The Best Episode Of Each Season Of 'The Sopranos'
Grab your gabagool and let's rank some of our favorite "Sopranos" episodes.
Where were you on this day 26 years ago?
April 9, 2000. The day the greatest episode in television history (in my opinion) hit the airwaves.
A little ditty called "Funhouse" was released to an unsuspecting audience of HBO viewers over a quarter-century ago, and Sopranos fans were never the same.
READ: Ranking The Major Antagonists Of 'The Sopranos'
Seeing this landmark hour of television trending on social media this morning got me thinking, what are the greatest Sopranos episodes of each season?
Well, if you know me, you're aware of where this is going, so buckle up and allow me to, once again, relive the best show in TV history.
This might seem obvious to some, but MASSIVE SPOILERS LIE AHEAD.
If you haven't seen The Sopranos yet, don't go any further. Otherwise, grab some gabagool and let's dive into some rankings.
Season 1: "I Dream Of Jeanie Cusamano"
The finale of the first season of The Sopranos is about as clean of an ending as the show ever had.
Almost every storyline finds a nice, neat conclusion – relative to the rest of the season finales, anyway.
Tony gets revenge on Junior for the failed attempt on his life, crippling his uncle's crew and eliminating most of his top-ranking men, while Junior himself gets visited by the FBI and thrown in jail before he can enjoy the fruits of being "boss" for more than a New York minute.
Our favorite anti-hero doesn't get everything he wants though, as his mother, Livia – the other part of the failed hit equation – suffers a stroke just as Tony is on his way to "fluff her pillow" for her (i.e. strangle her to death).
And there's still the question of what happened to Salvatore "Big Pussy" Bonpensiero, Tony's best friend and loyal soldier.
Did he turn state's witness or really skip town out of paranoia? That's a question to be answered at a later date.
In a show that would feature plenty of frustrating and/or dark endings (hello, series finale), the final moments of "I Dream Of Jeanie Cusamano" are shockingly cozy, as the Soprano family find themselves at Vesuvio for a candle-lit dinner, surrounded by the other members of Tony's crew, as the boss delivers this poignant line:
"If you're lucky, you'll remember the little moments like this… that were good."
Perfection.
Season 2: "Funhouse"
I swear they aren't all going to be season finales, but The Sopranos' writers and cast members all brought their absolute A-games when each season came to an end, and "Funhouse" was no different.
For crying out loud, this episode is the whole reason I'm writing this article.
Season 2's finale is probably the last one that felt like a legitimate "series ender" with very few loose ends hanging, and the big one that gets dealt with in this episode is Big Pussy.
Tony's best friend and fellow mobster tucks tail towards the end of season 1 under suspicion of being a "rat" (FBI informant), and it isn't confirmed until the beginning of season 2 that Puss is actually cooperating with the bureau.
The beauty of season 2 is that during its entire run, the audience knows that Puss is an informant, but Tony doesn't (at least not consciously), so the suspense is played with beautifully thought all 13 episodes.
In the penultimate episode of the second season, Tony's biggest thorn, diminutive foil Richie Aprile, becomes compost, so the only problem left on Mr. Soprano's list is what to do about his old pal Pussy.
Though he still isn't sure Puss is a rat at the beginning of "Funhouse," a series of fever dreams brought on by a nasty bout of food poisoning helps his subconscious communicate to his conscious that Big Pussy is, indeed, "wired for sound."
Still feeling the effects of his illness (was it the Indian food, the mussels, or was it all psychosomatic?), Tony, Paulie, and Silvio take Puss on one last boat ride, where they confront him over his disloyalty, then share a final drink before emptying their handguns into their former friend.
It was a shocking bit of television, killing off one of the main characters relatively early into the show's run, and the ending montage after Meadow's graduation is unmatched in any medium.
Season 3: "To Save Us All From Satan's Power"
Ah, you thought I was going to say "Pine Barrens," didn't you?
Yes, for as fun of an episode as Chrissy and Paulie getting lost in the woods is, it's this Christmas-themed one that represents the peak of season 3 for me.
Sticking with the theme of Big Pussy's death, Tony is reminded of his former friend during the first holiday season without him around, given that the man played Santa every year at the Satriale's Christmas Party.
