Beefy Disney Waterslide Rider Is Suing For A Shockingly Low Number After Serious Injuries: Lawsuit

Sir, you're literally suing for like two trips to Disney World. 

In a wild lawsuit filed last week against the Mickey Mouse operation out of Orlando, a Disney guest, who says he sustained "serious injuries" on a waterside, is suing for more than $50,000 on top of attorney fees. 

Eugene Strickland, who says he weighed in at an approximate weight of 334 pounds in 2021 when he went down the Double Dipper, claims to have gone "airborne" due to the rides' "exhilarating speeds" which "disloged" Strickland from the tube he was sitting on and caused the man to land on the slide and suffer "catastrophic injuries" due to the mass meeting an immovable object. 

Eugene, I'm no lawyer, but you're allowed to sue Disney for like $275,000 and negotiate it down to $200k. 

Disney's Blizzard Beach has a a variety of waterslides for all ages. Eve Chen / USA TODAY NETWORK via Imagn Images

Even if you do get the $50k, which Disney should've paid you just to go away before this case got on the Internet, the IRS is going to hammer you. By the time the government gets done, you're going to have like $27,500 for your pain and suffering. 

"On or about July 31, 2021, Plantiff weighed approximately 334 lbs., exceeding ASTM's maximum allowable weight for single rider water slides by 34 lbs.," Strickland's lawsuit states. 

One thing leads to another, allegedly, the rider goes flying and we have ourselves a lawsuit. 

Strickland's legal team contends he "suffered serious bodily injury and resulting pain and suffering, disability, scarring, disfigurement, mental anguish, loss of capacity for the enjoyment of life. 

"These injuries are permanent" and Strickland "will suffer these losses in the future," the lawsuit reads. 

Whew. 

Look, this is where you need a bulldog lawyer who will do his/her best to get more than $50,000 out of Disney CEO Bob Iger's pocket. 

Have you seen what it costs to stay inside the Disney park boundaries lately? The Four Seasons will run you like $1,300 a night. 

That $50k won't last long at those prices.