Carrie Underwood Has Her Fastball At 41, Trump Mocks Biden With Snapchat & Lost Plane Wheel Crushes A Car
Whew. What a night!
I'll be honest with you, I didn't watch a second of Joe Biden's SOTU last night. Just couldn't do it. I have enough in my life that annoys me on a daily basis, so there's no real need to add to the list. There's plenty there, I promise.
But, in reviewing everything last night and this morning on Elon's Twitter, I think it may have been the single greatest political night of all time in terms of the #content.
I can't get enough of it today. Seriously.
Between Sleepy's absolute shock when he saw Marjorie Taylor Green, to Lincoln Riley getting an all-time shout-out, to Donald Trump responding in real-time in maybe the most relatable way ever, it was a night for the history books.
What a time to be alive. Can't wait to tell my kids about this era one day. Truly.
And on that note, welcome to a Friday Nightcaps – the one where we pick up the pieces from last night, look ahead to Carrie Underwood turning 41 on Sunday, and maybe mix in a couple laughs along the way.
We're gonna zig and zag like you wouldn't believe today, so buckle the hell up.
Normally, I'd give you a rundown of the menu. But Fridays are a wild card and, frankly, I don't even have it all planned out yet, so we're just gonna wing it.
Sound good? Good.
Grab whatever beverage you'd like, mix it with enough alcohol to get the night started on the right note, and settle in for a big, pre-spring forward class!
Spring forward with Carrie Underwood, who we respect around here
Be honest – did you know we spring forward tomorrow night? I had no clue. None. Feels like we just gained the hour back, and now we're losing it again? Makes no sense.
Last week, we gave out a free history lesson on why February had a leap day every four years. It's only right to quickly go over why we stupidly change the clocks every 5 to 7 months.
In short, it was originally because of WW1. It used to be known as "War Time" when it was signed into law in 1918. The reasoning? More daylight hours during the day could help save energy costs during World War I.
If they thought costs were bad back then, imagine what they'd think of today's economy. Despite, of course, what Joe told us last night.
Anyway, daylight saving time was only around for about a year until the war ended, and then BAM – it was repealed.
See how easy that was? Why is everything so hard now?
It was brought back decades later when that pesky second war started, and, this time, it stuck around for good.
People also like to say we spring forward because it gives us more sunlight and "time to enjoy the outdoors with your family."
Whatever. That's lame. I like the war version better.
Anyway, all that to say when you're up tomorrow night (Sunday morning) at 1:59 a.m. dry heaving into a toilet and rethinking all of your decisions, just remember it's about to be 3 a.m. Enjoy!
Oh yeah, here's Carrie. She turns 41 on Sunday and we respect our queens around here.
What a night for content last night
Welcome back to class, Carrie Underwood. And happy early birthday! You're welcome here any time – no matter if it's an hour earlier or later!
Now, back to last night …
Like I said, it was a masterclass in content. A blogger's dream, really.
From Joe speaking like drugged-up Jessie Spanos from Saved by the Bell, to Trump (maybe?) learning about Snapchat filters for the first time, to Lincoln Riley making a cameo, it was truly America at our … best?
Maybe that's not the best term for it, but where the hell else are you getting this sort of political content on an otherwise slow March night?
Garth uncorks a pass, milk thief, more great PR for aviation & Baker hits dingers
Left, right, down the middle, voting RFK, writing in DeSantis – doesn't matter. That's funny. Funny is funny, and last night delivered.
Totally forgot about AOC crushing Zyns. Electric. And how about Katie Britt? I think she scares the bejesus out of me. But she also may be a genius. Major Robert California vibes there:
Still, to this day, one of the greatest, most underrated sitcom characters of all time. Not just on The Office, but of all time. True story.
OK, rapid fire time before you get crushed to dust by a plane wheel!
Usually I don't like to update our list on back-to-back days, but how am I supposed to ignore that?
In the last two months we've had:
- Alaska Boeing Max loses a door mid-flight.
- Atlas Air blows an engine in the sky.
- Guy in Utah gets sucked into a commercial airliner while running on tarmac.
- Another Max plane gets dinged because of pesky loose bolts.
- Wheel nearly comes off commercial flight right before takeoff.
- United CEO is also a drag queen.
- Virgin flight missing bolts.
- Holes mis-drilled in new Max planes.
- A pair of JetBlue planes collide at Logan
- Perfectly-sane Britney Spears pilots a plane
- NYC bound plane makes a U-turn because of a fire in the cockpit
- Helicopter makes a U-turn four seconds after liftoff, winds up stuck between a building a light pole
- United flight bursts into flames mid-flight
- United flight lose a wheel on takeoff, crush multiple cars to dust
Hell of a run for United! Hell, at this point, they make Spirit look like the Ritz.
Next!
Look, there are only so many things to do once you've been caught stealing. Throwing a tantrum is, unfortunately, one of them.
You could also not steal, but I realize that's asking a lot of people in 2024. Fight or flight, baby, and this cat does both! Go out with a bang if you're gonna go.
Finally, let's check in on Baker Mayfield playing baseball, and Garth Brooks playing football.
How's that for a Friday twist?
Natalie Decker celebrates International Women's Day and takes us home
Any Nashville readers going to Garth's new bar tonight? I used to love Garth, but even I think he's a little full of crap nowadays.
That being said, if you stop by, by all means take some pics of the madness and let me know how it goes.
Also: how about Baker Baker the TD Maker being a lefty at the dish? Had no clue. What a comeback for him this year.
And on that note, let's head into a big weekend with clear eyes, full hearts (can't lose!), and NASCAR racer/adult content creator Natalie Decker.
See you Monday.