British Man Transitions From White To Korean After 18 Plastic Surgeries

If living in Los Angeles has taught me anything, it’s that claiming you’re marginalized and whipping up some tears for your iPhone camera is basically an Ivy League degree at this point. The more insufferable and detached from reality you are, the better positioned you are for viral success. Social media buffoons are constantly one-upping each other with narratives and sob stories, jostling for pole position in the race to the bottom, as if misunderstood and miserable were admirable states of being.

And that’s why we need to stop and recognize this British man, Oli London, who is taking the victim industry to new heights with his series of transracial surgeries. So far he has changed his bone structure, eyes, and teeth in order to look more like K-POP artists BTS (that’s a boy band, FYI; don’t bother Googling). He claims to be a Korean person stuck in a British man’s body, so I assume he’s salting in a dash of gender transitioning to go with his own personal ethnic cleansing. Groundbreaking stuff, if true.

My questions: Is becoming a different race through surgery the PhD program of the victimization industry? Is Oli now the highest ranking wokester in the entire victim army? Are we witnessing the rise of Darth Hater, the supreme leader of self-loathing and body dysmorphia?

This sort of behavior really is satire come to life.

It’s the reason South Park can barely even keep up with culture these days—no joke is extreme enough to make fun of the truth anymore.

(Photo by Getty Images)

My original plan for this blog was to announce my decision to identify as a ham sandwich (mostly because of my affinity for classic rock), but even that joke didn’t seem as ridiculous as buying a new face from the Korean meat market.

So, I’ll just leave you with this instead: don't try to become your favorite foods, or races, just enjoy them. Embrace what you were born with, and celebrate this life for what it is, instead of lamenting what it isn’t. Eventually, like a black hole in a galaxy far, far away, wokeness is going to collapse in on itself, leaving a lot of professional circus acts holding the bag.