Florida Man Comes Up With Worst Excuse Possible For Excessive Speeding
There has to be a better justification for driving over 100 mph. Right?
At some point in our lives, we’ve all been behind the wheel when suddenly something jets in front of our cars. Whether it be a squirrel, raccoon, cat, or something much more heinous — like a bicyclist wearing tights — we must act quickly to avoid making direct contact. Or we can drive over 100 mph and pretend we’re doing so because we’re trying to avoid one of those things.
According to News 6, that’s exactly what 32-year-old Florida driver Gregory Dolcine did when crossing a bridge. Police noted that this dude was clocked at 101 mph in a 55 mph zone and said that he was, and I quote, "speeding to avoid an animal in the roadway."
Uh, wait a minute… speeding to AVOID an animal? How exactly does driving like you’re trying to qualify for NASCAR help you avoid hitting anything? To come up with an excuse like that, he must’ve been hitting a bong. Although, that usually leads to driving 25 mph in a 55 mph zone. But I digress.
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This has to be one of the worst speeding excuses in history. Obviously, if you’re driving that fast, it’s going to be extremely difficult to control your vehicle. And with all the elderly people on the road down there, the last thing the state of Florida needs is another dangerous driver.
I’m trying to figure out what could’ve been going through this guy’s mind. Like, how does speeding help you dodge an animal? If anything, it’s the complete opposite, because speeding usually produces a ton of roadkill. It’s kind of like factories that make fast food burgers in that way.
He could’ve come up with a WAY better excuse for speeding. Like, why not say you’re rushing to the hospital because a loved one just got admitted? Sure, that’s disgusting and morally reprehensible, but cops are used to that sort of thing this time of year because they’re dealing with spring breakers.
Ultimately, this man was arrested for dangerous, excessive speeding. He did post bond, though, which means he’s now free to be a persistent nuisance in the state of Florida. You know, kind of like the New Yorkers who keep moving there.