Danica Patrick & Her Hot Girlfriends Get Together For A Christmas Party, Conway Twitty At Bowl Game & MEAT!
Plus: Ric Flair gives marriage advice at the bar
Eligible bachelor would like to meet X-Canuck's daughter
If you missed Tuesday Screencaps, you missed former Canadian, X-Canuck, making a plea to Screencaps readers to help his daughter find a young Millennial or Gen Z who has his s--t together in life. X-Canuck says his daughter always complains about how the men she's meeting are so immature.
So, here we are with the first Gen Z stepping up to shoot his shot with X-Canuck's daughter.
— Ridge from Iowa writes:
I myself do not read your screencaps but my father does, His name is Russ from Iowa.
He told me about a fan of yours who was looking a match for his daughter through you. I laughed at first, but I have always been a "you miss all the shots you don't take" kinda guy so I thought I would throw my application in.
I'm a 25 yr. old blue collar kid, Devout Catholic(I like to think so at least). 6'1 ft. 200 lbs(If that is Important). Financially stable with decent job
Does not smoke, only drinks on a rare occasion. Massive Lord of the Rings fan. Looking to start a family with the right person.
Kinsey:
I have to give Ridge in Iowa massive credit here for even sending an email and credit to his dad, Russ, who emails from time to time, for raising a son who's willing to take a chance like this.
- I forwarded Ridge's email to X-Canuck
- So many of you say how you're worried about the next generation, but then I'll receive messages from guys like Ridge and others who are just trying to do their best in life and achieve goals like the rest of us — get married, raise a family and live a wholesome life.
- Ridge could've told his dad to stop being ridiculous, there's no way he's sending an email. I'll have you know that Ridge sent the email at 1:11 a.m. EST on Christmas Eve morning. He clearly trusts his dad's judgment and, to me, that's huge. His dad cares for him and you can tell Ridge feels the same way about his father.
- Ridge might not be a reader now, but here in about 10 years, if I'm still writing Screencaps, he'll be back. One minute you're 25, the next minute you're 35 and trying to make sense of life. Come on back in a few years, Ridge.
- If it doesn't work out with X-Canuck's daughter, it feels like Ridge isn't too far off from meeting the love of his life. His head seems to be in the right place. He's actually putting himself out there. It will happen.
— Drew in Katy, TX emails:
The fact that you referenced your pastor and that your daughter is selective about men tells me that you have likely raised your daughter very well. She is avoiding "no drive, no goals, immature, and still relying on mom and dad." Great for her!
My wife and I have raised three educated, hard working, intelligent, and wise sons. They know their way around power tools too. Two are already on their own and married to great wives, and one is still in high school. I prayed for God to let me move them to the country by the time that the oldest was 12, and that prayer was answered. What I’ve taught them always reminds me of these selected lines from Waylon Jenning’s song, "A Country Boy Can Survive"
I got a shotgun, a rifle and a 4-wheel drive
I can plow a field all day long
I can catch catfish from dusk 'til dawn
We can skin a buck, we can run a trotline
We grow good ol' tomatoes
You can't starve us out and you can't make us run
'Cause we're them old boys raised on shotguns
We say grace, and we say ma'am
If you ain't into that, we don't give a damn
Your daughter can find men like my sons in Cowboy Churches. There are a lot of them across the U.S. now but typically past the city limit sign. You will know them by the number of pickup trucks in the parking lot.
Here some quick screening tips for your daughter when she sees a man (and I use the term loosely): pale skin, soft hands, drives an electric car likely with liberal bumper stickers on the back, doesn’t support the U.S. and the 2nd amendment . . . see those, move along, and keep looking. And keep praying for her and her future husband, Dad.
— Steve Mac wanted in on this topic:
Feel free to forward this to X-Canuck, because I very much empathize with his daughter's plight.
