Expert Says Having Sex This Many Times A Week Is Sufficient, And He Couldn't Be More Wrong
A health expert over in China is going TikTok viral right now for finally answering one of life's great questions: how many times should we all be knocking boots in order to live longer?
Now, before you get too excited, I've got some bad news for you – this guy is full of crap and, frankly, I'm not sure he's ever had sex.
That's not a knock on him, by the way. It's a knock on his "advice," which is so far off your heads are about to spin:
Here's how sex goes in your 20s and 30s
I'll save you the scrolling and cut to the chase. Our man here says that, according to ancient Chinese literature – and I'm talking 2,000-year-old "sexology text" – you should be having sex this many times a week based on your age-bracket:
20 year-old: Every 4 days
30 year-old: Every 8 days
40 year-old: Every 16 days
50 year-old: Every 21 days
60 year-old: Every 30 days
Nope. Not buying it. Not for one second. Maybe they can get away with that in China, but not over here in the good 'ol (horny) US of A. No shot.
You're telling me people in their 20s only need to be having sex once or twice a week to improve their health?
His TikTok says: "Did you know that insufficient sex is considered a cause of disease in traditional Chinese medicine?"
So, by that logic, twice a week for horny 20-year-olds with no kids is considered … sufficient sex? OK. Most sane Americans would knock that out before breakfast on a Monday.
Especially nowadays with all these dating apps. It's amazing how easy it is to just have sex in 2024. It's basically just like Uber Eats.
Remember when we used to have the call the movie theater, and the recording would give you all the movie times and you'd have to sit there and wait and wait for your movie to come across?
Nowadays, you can just pull up whatever movie you want online in like four seconds.
That's sex for 20-year-olds in 2024.
Again, I'm talking people in their 20s. I also assume they don't have kids. When you get into your 30s, it's a different ballgame. But even then, I'm calling BS on the once-every-eight days nonsense.
Frankly, I think you need to be having more sex in your 30s to improve your health – especially mentally.
Kids are great. They're the best. I love my daughter more than anything on this planet, so don't take this the wrong way …
… but kids ruin everything. Mainly sleep. So I think you need to be banging a lot more in your 30s because you're far more stressed. Once a week? Tomfoolery.
You need to take advantage of every single nap, episode of Ms. Rachel and babysitter you can find to squeeze in a quickie.
I can't speak for any of the other age-groups because I'm 31, but I do know a ton of older people and it seems they get way hornier around 60. It's almost like they've reverted to their 20s again. Like Benjamin Button.
We have a place down here in Florida called The Villages where a bunch of old people just stick different colored loofahs on their car to signal which sort of sex they're into.
True story. Look it up (but buddy, be careful).
Anyway, my overall point here is that ancient text from 2,000 years ago isn't the best barometer for sexual satisfaction in 2024.
More fake news from China!