Alina Fernandez The Figure Skater Is Back, AI Predicts What A Lions Super Bowl Win Would Look, Plus Bama & The Soviet Union Parallels
I don't know who the Kelce brothers hired as their marketing reps, but that team better be making huge money
Please remember that some agency out there saw the success that the Manning brothers were having and talked the Kelce brothers into starting their own media company. This is all scripted. Every single bit of it and I wouldn't be shocked if Disney executives have cooked up all of it.
Notice the brands that have aligned here. Pfizer. Bud Light. ESPN. Taylor Swift.
It's all cooked up.
The executives build up the Kelce brand so the brothers can do a Kelce-cast for Amazon or Apple TV+ here in a couple of years. Taylor Swift builds her brand & keeps the buzz going right into her movie that hit theaters last week. Bud Light gets the marketing out of this with the safe-for-work Kelce brothers who are a safe masculine play because they won't say anything political or against Mulvaney. Pfizer sells a few shots.
Cooked up, I tell you. Every single second of it. Yes, I said early on this is good for the Internet business and I'll stand by it. But I also need you guys to know this is how sports entertainment works.
This is how the bread is buttered. I know you guys are smart enough to have already sniffed this out.
• David in Illinois writes:
Maybe nobody cares about such things anymore, but it appears Jason Kelce was enjoying a 12oz helping of gender fluid (see what I did there?) at the Phillies game Monday night. The attached pic is a screenshot from the eastern seaboard publicity network’s website.
• David adds:
Oh snap. The video on the MLB website shows Travis sucking on a blue can of disgust, as well. Someone needs to remind these boys this isn’t acceptable. Swiftly.
Kinsey:
As I noted, when you're sponsored by Bud Light, you drink Bud Light. The Kelce brothers are #sponsored. Bud Light has pinned its comeback hopes on the brothers.
Astros and Terann Hilow appreciation
• Wyn in Colorado writes:
Unlike Tim B., I unfortunately didn’t bail on my Buffs against Stanford. Got home at 2am after that debacle. I can’t remember kicking myself over the fact I missed a great ending. I’ve got a rule that I won’t leave early unless the score is out of reach with 2 min left in any sport.
Also, I’m not a Stros fan at all but I love the Bea Caroline and yesterday’s Terann Hilow content. Terann paved the way for beautiful Astros fans so that rising stars like Bea could work their way into the organization. Long-time fans of SC’s will remember Terann from years past. I’ll still contend that when you release an Insta models bracket that one region be named after Terann.
Kinsey:
The oldest of old-school Screencaps readers will remember that Terann Hilow is the Houston-based Instagram model who made custom Busted Coverage bikinis and wore them for content shoots during my previous Internet life. We're talking 2014.
If I remember correctly, Terann and her mom would print out logos on the bikini tops, cut them out, string them, and then mom would shoot the photos of her daughter. What memories!
Homemade gutter cleaning tools
• Brian in Madison, CT writes:
Saw your 8-iron gutter cleaning comment on Saturday. My house is a tri-level so it has six gutters to maintain. I have tried various gutter guards but have not been happy with the results, so I am waiting to replace the gutters when the siding is replaced.
In the meantime, I took a metal coat hanger and a scrap piece of wood to create my own cleaning accessory. Similar in concept to your 8-iron extension, but the hooked end allows me to hook it to the gutter (and ladder) when moving the ladder, freeing up my hands. The flexible end allows me to also adjust the hook size and angle.
Halloween costumes of the past that were hits
• Herb in Roswell, GA writes:
So years ago three of us forever guy friends lived together after college. We were all invited to a Halloween costume party. A lot of beer was consumed in this period and let’s just say that it did not always sit so well with one of the guys. He hit the can a lot. Like half a dozen times a day and at all times and places.
Hence, the other buddy and I got two large cardboard boxes. We glued them together, added vents, a door, and horrible light blue paint on the outside. The inside had a spot at the back of the box where you could stand and in front of that was the “seat”. The final touch was putting his name on the outside along with his cell #.
So, yep, I went as a porta potty to honor, errrrrrr, poke fun at a best friend and roommate. Miss those days!
• Seth writes:
I was the Jewish space laser.
New topic: Diaper parties
• Camden in Burleson, TX writes:
Okay, so I have a new subject for the screencaps community. Diaper Showers.
I hate the idea of a diaper shower. I hate a couples' shower for the record. I don’t think showers are for men. I was forced to have both but I protested the entire time. We did get a ton of diapers and made it probably 6-9 months on free diapers. Diapers are expensive.
So is it okay for a diaper shower, or should showers only be for women?
Kinsey:
I get where Camden is coming from here. Yes, it's OK to have a diaper shower for guys, but I feel like it needs to be less Pinterest and more of the guys scheduling a night to get together. The dad-to-be should be in charge of cooking up a bunch of meat. He backs up the Dodge Ram near the grill and when the fellas stop over, they throw the Huggies into the bed of the truck, and then all attention turns to "Whatcha cookin'?"
