Christina Aguilera Gets 'All Laced Up' & Drives Her Fans Crazy On Instagram, Naked Gun Gets 4-Stars & Amir Day
Plus: Football IS BACK tonight in Canton, OH.
A wild report from Cheesecake Factory on National Cheesecake Day (last night) in suburban Dayton, OH
— Mike from Centerville sent in this instant classic:
I had a wild and emotional ride tonight at the Cheesecake Factory in Beavercreek. Me and the misses (with another couple) stopped there, after dinner at another place, for 50% off a cheesecake for...wait for it.....National Cheesecake Day.
It was packed, but we worked our way into the bar area. There weren't enough seats for all of us at the bar but we managed. Later on a few seats opened up, and we could all sit together, but I was the guy sitting next to the biggest dude at the bar. 6'5" 300 pounds. For the next 20 minutes, we all sat there minding our own business when I finally reached out to him.
He and his wife live Northwest of Dayton and they were extremely friendly and talkative and shared that they're expecting their 3rd child. A boy! They have 2 girls and I suggested the name Michael for the boy!
They were a delightful couple to talk to. So delightful when the buddy's misses heard about the new to-be baby she had to come over and show pics of other baby's in her phone. SMH
That was scene 1. I'm not making this up.
The Big Guy/delightful couple leave.
While I'm turned around talking to my buddy, I get shoved in my back. A group comes in taking over Big Guy's seats. I didn't say anything, but the bartender said, "There's not enough seats for me to serve you here."
There are about 8 people. The woman next to me is the most aggressive, but I politely told her this is my space.
For the most part, that woman kept her back to me, but we did converse.
The biggest man (6' 4") in the group had a brand-new Phillies hat on. I asked him if he's a Kyle Schwarber fan. He replied, with a heavy Haitian accent, 'I like Mike Schmidt."
It was a programed answer for Dayton, Ohio. I'm not sure if the guy is old enough to know who Mike Schmidt is, but I do know where he lived when Mike was playing they didn't have TV.
And this is when I got my face time with the woman next to me. She turned around to tell me she's a professor at Central State University.
Then her dad suddenly shows up. Stated he was a Big Red Machine fan. CSU retiree. Pete Rose favorite player of all time. Sure.
That diffused the topic.
And....
Cheesecake Factory quickly found a large table for the group.
Scene #3
Two college coeds sit down next to me. It's true. The misses will vouch for me.
They're both to my left and I make some small conversation. Then I say, "If you guys have a Cheesecake Rewards you can get a slice of cheesecake for 50% off."
The girl directly to my left says, "That's why we're here, you dumb motherf--ker."
I lit her verbally up and down and quite frankly got really nasty and said really ugly things. Really ugly. Really Ugly (While driving home I prayed for forgiveness). She didn't say a thing. I took a second breath and looked at my buddy, John, and asked if I should keep going, but he was shaking his head vigorously no with a throat slashing to stop.
It's ironic, when you go out for a nightcap most are going to be concerned about having an encounter with a drunk giant, or going to Cincy and dealing with race issues, but I never thought a nit-wit coed would get me near the boiling point.
I hate these posts. There need to be parameters like how many of these cities have you spent a night in. Flying through an airport or driving through shouldn't count.
- I've slept in 28 of those cities.
- I'm proud that I've never slept in Oakland or Memphis
- I spent a night in a converted convent after the 2011 Jets-Steelers playoff game. The hotel room had a single bed. Literally a single. Like you're not rolling over without falling off the bed single bed. My buddy Mark took the bed. I brought an air mattress. 30 minutes after laying on that mattress, it was flat as a pancake. It was a horrible night.
The BuzzBallz pool might be the must-have of the summer
I already have a pool & Mrs. Screencaps doesn't want one of these on our patio, but that doesn't mean I won't be on the BuzzBallz website at 10 a.m. EST trying to get one of these beauties.
