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Browns Made Big Ben Cry And Now They’re Gonna Beat The ‘Chefs’

Are you ready for another upset in the NFL playoffs? Good, because one is on the way, and it’s going to result in a new Super Bowl champion.

That’s right, the Kansas City Chiefs are going down. Sunday, at home, vs. the Cleveland Browns. Yes, the Browns, once the laughingstock of the NFL … are going to beat the Chiefs … in KC. Actually, the Browns weren’t once the laughingstock. They were pretty much still considered a joke until last week.

Then they went to Pittsburgh and rocked Big Ben Roethlisberger and the Steelers in the first round. Just humiliated them.

I don’t care that Pittsburgh kinda sorta came back. Give me a break. They weren’t coming back. They were down 28-0 at the end of the first quarter. The Browns were just toying with them after that. This was an utter demolition and the Steelers are about to be on the other side of this rivalry for quite some time.

I mean, dude, the Browns made Big Ben cry. We have photo evidence. Think about that for a minute.

Anyway, on to the Chefs. Yes, I spelled their nickname wrong on purpose. Not because I have an issue with “Chiefs” or to show the defending Super Bowl champs any sort of disrespect. Nothing like that.

But who can forget the Snickers commercial where the worker paints the nickname wrong in the end zone? I sure can’t. That said, it was 24 years ago now, so I put the video directly below.

So, why do I think the Browns can win? Well, I think the snap over Roethlisberger’s head … on the first play from scrimmage in the Browns’ first playoff appearance in 17 years … resulting in a Browns touchdown before the announcers had even cleared their throats … was a sign.

It meant the Browns are a Team of Destiny. It meant there is more at work here than just QB Baker Mayfield, running backs Nick Chubb and Kareem Hunt, wide receiver Jarvis Landry, pass rusher Myles Garrett and first-year coach Kevin Stefanski.

It meant that after years of punishing the Browns for not giving former owner Art Modell a new stadium back in 1994 (and Modell responding by sneaking the Browns off to Baltimore in the middle of the night), God has forgiven them.

Honest. I pray a lot. I have a lot of faith. I’ve read the Bible multiple times — all the way through. And I’m pretty sure it says something about how the Browns will have to suffer for “21 years of expansion” before finding “the promised land.” It’s in there somewhere. Just in Hebrew. You have to parse it out.

This is nothing against the Chiefs. Unlike the Steelers, they are a great team that will be around for a while. I can’t get enough of watching QB Patrick Mahomes. Receiver Tyreek Hill is one of my all-time favorites. Andy Reid is America’s Coach.

But the Chiefs are running into a buzz saw. A locomotive of a football train that can’t be derailed. (I had to throw in one more cliche, because if you’ve made it this far you deserve some kind of prize). The Chiefs are more talented and more experienced in these situations. That is not up for debate.

But clearly, the Browns have the good lord on their side these days. The Chiefs aren’t better at football than God.

Bottom line: We will have a new Super Bowl champion this year and the Cleveland Browns are about to be responsible for that. Won’t that just be too cool?

Written by Sam Amico

13 Comments

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  1. That would be great! I’ve seen flashes from the Browns where they play like the best team in the league. And everyone knows it’s damn near impossible to repeat, just too many things working against you.

    With the Colts out I’m throwing my hat in with Baker/Stefanski/Garrett and company. They are easily the most fun team to watch.

          • Chiefs fans are great, been there to see it for myself, but ya’ll are tripping if you think the Browns fans don’t have it worse than most. Their team packed up and moved to Baltimore, they’ve never won a SB, barely won a playoff game in 3 decades. I don’t believe in curses either, but to support their team as forcefully as they have over the years despite the garbage product on the field is impressive. They deserve it, and I believe this may be there time.

  2. Prediction…KC goes down by 21 in the first half…scores something like 24-27 points in the 3rd quarter…wins the game in the 4th by a score of 34-31. Joe Kinsey says something about how vulnerable the Chiefs are for barely winning again.

  3. Shew. I love your tongue-in-cheek article, but the Browns had nothing to do with the first Steeler’s snap. As soon as that happened, I said, this will be a repeat of the Bronco’s Super Bowl game where the first snap went right over Peyton’s head. What a horrible game that became.

    As for winning at Arrowhead? Nope. We are rested up and ready to roar. But never fear. Lesser men than you have misread scripture 😉

  4. Meh, it’s not impossible. Cleveland has the RBs and TEs who can create havoc against KC’s defense. The problem is that KC almost certainly will start Quarter 4 either leading or within striking distance. At that point, Mahomes takes over.

    Chubb + Hunt need to combine for 150ish. Austin Hooper needs a career game. Either Denzel Ward or team effort to contain Tyreek Hill (Kelce bad matchup for Browns). And maybe if Andy Reid abandons the ground game like he has so often in past playoff games, then Myles Garrett can pin back and make a special play late.

    That said, I thought many of the same things when Titans played Chiefs during last year’s AFCC.

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