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I finally have a quiet day for a review of the Tesla from Atlanta to Augusta

After a busy few days when I got back from The Masters and then a week of running Screencaps test, I finally have free time to sit and write about the Tesla experience that so many have wanted addressed. 

For those who weren't here three weeks ago, the story goes that my friend Canoe Kirk wanted to rent a Tesla to drive to Augusta. He'd never driven one, so what the hell? They were cheap, so he rented it. 

Here are the results: 

1. Let's cut to the chase: Canoe Kirk says he'd never buy one unless it was to drive from his house to the grocery store, the doctor's office or within a 25-mile radius.
2. It's approximately 160 miles from ATL to where we played golf south of Augusta. If we didn't stop in Madison, GA for a charge, the car would've gone dead in the middle of nowhere GA. I can't remember exactly where we got off, but I think it was Thomson, GA.
3. I think we saw one grocery store from Thomson all the way to Applewood Golf Course. We were in big trouble if we started looking for a charger.
4. At some point approximately 20 minutes out from Applewood, the GPS told us to take a dirt road. I highly recommended we not take the dirt road, but Canoe Kirk insisted on seeing what the Tesla had, so he drove six miles down this Georgia dirt road – there were one washout spot where he said it began to slide – until we met up with pavement and all was good.
5. Once we made it to Augusta, Kirk thought we were good finding chargers downtown. He's a seasoned traveler. I worried about the golf tickets. He worried about charging stations. However, he didn't realize that downtown charging stations were behind massive gates at the hotels. Guest charging stations only.
6. Eventually, we found an open station at the Washington Rd. Hilton Garden Inn and we were in business for charges while on the ground in Augusta.
7. On the way back to ATL, we stopped once again in Madison and then some other station to top it off before returning to the airport.
8. My personal feeling is that the car has too much technology. If I want to control the air vents, I have to use the massive touch-screen. There's way too much touching of that screen. Screw that. I just want to drive. I don't want to multitask. Maybe there's a way to do voice-activation with the air vents. We never got that far. And what's up with the thermostat? If you told it to give some A/C, it would BLAST the A/C until the cabin temp got to your set number. There was no easing into things. Plus, the A/C killed the battery. Driving long distances in this car with A/C running wasn't great.
9. There's no argument over the pickup of the Tesla. It'll fly. However, Kirk says the braking system would cause a divorce in his household.
10. Would we purposely rent a Tesla for another trip like this one? No….BUT!
11. When we returned the car at the airport, a manager asked us if we'd like a courtesy ride to the airport. On the way, the guy told us that (I think it was Hetz) is going to all electric vehicle rentals at ATL. And he said one of the EVs they'll offer does like 300 miles and then takes 3-4 hours to get a full charge.
12. What about long trips?
13. The guy says managers like himself aren't allowed to take courtesy rentals unless they're EVs. He travels back and forth to see family in Louisiana, so the EVs are useless to him. Instead, he jumps on planes.
14. Wait, what happens when airline passengers are stranded in ATL and they decide to make drives back to places like Boston instead of staying in airports for days until the airports get sorted out?
15. The guy said good luck finding gas rental cars in the future.

Conclusion: 

The Tesla was fun to screw with, but it had massive drawbacks. Did it cost us valuable time on our trip? Barely. In Madison, we were able to charge, grab McDonald's at one of the wildest McDonald's I'd ever stepped foot in where it seemed like a fight could break out at any moment. 

I wouldn't say that we wasted away the trip charging. It's not like I look back and think, ‘Damn, if only we weren’t charging, we could've stayed at Hooters another 30 minutes.' 

Of course there are a bunch of you who own Teslas and you're about to send me emails blasting my review. I was in the car for 2 ½ days. I get that there's a learning curve. I'm sure yours is completely dialed in and you pretty much tell the car what to do and life is great. 

I'm more of a 2003-04 Honda Civic kind of guy. In fact, this 2018 Camry we bought last year is about as far as I want to go with technology. I'd prefer if my car didn't know everything about me. 

