Woman In Open Relationship Calls Boyfriend Racist For Having Sex With White Women Only

If you plan on bragging to your friends this weekend about the women you sleep with, you may have to lie about more than just the number. After you adjust the number from one or zero to two or three, it's now crucial that you also identify the race of each extra woman.

In Slate's latest How to Do It, a popular sex advice column, an anonymous woman detailed that her boyfriend, whom she allows to sleep with other women, has "disturbing preferences." This man has chosen to sleep with white women only. As always, say "white" in an eerie tone.

"A little over three years ago, my longtime boyfriend and I decided to open our relationship," the woman wrote.

"We're honest and upfront with the other partners each of us bring home, and our own sex has been better than ever because of it. I trust that my boyfriend does not have any other women he's slept with without telling me about them."

It sounds like the woman was satisfied with the system, at least initially. Then, however, matters quickly turned sideways.

"The problem is that in this timeframe, he's been with five women, all of them white."

Uh oh. Here it comes:

"We do not live in some white-only community, and the odds of him selecting five women at random and getting five white girls is tiny. I talked to him about this, and he started getting very defensive and saying 'he liked the girls he liked.'

"I don't know how to deal with this. There definitely seems to be at least subliminal racism in his choices. What should I do?"

You probably now wonder how the author could publish this story with a straight face. But she did, and she found the topic troubling.

"I think you should have another conversation about this (possibly multiple conversations) as calmly as possible," Slate's Jessica Stoya advised.

It turns out there's a name for the phenomenon of banging only white women: sexual racism. Slate explains:

"You may very well get to the point where he admits he's only interested in white women. Then what? If you don't want to be in a relationship with someone with such discriminating taste in bed, well, you'll know it's time to plan your exit strategy. The fundamental importance of consent means that no one has to have sex with anyone that they don't want to, but it also means that you don't have to stay with someone who only wants to have sex with white women."

"Such discriminating taste in bed," huh? Sexual racism doesn't sound good. Perhaps it could cost you your job?

So to avoid becoming a sexual racist, please diversify the women you bang immediately (which is fine -- most of you just take what you can get anyway.) Slate's not even asking you to adopt ESPN's definition of diversity, you don't need to give up white women entirely. Just remember, people are, to use the column's headline, keeping count.

As for men doing women of color exclusively, it appears you're not sexual racists.