Astros Hit Vaccination Threshold, Dusty Baker Is Ready For His Toothpicks To Return

The Houston Astros can finally take off their masks after they’ve reportedly reached the ’85 percent player vaccination threshold.’ But most importantly: Astros manager Dusty Baker can bring back the dugout toothpicks!

Live your best life, Dusty.

“I’ve got a whole case of them,” Baker said.

What’s interesting is that Yankees assistant coach Phil Nevin tested positive for COVID yesterday, even though he has been vaccinated. So why do the Astros feel so confident that the same can’t happen to Dusty Baker? The 71-year-old would be considered “at risk,” yet baseball treats the vaccine like a cure. It makes no scientific sense, but have any of these protocols?

Touching the same baseballs, using the same bathroom in the clubhouse, and suddenly all systems go? We won’t question it because we want to see Dusty Baker make a decision to coach without fear. We’re just saying that Baker should’ve been rocking the toothpicks on Opening Day, if that’s what he wanted to do.

Written by Gary Sheffield, Jr

Gary Sheffield Jr is the son of should-be MLB Hall of Famer, Gary Sheffield. He covers basketball and baseball for, chats with the Purple and Gold faithful on LakersNation, and shitposts on Twitter. You can follow him at GarySheffieldJr

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  1. Haha! I dislike Dusty Baker than manager as a Reds fan but break out that toothpick and fill out that scorecard with a .198 Willie Taveras or Cory Patterson batting leadoff because “they are due!”

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