America Has Lost Its Damn Mind: High School Kids Lick Peanut Butter Off Toes For Fundraiser
At this point, I could make the stupidity of fundraising one of my main beats here at OutKick where I've taken on scumbags like Alyssa Milano and the suburban moms – and dads – who insist on not paying for their own travel ball vacations.
Now comes a story out of Oklahoma where high school students decided to raise money for a coffee shop by applying peanut butter to their toes and having fellow students lick off the peanut butter – for charity.
And school administrators were like, hell yeah, this sounds like an awesome idea. Or something like that because they didn't stop the toe-licking.
MAGA lost its damn mind over the toe-licking for obvious reasons. If you thought that gay and lesbian book war was something, toe licking at an assembly is like squirting fuel on the fire.
The lib libs told everyone to calm down because the money went to this coffee shop that hires handicapped workers and gives them a place to work and that there's nothing wrong with licking toes because they're weirdo scumbags.
And here I am pleading with the morons of this country to stop it with the fundraising antics that are a complete nuisance. Let's stop and think back to World War II and how America funded a war machine. Did we lick peanut butter off toes for the troops? Did we start GoFundMe for the boys to play a nine-inning baseball game in Cooperstown before being shipped off to the front lines in Germany? Did our grandparents sell Super Bowl squares to fund trips to Woodstock?
America has lost its damn mind and fundraising stupidity is a conversation we better start having or licking peanut butter off toes for charity will seem tame in six months.
According to Fox25 in Oklahoma City, the students in the Deer Creek School District pledged to raise money for Not Your Average Joe Coffee, a company that employs people with intellectual, developmental and physical disabilities.
Ok, cool. Let's raise a few dollars for this place. How are we going to do it?
Sell Super Bowl squares?
Beg?
No, stupid. Get a jar of Jif. I'll explain.
Fox25 reports the district held an assembly called "Clash of Classes" where students paid to attend. The money raised during the week – $152,830.38 – went to the coffee shop.
The school, when given the chance to respond to the toe-licking used to earn some of that money, went silent, but Oklahoma State Superintendent Ryan Walters had something to say. "This is disgusting. We are cleaning up this filth in Oklahoma schools. Our agency is investigating," Walters wrote on Twitter.
To recap:
1. Students came up with a peanut butter toe-licking bit to fire up fellow students. They pull out jars of peanut butter. Apply the peanut butter. Fellow students get on the floor of the gym in a licking position.
2. Not one administrator steps forward and tells them to immediately stop. And as I write this, it hasn't been reported that any administrators have stepped forward to say they had a problem with it but that they were overruled by some weirdo administrator.
3. The school brags about how much money students raised for a coffee shop.
Conclusion:
It's time to bring back candy bar fundraisers.