Someone was reading the latest Screencaps Newsletter: NFL game tickets are out of control
GO SIGN UP FOR THE NEWSLETTER & YOU BETTER OPEN IT!
The premise of this week's newsletter was how I'll gladly spend $500 a year to watch as many NFL games as humanly possible because it's so expensive to go to single NFL games.
The Sunday Ticket on YouTubeTV has jumped by 8% this year, but that's still a steal vs. attending one game.
— Kevin in Gibsonia, PA is a Bills season ticket holder:
I just read the newsletter - great as always. You said you can't believe what people are willing to spend on regular season tickets. I am a Bill's season ticket holder. Decent seats (2) - 25-yard line, 24 rows up behind the Bills bench. Since I live 3 hours away, I can't always make it to Sunday, Monday and Thursday night games.
I only get so much vacation time.
Just this week we sold the KC game for $1900 and the Philly game for $1100 - and I will probably get another $150 each for my parking pass. That alone almost pays for the year. I would never spend that much for a regular season game. I can only imagine the balance on these people's credit cards.
Kevin in Gibsonia, PA
P.S. I also have a "version" of the Sunday Ticket so I don't miss any games a can't attend
LPGA vs. WNBA: How to treat new stars
— Jim T. in San Diego shares an observation:
Striking difference in how the LPGA is welcoming Lottie Woad vs. how Caitlin Clarke has been shunned by her league.
LPGA seems like they want to grow, unlike the WNBA ...
Kinsey:
I'll be honest, I'd never heard of Woad until Jim T. sent this email. I've become so conditioned to just expect the next great women's golfer to be Asian that I would've never figured Lottie Woad would be an English golfer.
But, here we are.
If Jim T. says she's the next big thing, then she is. The guy typically doesn't blow smoke.
Speaking of the WNBA and its lime green dildo incident
— Andy from Knoxville says:
Haven’t written in a while but still reading everyday. I’m a retired Marine and for years I thought Marines were the only ones getting screwed by the Big Green Weenie. Turns out the WNBA is in on that action too. Who knew. Semper Fi to all my fellow Devil Dogs in the Screencaps community.
‘Why I cannot commit to your Thursday Night Mowing League’
— Dan, who says he loves Screencaps, explains:
I like the premise where men do their own yard work.
Live in KC metro.
Never paid anyone to mow my lawn.
I’m 64.
Just mowed my lawn after 2 1/2 weeks since the last time
I collect the grass with my Honda residential mower, as I have for more than 3 decades.
In May, I collected more grass in a week of growth than I just did.
Not sure how grass grows in other regions of our country.
My point is, I skip a week ( after May) and adjust my mowing schedule due to heat and rain.
I mow the grass high.
Grass is 75% water.
It doesn’t want to get cut.
It definitely doesn’t want to be cut every week on a defined schedule.
I never mow on a specific day.
Never mow when it’s 90 or above and no chance of rain ( have a sprinkler system that has been maintained and used).
My point is: I can’t join join the TNML because I don’t religiously mow on Thursday.
Kinsey:
I had to ask Google's AI about this idea that grass "doesn't want to get cut."
Here's what Google AI has to say about that:
"Grass does not have consciousness or desires, so it doesn't ‘want’ anything, including not wanting to be cut," AI says.
Case closed.
I don't care about grass' emotional needs.
Something to ponder today at work
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And that is it for the final day you'll ever live in July 2025. It's hard to believe summer is about over for the school kids, my kids, who have been knocking at the door for the last two months.
Last night, we dropped like $180 on cross country shoes for Screencaps Jr. I about fainted when the highly-educated running shoe salesman declared that Jr. needed to try on a size 10. He's 12.
I know some of you have kids who are monsters. I WAS NOT under the impression that our son would be in a size 10 at 12. That was a reality check that our grocery bill is about to spike.
Anyway, let's crank out a positive day of life and good luck if you try to buy one of the BuzzBallz pools (#notsponsored).
Have a great day.
Email: joe.kinsey@outkick.com or use my personal Gmail