What makes this episode so great, however, is how they use Tony's nostalgia to plant a seed of doubt in both the crew and the viewers: when exactly did Big Pussy flip and become an FBI informant?
The rest of "Satan's Power" features flashbacks to Christmas of 1995 interwoven through present-day action, with Tony and his crew trying to piece together a broken storyline to figure out when it all went wrong for Puss.
The entire episode is equal parts mystery and comedy, highlighted by the Soprano crew trying to find their new "Santa," and the B-plot of Jackie Aprile, the old boss's dimwitted son, continuing to screw up his relationship with Meadow and, by extension, Tony, is deftly worked into the plot.
All of this against the backdrop of the holiday season makes for a phenomenal hour of television, and the flashbacks don't feel hamfisted in the slightest.
"Satan's Power" leaves us with more questions than answers regarding Big Pussy's flip while not confusing the audience too much nor lingering on the issue, and Pussy's flashback quote of wanting to live by the ocean "in another life" hits just as hard every time I re-watch.
Season 4: "Whitecaps"
I really tried not to put another season finale on the list, but the performances in "Whitecaps" made that a nearly impossible task.
While it's not my personal favorite episode from season 4 to rematch, given the heavy and emotional plotlines within it, "Whitecaps" is unquestionably one of the best episodes of the entire series.
What starts as a relatively happy ending to the season – with Tony closing on a house on the Jersey Shore to take his family to on summer vacations – ends up being an emotionally exhausting hour of television when Tony's old goomar (side piece), Irina, calls the Soprano house and tells Carmela all about her old flame's adulterous exploits.
What ensues is an eruption of anger from Carmela, and the rest of the episode features the brutally quick deterioration of a marriage already on shaky ground.
The fight scenes between Tony and Carmela are visceral, and neither of them pulls any punches, with the crescendo occurring when Carmela drops the bomb that she's in love with Tony's former driver/soldier, Furio.
Both Edie Falco and James Gandolfini turn in masterclass performances, and the fights feel so real they can be hard to watch for anyone who grew up in a broken home.
Hell, I had a perfect childhood and two parents who are still happily married to this day, and it's still a hard episode for me to stomach.
Luckily, there is a bit of levity mixed in, as Tony tries to renege on his offer for the Shore house and ends up getting into a humorous Cold War of sorts with the WASP-y realtor, Alan Sappinsly.
The episode ends with Tony sending a few grunts to park his boat in front of Sappinsly's house on the Shore and play Dean Martin albums at max volume throughout the night, eventually getting his money back.
All's well that ends well.
Season 5: "Long Term Parking"
You could make the argument that "Long Term Parking" is even more emotionally gutting than "Whitecaps," and it isn't even a season finale.
Chrissy and his fiancée, Adriana, go through plenty of ups and downs throughout the run of the show.
From Chris's drug addiction to Adriana's IBS – spurred on by her dark secret of being an unwilling FBI informant – the question was more "when" and "how" was it going to end for these two starcrossed lovers, not "if."
That question would be answered in the penultimate episode of season 5, when Adriana finally gets a little too sloppy and the FBI gets tired of her stringing them along.
They want her to testify or spend the next 30 years in jail, but they offer her an out in the form of convincing Chris to flip with her.
After nearly choking her to death upon discovering her involvement with the Burreau, Chris seemingly relents and agrees to turn state's witness with his soon-to-be bride.
However, after he steps out to get cigarettes, Adriana gets a call from Tony claiming Chris tried to kill himself and that Silvio is coming to pick her up to take her to see him at the hospital.
As the two drive down the highway, Silvio pulls off in a wooded area, and at that point Adriana's fate is sealed.
It turns out Chris chose "the family" over his fiancée, and we are left with our mouths agape as Silvio chases Ade off-screen and shoots her dead.
It's a twist anyone should see coming, but David Chase and crew do such a good job of hooking the audience in that you almost believe, even for a split second, that Adriana might get away, or that Chrissy turned his back on his "uncle" Tony.
Even the daydream of Adriana leaving New Jersey in her car for sunny California feels real, only to be jolted back to reality as she and Silvio barrel down the interstate to her inevitable doom.
