Brittney Griner Named Honorary All-Star Game Starter

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Wasn’t too long ago when Brittney Griner said the WNBA should stop playing the National Anthem before games, now she’s rotting away in a Russian jail cell because she traveled with a weed pen. WNBA commisioner Cathy Engelbert is now planning to honor Griner by naming her an honorary All-Star Game starter. How sweet is that?

It’s ridiculous she’s still in prison, given the fact everyone she would’ve voted for left her high and dry in Russia, but now she has to live with what we tried explaining to her during the 2020 election:

Gestures are just, well, gestures. Leagues like the WNBA are only interested in slogans and hashtags to seem like they care — none of her perceieved “allies” actually care she’s in jail. They’re only invested in alerting their followers they’re upset about it.

We told ya, Brittney.

“During each season of Brittney’s career in which there has been an All-Star Game, she has been selected as an All-Star,” Engelbert said. “It is not difficult to imagine that if BG were here with us this season, she would once again be selected and would, no doubt, show off her incredible talents. So, it is only fitting that she be named as an honorary starter today and we continue to work on her safe return to the U.S.”

Imagine LeBron James was sitting in North Korea right now and NBA commissioner Adam Silver named the future Hall of Famer to the All-Star team. People that actually care about LeBron’s well-being wouldn’t care about gestures like this — they’d demand higher-ups like President Joe Biden to step up and bring him home. President Donald Trump was asked to do exactly that when rapper A$AP Rocky was placed under arrest in a Swedish jail following a fight in 2019.

Websites like Vanity fair wrote hit pieces following Rocky’s release saying “Trump resumed his dad jokes following his release,” to suggest Trump was only working to release the rapper as a side show. Unfortunately for Brittney Griner, President Joe Biden isn’t even interested in her arrest enough to make a spectacle of it. Her supporters have started all types of fundraisers and petitions to raise awareness, yet Biden hasn’t lifted a finger. Wonder why?

We never want to wish our political opposition risk of harm or unjust arrest, but we absolutely will mention we told them so. When you vote to unseat Donald Trump, who provided the United States with more freedom and protection than they’ve ever had to replace him with an 80-year-old vegetable that occasionally licks ice cream and falls off bikes, this is what happens. Karma comes knocking at your door and you’re stranded in a country with politics you supported.

Written by Gary Sheffield, Jr

Gary Sheffield Jr is the son of should-be MLB Hall of Famer, Gary Sheffield. He covers basketball and baseball for, chats with the Purple and Gold faithful on LakersNation, and shitposts on Twitter. You can follow him at GarySheffieldJr


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  1. I don’t know why “The Biden Administration” has not responded to pressure from their puppetmasters with BLM and LGBTQ to “go get Brittant Griner” …….. but I am certain that “Ol’ Joe” AKA “Brandon” has absolutely nothing to do with that decision …. or any other decisions from The White House.
    “Joe/Brandon” is still what he has been from Day One …. “a sock puppet” …. “The White House lawn jockey”.

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