Congratulations to Bryson DeChambeau on winning the 120th U.S. Open. He’s a worthy champion and a popular one after his dominant win allowed most fans to change the channel early and follow their fantasy football team instead. On a personal note, Bryson followed up Saturday’s round by hitting balls on the range well into the night and then didn’t thank the pro shop staff after his victory. I speak for club pros nationwide when I say Bryson can kiss my ass.
Whether you realize it or not, what happened yesterday was a game-changer. DeChambeau is about to win a shitload of majors. I know you don’t like him and neither do I. But wins are about to come in bunches and I think it’s great for the game. It’s a lot more fun to watch these tournaments when you can not only root for your favorite players like Tiger and Rory, but when you can also root against guys you hate like Bryson and Patrick Reed. I think with so much great young talent, we are looking at the dawn of a great new era in golf.
Winged Foot Odds and Ends
How do I explain Collin Morikawa’s missed cut after winning the PGA Championship? Easy, it’s the burden of high expectations. I once had a T63 in a no-cut event followed by a 44th place finish 7 days later. Translation: I was on a major heater. The next week at the Matamoros Four-Ball my expectations couldn’t have been higher. Guess what, I finished dead last and didn’t make another cut for 17 straight months. Will Morikawa learn from this experience or will I be showing him how to stock the soda machine two years from now? Time will tell.
On the very first hole of the final round, Harris English pulled a ball into the rough where the gallery would normally be standing. Unfortunately the ball wasn’t found and he had to take a two shot penalty. This is why I created the “gallery rule.” Any time I lose a ball in an area where a gallery would normally be standing I drop one. No penalty. Now I’m just waiting for the USGA to catch up and also make this change.
Both Matt Wolff and Bryson DeChambeau are coached by guys who cut their teeth teaching on a daily fee course with artificial mats. Club pros – we get the job done.
I’ve always heard Danny Lee was what we call a “pro’s pro,” and his actions on Saturday backed it up. He pipes a drive on 18, finishes with a six-putt and immediately withdraws with a mysterious “wrist injury.” He said fuck the $18K for 57th place and was sitting on a NetJet by the time the leaders made the turn. Respect!
One more thing, I don’t blame Danny Lee for being pissed. He put a really nice roll on his first, third, fourth and sixth putts.
As my 7-4-7 Swing Thought System proves, I’m a very savvy marketer. Here’s a little free advice for Matt Wolff — I’d like to see him punctuate every birdie putt by howling like a wolf. Just watch the big endorsements roll in. You’re welcome, Matt.
I heard a lot of whining on social media about how big chunks of the U.S. Open were being broadcast exclusively on the Peacock app. As a guy who’s only chance to see any of the action came while taking a shit in the ladies locker room and watching on my iPhone I say, “Thank you!”
Last Wednesday I put a C-note on Patrick Reed at 40-1 and he immediately took a lead into the weekend. Feeling confident, I spent a nice chunk of my future winnings at Bottoms Up on Friday night to celebrate. Right on cue, Reed went out and shit the bed Saturday afternoon with a back-nine 43 to fall out of contention. For a little perspective, Cathy Spunt shot a 43 in Thursday Night Men’s League last week. That guy is dead to me.
And lastly, I’m still scratching my head at Phil Mickelson’s decision to play the U.S. Open instead of the Champions Tour event at Pebble Beach (where he’s won five times). Did he have any chance of competing at Winged Foot? No. Would he have boat-raced the competition at Pebble? Without question.
Next Up: Augusta National!