ESPN's 2023 College Football Theme Song References Sex And Popping Pills, Sounds Like It's Meant For A Moody Teenager

ESPN's theme song for the 2023 college football season is Post Malone's "Something Real," and it's a very interesting choice.

The sports network always picks a song to represent the new season, and to be honest, the choices these past few years have been pretty disappointing.

Now, ESPN has selected a song that contains some....questionable lyrics definitely not meant for kids with Malone's "Something Real."

"ESPN has always celebrated the unique bond between music and college football. For 10 seasons, the ESPN College Football music anthem has been a foundation of our college football promotion, growing and evolving as the sport does. Post Malone is a renowned artist whose music is as diverse and passionate as the college football fanbase – and 'Something Real; is a track that lives up to the dynamic season ahead of us," Curtis Friends, ESPN Senior Director of Marketing, said in a Tuesday release.

That's all fine and good to claim the song "lives up to the dynamic season" awaiting fans, and the version released by ESPN has been trimmed to 82-seconds.

ESPN names Post Malone's "Something Real" as the 2023 college football season anthem.

However, the unedited version of the song contains references to sex, popping pills, going to hell, psychedelics, consuming alcohol to the point of passing out, suicide and more.

Let's take a quick glance at some of the lyrics:

Prada on my d*ck, Prada on my sleeveGive me somethin', somethin' real (Yeah)I could play that p*ssy like it's "Für Elise"
...
Throw a mil' at it, problem, throw a pill at itStill at it, sign-another-deal addict
...
No cover fee at the gates of hell, no VIPEverybody waits in line
...
How much psilocybin can a human eat?Give me somethin' I can feel (Yeah)Whiskey lullaby just to fall asleep
...
I would trade my life just to be at peace

You can listen to the full version below.

This seems like a terrible choice from ESPN.

Now, it's worth also noting almost all of that has been cut from the version ESPN has promoted, but there is definitely an f-bomb that has been censored out. That is clear to anyone with ears.

I'd argue the real question is why is a song that sounds meant for a moody teenager a college football theme song? Don't get me wrong. There's a time and a place for "Something Real."

Post Malone is very talented. He makes very solid music, and the point of this song seems to be that all these terrible addictions lead to bad things in life or possibly suicide. It's a very adult message, and not necessarily an incorrect one.

Post Malone's "Something Real" named ESPN's song of the college football season. (Photo by Paul Morigi/Getty Images for The Stronach Group)

However, is it appropriate for a Saturday morning with the family watching College GameDay? I'd argue not. Even if it's edited, the unedited version is wildly inappropriate for young people. It literally has an explicit warning on Spotify.

Again, the song isn't bad. After a few light beers as an adult or perhaps after your prom date rejects you as a high schooler, you hit play and vibe with it.

Music that's often associated with college football should be upbeat and have you ready to run through a wall. "Something Real" has me in my feels questioning life decisions.

Where's the rock music? Where's the outlaw country music? Where's something that has you ready for battle and not wondering whether you have a substance abuse issue? Below is a link to a full list of hits that would have been great.

How about "Jump Around," "Take Me Home, Country Roads," "Build Me Up Buttercup" or any classic? Make it make sense. Let me know if I'm correct or if you disagree in the comments below.