Of all the deaths in The Sopranos, Adriana's is the most tragic and gutwrenching, and it sets "Long Term Parking" apart from its peers in season 5 as a result.
Season 6A: "Join The Club"/"Mayham"
I know it's a copout, but I couldn't include one of these episodes without the other; they're almost one giant, two-hour special.
Something about The Sopranos that I find fascinating – and this isn't a unique observation – is that it gets exponentially more depressing with each passing season.
The plotlines of season 1 feel quaint compared to the trials and tribulations of season 6.
The beginning of the first half of season 6 is a perfect example, as Tony gets shot by a dementia-adled Uncle Junior in the first episode, and spends the next two episodes in a coma dream where he wrestles with mistaken identity and eventually the prospect of crossing over into the afterlife.
The whole time, Tony's family and friends sit by his side and talk him through his journey, and it is here where "Join The Club" specifically rises above the rest.
Once again, Edie Falco acts circles around everyone else on the show, as Carmela delivers a tearful plea to Tony, begging him to hold on and fight.
While in his medically induced coma, Tony is in some hotel in California for a convention, and the whole dream sequence centers around him losing his wallet and assuming the identity of a man named Kevin Finnerty.
It would take me way too long to explain the whole thing in detail, but suffice to say, Tony's adventures as Kevin Finnerty lead him to a house party with some familiar faces.
A man who looks like his dead cousin, Tony Blundetto (played by Steve Buscemi), asks him to hand over his briefcase and join them inside, with the briefcase representing his worldly possessions.
Ironically enough, as Tony is deciding whether to "join the party" in the afterlife, it is Meadow who wakes him from his coma.
As she calls to him from the land of the living, Tony hears her in the wind from his dream, and he realizes he isn't ready to die yet.
The fact that Chase and the writers decided to put this at the beginning of season 6 was a bold move, considering the fact that this is such a heavy story arc, but it works, and it sets the tone for a final season that leaves no one unscathed.
The Sopranos has a knack for nailing dream sequences, and both "Join The Club" and "Mayhem" are the writers' finest hour in that regard, as every re-watch yields a new detail you might have missed the previous time.
Season 6B: "Kennedy And Heidi"
From the minute he complains about his "arc" back in season 1, we all knew Christopher was a tragically doomed character.
We weren't sure how it was going to happen, be it a drug overdose or mouthing off to the wrong New York mobster, but Christopher Moltisanti was never making it to the end of the show.
What made it more shocking was that it ended up being Tony who delivered the final blow.
If you were paying attention to their relationship over the last couple of seasons, however, it shouldn't have surprised you at all.
While Chrissy spent much of season 6 trying to stay sober, he started to alienate himself from the rest of the main crew, namely Tony.
And when the "Skinny Guinea" relapsed in the previous episode after realizing he's alone in "this thing of ours," Chris had sealed his fate.
Driving on a winding road late at night while high isn't a winning combo, and when Chris flips his SUV with Tony in the passenger seat, the head Soprano realizes once and for all, his "nephew" is a lost cause.
As Chris begs Tony not to call an ambulance, admitting that he would "never pass a drug test," Tony decides to take matters into his own hands, suffocating a badly wounded Christopher.
It only helped him make the decision when Tony looked in the backseat and saw a tree branch impaling a car seat meant for Christopher's young daughter.
The rest of the episode explores Tony's "grieving process," in which he all but admits he killed Chris and is happy he's dead, sighting his drug addiction and the fact that he was a danger to himself and others.
The episode culminates in Tony going on a peyote-fueled binge in Vegas and putting his lingering guilt behind him.
Since he killed his friend, Pussy, all the way back in season 2, Tony had been on a downward spiral into the miserable, psychopathic shell we see in season 6, and this episode represents the culmination of that downfall.
Every episode after this one is just Tony surviving and existing. The man we knew back in the early seasons of the show is completely gone the minute he decides to plug Christopher's nose and end his life.
Season 6 is dark, and in my opinion, "Kennedy And Heidi" snuffs out the last little light that existed in The Sopranos just three episodes before its end.