BOOM, the ice is broken, the diaper part is over and there was even a manly toss of the diapers into the back of the truck.
The problem with these diaper parties, and I assume this is what Camden was feeling, is that the women have turned this stuff into a content-generating event and it makes guys squirm. The cupcakes have little blue or pink decorations so they'll look amazing on Instagram. Women are dressed up like they're going to Coachella for Babies. 99% of the suburbanite women are wearing the goofy Coachella hats so they'll look amazing for the Instagram content.
Ladies, that's why the men are rebelling against these parties. You've over-content'd the events. You've gone out of your Pinterest minds.
Conclusion: Ladies, have your diaper parties. Party it up. Let us be. Give your husbands or slam-piece baby daddies a chance to breathe. Tell him to go off and cook a brisket for the boys and collect a few diapers in the Dodge Ram. He'll be fine with that idea.
Crosby, North Dakota checks in
• Dillon, from the Crosby crew, writes:
We are in peak fall season (Fall usually lasts about 9 days around here.) Our town puts together an annual event called "Burgers n Brews". It is a pretty fun competition of who makes the best/most unique burger and on the other side is a homemade beer competition with live music for entertainment. I partnered with TNML member Nate for a damn good burger.
You can see our description of the burger in the pictures, so good that we ran out within about an hour and a half. Unfortunately, the powers that be placed us in 2nd. It's us against the world I guess.
On a separate note... our friends come up with ridiculous hypotheticals, top 5s, etc. We have been putting together a comprehensive list of the greatest jersey numbers of all time. (throughout all sports)
I figured the Caps community would have an opinion on this. We came up with #34 as champion with Shaq, Bo Jackson, Giannis, Barkley, Paul Pierce, Hakeem, Ray Allen, Nolan Ryan, David Ortiz, etc. Thoughts?
Kinsey:
I'm taking jersey #12. I get the following athletes:
Tom Brady
Roger Staubach
Terry Bradshaw
John Stockton
Michael Jordan
Jarome Iginla
Roberto Alomar
Why are football offenses all the same?
• Zach W. writes:
Why do you think most offenses in college football and the NFL are the same these days? It seems nearly everybody employs the shotgun-run/pass option anymore.
Kinsey:
That's a great question for the football experts around here, not me.
On decluttering and weather gear
• Kristopher K. in Manchester, NH writes:
Been a while. Nonetheless, know that I’m with you & SCREENCAPS Nation every day. You touched on a couple of things this morning I’m passionate about – decluttering and extreme weather wear.
You say you moved stuff that will sit up in your attic for a decade? Say it ain’t so. I am the poster boy of OCD and have two rules of home storage. 1) If no one in the house touches a seasonal item for two years – it’s sold or donated. 2) Non-seasonal items untouched for 18 months – again sold or donated. Maybe you’re like me where your Bride holds everything ever purchased near & dear. If so, be strong. You CAN break that habit over time.
My girl used to vibrate if she saw two+ square feet of empty flat surface anywhere in the house. You can only imagine the mountain of crap we had accumulated in the first years of our marriage. It took a while but now we spend our hard-earned moolah on EXPERIENCES (travel/nights out/day trips) rather than impulse purchases. We’ve found experiences provide a way better dopamine high than the accumulation of stuff. Frank Zappa said it best. When asked what he believed the greatest disease in America was; he quipped nostalgia for things. True that. I miss him.
Weather wear – I like to play outdoors all year and am a yuge fan of warm and dry. New Hampshire (AKA Ice Station Zebra), like the Northern Midwest, can be a beast with hard cold summer rain & heavy winter snow.
I pay attention to brands selling clothing to LEAF Personnel (Law Enforcement/Armed Forces). That stuff is battle-tested in all the elements – if it doesn’t perform, they don’t buy it. I buy the civilian versions from these brands made from the same materials.
Pricey?
You bet; but you get what you pay for. You can’t get six+ hours of hiking/skiing/etc. with your kids when it’s snowing at elevation and raining at base if they cannot remain warm and dry. A worthy sacrifice to prevent the whine.
Have you guys been noticing a sudden uptick in Happy Hour specials?
Maybe it's just me and this area of Ohio, but all of a sudden, I'm seeing more and more legitimate price specials at restaurants I wasn't seeing 6-8 months ago. Maybe Gen Z and the Millennials really have reached their budget-breaking points.
What about you Baby Boomers? Have you stopped going out to eat 4-5 times a week?
And with that, you should have plenty to think about during this mid-October Tuesday.
It just feels like the type of night where we'll sit down, have a nice family dinner at home, talk about life, light a candle and have a calm night.
Just kidding, I'm expecting chaos because it's a night when we don't have anything going on. Isn't that how it always works? My head is on a swivel. Something will break in the house.
Take care. Have an incredible day.
Email: joekinsey@gmail.com