College Golfer Lilia Schneider Has A Big Start To Summer, Aaron Rodgers' Incredible Weekend & Bud Light Had A Bad Holiday
Let's get back to business
Are you tired this morning like my kids? I don't want to hear it!
This is why you put in all the off-season reps from New Year's Day to Memorial Day Weekend. This is why we condition our bodies for the punishment of the first three-day weekend of summer. I get that you went HARD on the boat and HARD in the pool and HARD in the cooler suckin' down multiple Yuenglings and Coors Lights. I get that you ate like a savage, stayed up late next to the fire like a caveman, worked your ass off in the yard, put in at least 25k steps each day and now you woke up feeling like someone beat you over the back with a shovel.
This is when we have to nut up (I think that's Dan Dakich's line) and go give 110% at the job you might despise, but it pays the bills.
Weekend recap around here:
• I saw (ONE) Bud Light consumed this weekend and that was the last pre-Mulvaney Bud Light out of my garage that had been in there for at least six months. My neighbor sucked it down, reluctantly.
• I golfed Sunday morning and thought I had a decent round -- for me -- going and then the wheels fell off over the final four holes. The highlight of the round had to be when I hit a laser into the trees. Canoe Kirk was driving and we were convinced the ball couldn't have gone any further into the trees than where it entered.
He says something about how it might've went down into some animal hole and I'll be damned if I didn't look into that hole and there was the ball about 16 inches down into the hole. He got out his ball retriever and it was determined I'd made an incredible shot on the Par 3.
• I'd say the pool saw somewhere around 10-12 hours of action without blood or any commotion. That's a success.
• 11 different kids, multiple adults, one Goldendoodle, and no incidents. It makes me smile from ear to ear.
• The diving board held the neighborhood teens, who put on a couple of lbs. this offseason, without snapping and requiring more welding out of my father. That's a win. Have you priced a new diving board lately?
• Buying the kids' size variety packs of chips from Costco and saying pick what you want makes you the cool neighborhood house. The problem is that the kids are not little anymore and I'm going to need a weekly supply at this rate.
• I'm still amazed at the young guy at the rock store Saturday handling 200-pound rocks with edges that will slice your hands without gloves. "I don't even own a pair of work gloves," he told me.
That's an absolute warrior.
He could have handled this one, but the rocks were lodged into the crate and required the clamp which was a big highlight of the weekend.
• It felt incredible to spend nearly every waking moment outside consuming fresh air and being joined by the kids. My youngest is now at that age where he's going hard, eating anything in front of him, the hair is getting sun-bleached and he's starting to look like he could end up working in the Keys one day.
• Zero rain. Winds are up. Things are drying out FAST.
Instagram is down on iOS again?
• Nick from the 614 writes:
Happy Memorial Day. Instagram photos stopped appearing on iOS again. Will this be fixed soon? Please don’t make me scroll Barstool. Are you guys ever going to get an app? Barstool is such a shit hole but their app has always been efficient.
Do your own research!
• Mike T. in Idaho saw this one and sent it in:
House ball?
• Travel ball hardo Chris B. in Houston writes:
House ball!
*Ed. note: Possible trigger warning about emotions possibly boiling over in the emails. You have to remember I have a rivalry with travel ball hardo Chris B. in Houston on this stuff. Stay calm if you're easily triggered one way or the other on this sports topic.
Kinsey response:
House ball? Looks like some jerkoff coach travel ball to me where the kids go home with stupid plastic rings their moms get to brag about on Facebook.
Women's softball
• Tom in Florida writes:
Please try to address this. I tried, lord knows I've tried to watch the woman's softball tourney. If ever a sport needed a pitch clock, it's this sport. Why do the infielders have to pump up the pitcher after every pitch? Why does the batter have to take a walk around after every pitch? I timed the FSU pitcher, 45-60 seconds after every pitch.
It's brutal. The actual playing is very good, but the celebrations after every pitch and out whooooo, tough to watch.
Kinsey:
That's a great question for the community because we have multiple dads who are living inside the softball secret society which seems insanely competitive.
From my personal experience hanging around the baseball diamonds, softball parents seem to live and die with every pitch, which I have to believe bleeds over to the kids which then bleeds over into high school softball, and then it made its way to college softball.
Our league sent out a notice late last week to remind parents how to act at games. I guess there were certain teams who had family members yelling at 15-year-old umpires.
Good times.
'Please don't'
• Steve D. in Eldersburg, Maryland writes:
Just dropping a line to ASK you to NOT take the company line (the company being FOX) on the Republican primary.
We’re seeing articles on Outkick supporting Ron DeSantis (who’s been running for the nomination for a long time, though he was just allowed to declare by his big donor handlers) over Trump.
DeSantis has been a good governor compared to most. But he’s now beholding to the all the same Big CONservative groups that backed Jeb and Ted, and we know how fake both of them were.
Trump has already PROVEN that he is the best president for the working man since Ronald Reagan.
I’m asking you, the author of the most fun column on the web, to stay neutral in your writing, and to keep Screencaps what it is. I have a feeling I really don’t need to ask because you have more sense and more scruples than some of your Outkick counterparts who are already jumping on the Establishment bandwagon.
Kinsey:
I can guarantee you I didn't have a single political discussion over the weekend and didn't think about the Republican primaries.
Plus, now it's summer. I'm in summer Screencaps mode, Steve. I'll gladly allow the political analysts to be political analysts. I have a mowing league to run!
The only politicians I care about this summer are the scumbags who want to take our mowers.
Service dogs on planes
• Len in Denver writes:
Faithful reader of Screencaps but but need a little more info from Ripcurl in St Pete about how he got his dog on an airplane as a “service dog”. I’m happy to pay a full fare and I’m sure other Screencap readers would love to know!
Thanks for what you do!
That's it.
Remember, IT'S TUESDAY! It's time to put the hammer down and get the job done today. And those of you who have the week off, enjoy that beach house and the noon beers. The rest of us will hold down the fort.
Take care.
Email: joekinsey@gmail.com