Afghanistan Gets Into Tourism Industry, Releases A Wild Fake Hostage Video To Drum Up Business
The Taliban even have a golf course, but there aren't ladies' tees
Are you tired of trips to Gatlinburg? How about packing your bags for a 10-night trip to Afghanistan this fall?
In a wild twist that nobody saw coming just a couple of years after men tried to hang off the side of the last U.S. military plane to leave the war-ravaged hellscape, Afghanistan wants your tourist dollar.
Seriously.
And they're even releasing fake hostage videos to grab your attention like Pure Michigan commercials. This one with some seriously dark humor is currently making the rounds:
Instead of chopping off heads of invaders, the Afghans want you to come see all that the country has to offer.
Seriously!
In late June, the Associated Press reported on how the Taliban believes tourism is the answer to the country's financial woes. "We are currently earning a considerable amount of revenue from this industry, and we are hopeful it will grow even more in the future," a Taliban official told the AP. "We are optimistic this sector will evolve into a large economy, bringing significant benefits. It plays an important role in strengthening our national economy."
Does this mean suburban moms should be booking an all-inclusive to stay at a Kabul two-star?
No.
OutKick is advising suburban moms to stick with Savannah & ragers on Marco Island. The Taliban is still treating women like trash.
"Those who respect our laws and traditions have already come and can continue to come," the Taliban tourism official added.
Now, if you're like one of the female CNN wokes, maybe you'll enjoy not showing a centimeter of skin.
How much does an Afghanistan vacation cost? What does an Afghanistan vacation look like?
Tourism site Rocky Road Travel offers a 10-day trip in October for $3,190 (includes food and drinks) that kicks off in Kabul, yep, where 13 members of the U.S. military died via suicide bomber in 2021 as troops were withdrawing.
After arriving, travelers are taken to a local tailor to "choose an outfit" to wear on the trip that includes stops in Bamyan, Herat, Helmand, Kandahar, and Ghazni.
At one of the stops, tour organizers promise to show travelers ex-Soviet tanks that are now a tourist attraction. The trip also makes a stop to visit a man who is believed to be the final living box photographer in Afghanistan.
I know what you're thinking: Are there golf courses in Afghanistan?
Yes, there's one.
The 9-hole Kabul Golf Club sits about seven miles from the heart of downtown Kabul. "Bring your clubs and AK-47," the Christian Science Monitor wrote about the golf course in 2010.
At the time, the course didn't feature grass and the greens were described as "hard-packed brown sand, laced with oil and swept clean to keep the putting surface smooth."
Ah, but times have changed. Remember, the Taliban wants to attract tourists. Here's what the course looked like in 2023.
Grass!
The fairways at the Kabul Golf Club are better than some dog tracks in the United States. (Photo by Wakil KOHSAR / AFP) (Photo by WAKIL KOHSAR/AFP via Getty Images)
A golfer tests out the greens at the Kabul Golf Club in 2023. (Photo by Wakil KOHSAR / AFP) (Photo by WAKIL KOHSAR/AFP via Getty Images)
Don't bank on the 19th hole at the Kabul Golf Club to have Budweiser on tap. (Photo by Wakil KOHSAR / AFP) (Photo by WAKIL KOHSAR/AFP via Getty Images)
How are the hotels in Kabul?
Well…let's just say you might want to call ahead to make sure the place hasn't been taken over by the Taliban. That's what happened back in Feburary at the Serena Hotel, which is billed as Afghanistan's only luxury hotel.
"It was not for common people like us. It was for foreigners and some rich people. You had to pay dollars to get a meal in the hotel. It doesn’t really mean anything for us if it’s closing or its management is being charged. It never belonged to us," an Afghan told the Arab News.
How's the food in Kabul?
Sonny, an expat living in Vietnam who runs the Best Ever Food Review Show on YouTube, recently went to Afghanistan to do food reviews.
Let's just say Sonny is lucky to be alive after some of the stuff he ate.