Drunk Florida Woman Screams At Cops, Attempts To Knock Herself Out Cold In Wild Arrest Video

I live in Florida – about 30 minutes from where this below video took place. I've lived here basically my whole life. I have a DeSantis sign in my yard, and a hat in my closet. 

Did COVID happen? Hell if I know. Does your state teach critical race theory? Mine doesn't. How's your late-April weather? Mine's the same as it's been since October – 75 and sunny. 

Oh, you're scared of a little hurricane? We don't get out of bed unless it's a Cat 4 or higher. Even then, it's iffy. 

I say all that because I want you to know that I don't take nonsense lightly down here. I'm a prideful Florida man. I wear it as a badge of honor. I'll never leave the state. Ever. Anyone who doesn't live here is insane, frankly. 

So when I see Florida Man or Florida Woman trending, I have to investigate. If someone is out there smearing our good name, I need to jump onto the battlefield and defend this great state – and its great people – with the intensity of a thousand suns. 

But … yeah, there's no defending this. This ain't one of those times. 

For the good stuff, go ahead and jump to 3 minutes in and lower the ‘ol volume on your laptop/mobile device. Trust me. 

Florida Woman goes down kicking and screaming 

Whoaaaaaaaaaa Nellie! 

I mean, my God. Again, this is 30 minutes from me. I'm so ashamed. We're better than this, folks. This nonsense happens in New York and California. Not Republican-run states. Shameful. 

How about the patience on these two cops? I'd punt this chick into the sun the second she started screaming. I can't handle that when my toddler does it and I certainly can't handle it when a grown woman does it. 

It's the loudest scream I've ever heard. How does she just keep going … and going … and going? Unreal stamina for someone who's tanked beyond belief. 

Do you understand your rights?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Roger that, then we won't ask you any other questions!

Again, unreal patience here. Give these two free drinks for life. 

Just kidding! Our great police officers never pay for anything down here. Take notes, San Francisco. 

And how about this chick's move at the end? Just plays her final card, which is to smash her noggin as hard as possible against the backseat. What's it gonna accomplish? Hell if I know, but she saw an out and took it.  

Insane move, but I reckon after you've already played all the other cards, you have to toss one final Hail Mary on the way out. 

What a wild nine minutes. What a state. 

Someone in the Flagler PD HR department give Mark Strawberg a few extra days off, please.