Digging in clay for a privacy screen

- Chris B. in Florida writes: 

About 30 years ago, I was digging post holes for my parents in upstate South Carolina. The best way I could find to make it easier was to keep the hose running and soften it a little. Messy as hell, but worth it. Nice live privacy fence you’re building.

Kinsey: 

Last night, Screencaps Jr. got a lesson in digging through clay as he helped me plant two more arbs. We're up to eight in the ground and I can brag on social media that I planted two trees on Earth Day. 

Meanwhile, the lib losers were probably screaming on a college campus or claiming that they were saving the bees by letting their grass grow a mile high. 

NFL blackouts

- Brad S. writes: 

I vividly remember in the 1970s the threat of NFL games being blacked out. This was WAY before cable, etc.

We lived in Chicago, and I remember listening to WGN radio and all morning long, Wally Phillips would talk about how the Bears game wouldn't be televised on Sunday because they didn't sell enough tickets. (If I remember, the game had to be 85% sold to be broadcast locally. This was a challenge for Chicago, since the Bears were lousy and Soldier Field was huge!) 

Amazingly, right near the end of Wally's show, a local business owner would call in to announce that his company was buying the remainder of the tickets so the game would be on TV.

Kinsey: 

I seem to remember the same thing happening growing up in Dayton. The Bengals would announce on Friday that they needed to sell ‘x’ amount of tickets or the game wouldn't be on TV. 

Needless to say, after Boomer went to the Jets, we didn't see many games on local TV. The 1990s were very, very dark times for us Bengals fans. 

MLB blackouts

- Mike C. emails: 

Chris B mentioned that the blackouts are RSN related, not so much selling tickets to the games. Totally agree. The problem today is that if you are streaming and not using cable, is not possible to stream the RSN. 

I'm a Reds fan in Indy and Reds games are on Bally sports. My son has the Bally sports app to watch the Pacers but MLB does not allow streaming of Reds games on the app. 

Which makes ZERO sense. Since YouTube TV doesn't carry Bally, I'm SOL. I'm saving over $120 a month switching you YTTV so would be willing to pay some for Reds games but there is no option for this die hard fan.  

I probably watched at least some of 130+ games last year. This year it's 5. Two this weekend at my parents house and opening day in a bar.

Kinsey: 

I ran this plan past Mrs. Screencaps last night. 

• Pause YTTV until football season when I need YTTV for the NFL Ticket
• Buy Fubo for the summer which will get me the Bally channels I need to see the Reds, Tigers and Indians
• Cancel Fubo once I lose interest in the baseball season

Do I want the hassle of keeping track of these apps? Absolutely not. But I have to find a solution. I want my kids to learn about the Reds. It's time to take action without paying for two cable providers. 

Drip…drip…drip…

Over the weekend, I asked an Ohio high school basketball state champion coach if we're going to see kids bypass traditional high school basketball seasons to join AAU franchises. 

He wrote: 

"Possibly… in my opinion, you're going to see a trickle-down effect from what’s going on at the college level. Complete chaos…transfers and NIL…we’ve got kids all over Ohio transferring.. the OHSAA cannot police it or will not. Actually, instead of all these rules, they need to open it up for at least a one-time transfer for us to compete with those who are doing it illegally."

Are the Mannings overexposed?

- Zach asks: 

Is it me, or is Peyton and Eli Manning in way too many commercials/ads nowadays?

Kinsey: 

I think we're not sick of the Mannings because the stuff they appear in is typically self-deprecating. It comes off as slapstick which to our brains is harmless and actually refreshing during these times when there's so little Middle America slapstick. 

I've never sat here and thought, ‘We need less of the Mannings.’ 

Maybe I'm in the minority, but I just don't find myself being annoyed by them. 

Congratulations to those who received a special edition TNML sticker from Fink

I have an envelope on the kitchen table that I believe holds my TNML hologram sticker like something out of a Topps box. 

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Let's go have ourselves a day. 

Never forget, no matter how insane things might seem, we're damn lucky to call this piece of land home. Go have a positive day. Enjoy another day of retirement or, if you're like my father, another day of work even though you're supposed to be retired. I figure he's delivering heavy equipment to job sites today. 

Take care. 

Email: joekinsey@gmail.com

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