Caffeine Chaos As Florida Man Tosses Frappé At McDonald's Worker

Many of us have enjoyed a late-night run to McDonald’s for a little something special. Whether it’s a Big Mac, a Quarter Pounder with Cheese, or a Snack Wrap, there’s something magical about pulling up to the drive-thru window and being served exactly what you’ve been craving. However, one Florida Man decided to ruin the enchantment and act like an even bigger clown than Ronald McDonald himself.

Daniel Abramowitz, 29, was arrested after assaulting a McDonald’s drive-thru worker. But it wasn’t just any ol’ assault — per an arrest report, this guy "threw a blended frozen coffee beverage (McDonald’s Frappé) at the victim." Now, I know what you’re thinking: I can’t believe something other than the McRib could cause serious bodily harm! But this man successfully dropped a sugar bomb that did just that.

The arrest report elaborates, explaining, "The beverage struck the victim in the facial region, causing the beverage container to break open upon impact." 

Absolutely unbelievable. I mean, this guy is such a dirt-bag that he makes the Hamburglar seem like an upstanding citizen.

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Now for the question on everyone’s minds: WHY did the perp commit such a heinous act of wickedness? The report claims that he engaged in "a brief discussion with the victim at the drive-thru window," but doesn’t say what that conversation was about. What could the employee have possibly said to set him off like this? Apparently, he’s 6’2" and weighs only 150 pounds. Maybe she recommended the Filet-O-Fish for a little protein infusion?

Here’s the real problem — this dude was getting coffee at 1:02 a.m. If that isn’t the sign of a man with extremely poor decision-making skills, then I don’t know what is. The only people ordering a caffeinated beverage at that hour are stone-cold maniacs. And night-shift workers, but something tells me this loser wasn’t exactly clocking in anytime soon.

Believe it or not, this gentleman has a prior conviction, so now he’s incarcerated yet again. But he should consider himself lucky. Yeah, if he had committed this crime in front of the Burger King, he might have faced the guillotine. Or worse — been forced to consume a Whopper.