Florida Cop Writes Erotic Report After Busting Couple's Sexcapade

Largo Police Officer Lawrence Trinka went above and beyond with his service to the Internet community Saturday when he turned in an erotic police report after busting a budding Captain Stabbin' for doing work on a young lass at a Largo park.

Stabbin', also known as Grant Mulder, 48, and Lauren Baugh, 41, were spotted Saturday afternoon getting down to business by Officer Trinka, who started taking mental notes and didn't disappoint with his use of the English language. “ lying on her back with her legs spread apart and her vulva exposed as her boyfriend and co-defendant performed cunnilingus on her,” Officer Lawrence Trinka wrote in the police report, noting that cunnilingus is often “better known as the union of the mouth with the vulva.”

Whew, it's like the Penthouse Forum up in this police report, obtained by The Smoking Gun.

It's noted in the report that Mulder went to the county jail on lewd and lascivious behavior charges while Ms. Baugh is on the hook for exposure of sexual organs.

This isn't the first time Mulder (goes by Buddha on Facebook) has been picked up by the long arm of the law. He's been popped for a number of offenses over the years and last served a tour of duty in the Florida penal system back in 2019.

What's Lauren see in Buddha? Dumb question. The guy is clearly down for adventure no matter where it may take him. Get yourself a relationship like Grant and Lauren have cooking.

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Joe Kinsey is the Senior Director of Content of OutKick and the editor of the Morning Screencaps column that examines a variety of stories taking place in real America. Kinsey is also the founder of OutKick’s Thursday Night Mowing League, America’s largest virtual mowing league. Kinsey graduated from University of Toledo.