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Two female University of Utah fans are under investigation for having possibly entered the school’s football stadium topless.
The two women are alleged to have entered the stadium wearing nothing but bodypaint covering their torso.
Somehow stadium security — who can miraculously use their metal detector to find a spent gum wrapper in your back pocket — missed these two gals.
They were either donning the greatest body paint ever or security let that one pass the goalkeeper, intentionally or not.
From the sound of it, no one in Rice-Eccles Stadium paid them any mind until a Melea Johnson spotted them. She then posted the story to her Instagram account (which is private).
Johnson attended the game with her husband and two children who she said also saw the body-painted lasses.
“I was so concerned about shielding my children from seeing that because there were only a few people in front of us. My husband and I saw the backs of them immediately and saw they weren’t wearing anything, and we went into panic mode as parents,” Johnson told ABC4.
The University of Utah says that an officer told the women to put shirts on and they did.
It seems like that should have been the end of it. However, police are still looking to speak with the women about what happened last weekend.
The Mystery Of The Topless Utes Fans Deepens
There are some discrepancies between what Johnson says she saw and what others say they saw, and it all comes down to nipples.
Put on your Sherlock Holmes hats, folks.
According to ABC4, Johnson claimed to have seen a side view of one of the women’s nipples.
However, *puffs on pipe*, other spectators observed something quite the contrary. That there were no nipples at all, as the women were wandering around the stadium wearing pasties.
It seems unlikely that these women would alternate between pasties and going au natural. So then what is the truth? This is extremely important. Why? because Utah has very specific lewdness laws.
Did The Women Run Afoul Of Utah’s Lewdness Statute?
Johnson claimed that these women were breaking the state’s lewdness statute because her kids saw these women.
Utah Code 76-9-702, Section 1b. says that anyone who “exposes his or her genitals, the female breast below the top of the areola, the buttocks, the anus, or the pubic area” can be hit with a Class B misdemeanor.
There’s a little room for interpretation. The women would probably argue that if they had pasties on that obscured the top of their areolas down, then what’s the problem?
Johnson would probably say that they were technically exposing their breasts below the areola regardless of pasties.
Salt Lake City TV station KUTV asked former police officer Chris Burbank about whether or not the women broke that statute.
“Certainly it meets the requirements in the statute, however, as a police chief, and one has worked across the country to resolve the problem facing policing today, this is not a policing issue. Right? We should not be the moral police,” he said.
Burbank said that the case should be closed since the women threw some shirts on when asked.
“They were asked, they complied, the situation was over and done with.”
Follow on Twitter: @Matt_Reigle