As a clinical hypnotherapist, I basically study the human condition for a living. And it *is* harder to find a great partner these days. The online culture makes it so much easier for people to do the bare minimum to just barely eke by, and then find an online community where they can just wallow in victimhood, where "sympathetic" ears will tell them that they're victims of... whatever they feel like: DEI, woke culture, systemic racism, late-stage capitalism. The possibilities are endless.
So, yeah, I feel the frustration there. It's hard for guys to find a good woman, too. If there's any interest in seeing if there's a match between a flight attendant and a hypnotherapist, she's more than welcome to get in touch.
— K-Dubs in MA is worried for X-Canuck:
As a father of 2 daughters (24, 21) I had to chime on X-Canuck because I fear for his life now. While well-intentioned, I fear he may have put himself in harm's way. If I attempted to play match-maker on the country’s most popular daily column with either of my said daughters (with photos included!), I have no doubt, I’d be eating steak through a straw for 6 weeks and likely homeless. Need a wellness check on X-Canuck ASAP….Blink twice if OK, sir..
Merry Christmas, Joe and to the Screencaps Community!
Kinsey:
Was it one of the more unique emails I've ever received? Absolutely. Do I trust X-Canuck to make reasoned decisions which wouldn't put his daughter in a tough situation? I do.
You can tell X-Canuck is super-proud of his daughter and wants the best for her in life.
I just want a seat at the reception if X-Canuck's daughter finds a husband via Screencaps. It would be a defining moment for this column.
My readers deliver yet again — there's a ¼ zip in a Twisted Sister Christmas classic
— RJM emails:
Do what you want with that 1/4 zip cuck...
But banger of a song. Not the best representation for the 1/4 zip army is looking for but I think we can rule out the south made them popular....GEEAT rock Christmas song! Going to the in-laws anthem!
Dukes of Hazzard mentions always lead to emails
— Craig has a message:
Awesome Screencaps as always.
Loving the Dukes of Hazzard stuff. Like TV in Bham it was also my favorite show as a kid in the 80's. So much so my punishment when I was being a little shit was not being allowed to watch it.
Here in Virginia, in the town of Luray (Famous for the caverns) there is an actual Dukes of Hazzard museum and store/restaurant called Cooter's. It is absolutely fantastic. Wall to wall DoH memorabilia by the thousands, actual props and outfits from the show, etc. Also had multiple vehicles from the show. Wrecked ones outside and pristine, restored, showroom quality ones inside. I was in awe and was all of a sudden a little kid again, not 51. Wish I had gotten more pictures of the inside, but alas I have attached the ones I have.
If any of the loyal SC readers find themselves in Luray, VA. it would be in their best interest to stop here. Best part, it's 100% Free!! They even have free bluegrass concerts on Sundays.
A view from Regensburg, Germany Christmas market
— I've been seeing photos of Ryan and his wife in Europe over the last week. Today, he gives us a look at what they did on their trip. Ryan in Charlottesville reports:
Tokyo during the Christmas season
— CPA John from Hawaii is back:
Just got back from a day out in Tokyo.
Its going to take a minute to transfer everything from my phone but I thought I’d send the attached photo now.
Because of the file sizes it’s the only photo I could attach. It’s a freaking actual stuffed PANDA.
Where else but on Screencaps is anyone going to see a picture of a stuffed panda.
Screencaps mailers get their final messages in before they crank up the smokers & pour a drink
— Harvey D. in the 419 checks in:
Not trying to make this one of those damn form letter Holiday/Year end recap bullshit things.
I have no idea how you all do it. The interest and pulse of America flows through all of your daily/weekly postings. This is what everything should be. It's like sitting at a dive bar and listening, observing, tossing a comment in, and BAM! You are enthralled and engaged in all the opinions and conversations that begin. It is what this Country(best in the World!, fight me.) was meant to be. Honest exchange of ideas, thoughts, and opinions. The freedom to agree to disagree, and not want to choke a MF'er out is why its the 1st, and protected by the 2nd. In any enterprise, it is only as strong as it's weakest link. The chain you all have built would raft off the 7th fleet at PIB.
