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Are you a middle-aged dad just skating by in life thinking a midlife crisis is in the cards? Are you a divorced dad looking to make a statement to all the divorced women in your suburban town? You need to set an alert for the upcoming Mad Max: Fury Road car auction that’s set to begin on September 25 via the Lloyds Classic Car auction in Australia.
Now I know exactly what you’re thinking: How am I going to get one of these statement pieces back to the U.S. in time to show it off before cuffing season ends? This is big boy stuff. I’m sure you can have one of these beasts flown via FedEx across the Pacific Ocean. If you want to sit at the big boy’s table, you have to be prepared to tell Fed Ex to box it up and have it to your door by Halloween.
From the auction site:
Available for expressions of Madness is a Museum of Modern Masterpieces, these vehicles are survivors of the apocalypse that was the filming of FURY ROAD. Blown, super-turbo charged and armed to the teeth with weaponry and War Boys, the machines that outran the end of civilisation have been unearthed in the greatest barn-find ever recorded. Nitrous, noxious, and no-nonsense harbingers of hell, marking man’s uncanny ability to wring beauty even from that designed for death and destruction, art from power, meaning from machine.
1. THE WAR RIG: PRIME MOVER INC. TANKER AND BALL PIG-TRAILER
2. THE GIGAHORSE: W16 CADILLAC PAIR
3. THE DOOF WAGON
4. NUX CAR: 1932 THREE WINDOW CHEV COUPE, V8
5. CONVOY CAR: ELVIS
6. CONVOY CAR: JAG FLAMER
7. RAZOR COLA: 1973 XB FALCON COUPE (THE INTERCEPTOR REBORN)
8. POLE CAR: PONTIAC SURFARI WITH 20’ POLE COUNTERWEIGHT
9. SABRE TOOTH: F250 CLAW CAR
10. FIRE CAR: DODGE
11. CALTROP: EL DORADO
12. BUGGY: RATROD CHEV
13. BUICK: HEAVY ARTILLERY WITH HUMMER WEAPON MOUNT
Now, sit there and imagine the chaos you’d cause in your five-star suburban neighborhood while out on a Starbucks run if you rolled down the road in one of these beasts. The divorced Beths & Amandas who’ve been looking to jump over to the bad girl side of life will be beating down the door of your Buick with heavy artillery to get a ride to the outdoor mall made to look like 1950s small-town USA where you two will split a plate of nachos at Bar Louie.
I’m telling you guys, this auction is the key to a new life. Take my word for it.