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A&W Root Beer is drinking the Kool-Aid. Fearing they’d lose ground in the race to be the wokest brand in America, the restaurant announced that their mascot, Rooty the Great Root Bear, will start wearing pants for the first time in 60 years.
The tens of you out there who have been campaigning for Rooty to quit showing off his stems can finally get some sleep. Despite living in Biden’s America, A&W’s mascot was somehow able to scrap together enough to coin to get himself some jeans.
Now that he’s denim’d up, he won’t be so polarizing. At least that’s the opinion of the restaurant chain.
A&W Said ‘Mascot’s Lack Of Pants Can Be Polarizing’
Rooty’s decision to quit free-balling comes on the heels of M&M’s canning their “spokescandies” (also known as the little M&M people that have been around forever) in favor of Maya Rudolph.
Because nothing says “eat me” quite like Ms. Rudolph.
In reality, they sent the spokescandies packing because a bunch of idiots were offended by the colors or lack of colors (I can’t keep track) of the M&M’s featured on the company’s packaging and its marketing campaign.
There were also some citing the spokescandies’ shoes as being male-dominant. Seriously.
And naturally, this offended some. You know the type – make your own soap, likely live in Portland.
Now, both the “polarizing” shoes worn M&M’s spokescandies and the bare legs of Rooty Root Bear are no more.
At this rate, Bugs Bunny and Porky Pig will be in hazmat suits by week’s end.
Despite The Wardrobe Change, A&W’s Mascot Is Staying
Now that he has the decency to toss on a pair of pants, A&W’s allowing Rooty to stay put. In their statement the company confirmed Rooty will remain their official “spokesbear.” They closed their announcement by stating: “We are confident Rooty will continue to champion good food & good times for many years to come…now in denim.”
They should’ve paired Rooty’s denim jeans with a denim jacket and went full Canadian tuxedo. After all, this move is as about as soft as Canada.
*UPDATE* We’ve got good news to report. After A&W’s decision to put pants on Rooty went viral, the restaurant/soda company tweeted that they’re laughing alongside the rest of us. The public relations skit was all a joke (and a hell of a troll in the direction of M&M’s).
Cheers to A&W for their unique way of reminding us they’re still around!
Follow along on Twitter: @OhioAF