Florida man Michael Phillips, 20, had the perfect response when the Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office asked him about the hard bulge in his pants as the 5-0 investigated a possible stolen car that he was riding in. “That’s my dick,” Phillips told police, according to a report obtained by The Smoking Gun.
The cops did some further digging and found that Phillips had a Glock 23 with 22 rounds shoved down there with his dick. As TSG notes, that Glock checks in at a respectable 7.36 inches.
Phillips told cops the gun is “for protection,” and he appeared to be ready to protect himself as he had another clip loaded with 23 rounds in case things got crazy as he cruised around with 18-year-old Kyleigh Lynn Bartley, 19, who was arrested for grand theft auto.
Phillips was taken to jail on a felony concealed firearm charge and was released.
Now, if you think this is the first “that’s my dick” defense from a Florida man during the Internet era, you’d be wrong and should know better. A Florida man attorney was arrested in 2015 for trying to get a snub-nosed revolver loaded with five hollow-point bullets past Disney World security by joking that it was part of his junk.
Andrew Gerson told cops he had a concealed carry permit, so they checked his claim and it turned out the permit had expired 10 years prior.
And in 2018, a Florida man told cops, “That’s what she said,” when cops asked him about a “long cylindrical object” in his pants. It turned out to be a tube filled with weed and a pipe.