Please do not break that chain or the anchor that this site has become to more and more True Americans every day!
I want to thank you all for what you do and wish everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy and Prosperous New Year!
Advice if your Christmas decorations keep blowing over
— Rod suggests:
Scott in Rocky Point,NY showed some casualties to wind/weather and I wanted to provide some advice for next year. Those decorations are expensive to replace. Go to a local farm supply store and get fiberglass fencing stakes. They are 3ft long and can be driven into the ground with a rubber mallet, and cost a couple bucks each. The good thing is they are easy to cut in half for smaller decorations.
Just drive the stake in the ground and set the decorations over the top. Those cheap stakes they provide with the decorations suck and this way you dont worry about damage. If I can't use a stake (i.e. spiral trees) I use aluminum electric fence wire and tent stakes in a triangle pattern around the decorations. No matter which direction the wind blows, they stay upright, and we dealt with 40mph winds a few times this season. Never had to fix anything or stand anything back up.
— The legendary Beau in Toledo checks in:
Sitting here at work on the 23rd (yes, that means this email is sober) 😁 w my feet up on the desk reading the Best Dang Article on the Internet, and thought I'd look up a Lee Trevino story my Pops told Me about when I was just getting into golf. Dunno if True, but I've used it at Mrs. Beau in Toledo's house!
https://jokesiheard.com/2014/06/11/lee-trevino-golfer/
----------------------------------
One day, shortly after joining the PGA tour in 1965, a professional golfer and married man, was at his home in Dallas, Texas, Lee Trevino, mowing his front lawn, as he always did.
A lady driving by in a big, shiny Cadillac stopped in front of his house, lowered the window and asked, "Excuse me, do you speak English?"
Lee responded, "Yes Ma’am, I do."
The lady then asked, "What do you charge to do yard work?"
Lee said, "Well, the lady in this house lets me sleep with her."
The lady hurriedly put the car into gear and sped off.
— Deb on Marco Island is ready for Christmas:
I asked my husband for a Battery Daddy when they first came out and I totally love it. I can always see when we need more AA batteries (hubby uses them a lot for his Roku remote to listen with headphones). I never knew what batteries we had or where they were. Now they are right where I saw them last week.
This year he bought me (at my request) some Amaryllis bulbs. They have just started blooming a day or two ago. He wanted to buy me something more, but like you, I don't need anything more to fill up the house. Especially when we are downsizing once again to try to move to a condo from a house.
He has zero 1/4 zips and I have one. I think I wore mine once or twice last winter. It's supposed to be warmer than usual this winter in Marco, so it will probably stay in the closet. Most of the time we are in shorts and tees.
After I saw Pete Golding's presser, I wish that LSU had hired him instead of Kiffin.
Merry Christmas to you and the family. Keep the boy running.
— Tim T. tells me:
76 degrees today, came home from a round of golf to 6 blooms on my hibiscus. Thought it might cheer up Mrs. Screencaps. Anyway, Merry Christmas to you and all the Screencap family.
Christmas MEAT!
— Tyler V. emails back:
Thanks for including my dukes of Hazzard stuff in your column this morning.
Here’s the standing rib roast I did tonight. Reverse-seared on the egg.
Hope y’all have a Merry Christmas.
Galway, Ireland before Christmas
— Cindy T. in Idaho is still in Ireland and knows great art:
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That is it for this Christmas Eve. I still have to pump out the Christmas morning edition. Yes, it will be a fresh edition, but don't worry, I'm not getting up on Christmas morning and writing the column.
After finishing up, I'll be done until Friday morning. Have a great Christmas. Enjoy those family moments and make sure to show me if your wife surprises you with a new ¼ zip or a Battery Daddy.
Merry Christmas.
📩 Email: joe.kinsey@outkick.com
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