JaMarcus Russell's Comeback Has Obstacles, Boobs

Last night came news that JaMarcus Russell is planning a comeback.

Today comes evidence that Jamarcus Russell's comeback needs a lot of work.

Local Baton Rouge station 104.5 provided these photos to Outkick the Coverage. This is JaMarcus Russell, looking like an oversized yeti in a basketball jersey, at a popular Baton Rouge restaurant. Yes, this is security camera footage, which somehow makes things even better. The shots are reportedly a year old, but if this is any indication of the shape that JaMarcus is presently in -- he's got a long way to go on his comeback.  

How do we love these photos?

So much that it's time for awkward quarterback photos.

1. The Oakland Raiders gave JaMarcus Russell a $61 million dollar contract with $32 million guaranteed.

Judging from these photos Russell spent $33 million on syrup.

2. Russell is wearing cargo shorts.

Conveniently these cargo shorts also double as a cover for Air Force One, the president's plane, not JaMarcus's shoes.  

3. Upon seeing these photographs the Tennessee Titans gave JaMarcus Russell another $10 million guaranteed. 

The Titans are definitely signing him, right? 

4. It appears JaMarcus is wearing a basketball jersey.

This is merely a camera illusion.

Instead, JaMarcus just ate fat Shawn Kemp.

5. JaMarcus Russell is fat as hell, but even he has a real girlfriend.

Your move Manti Te'o.

6. JaMarcus's rookie year Raiders head coach?

Lane Kiffin.

Can you imagine these conversations? This needs to be a movie.

7. Russell is not wearing sleeves because he sweats butter.

This way he can butter his biscuits by simply rubbing them upon his forearms.

8. Ryan Leaf looked at these photos and said, "Bro, that's a bust!"

Then he went back into his meth lab and passed out.

9. JaMarcus has recently advanced from size 42 shorts to "infinities."

Buster Douglas thinks these look awesome.

10. Russell recently announced that he will be known as Marcus for his comeback.

The reason?

He ate the Ja'.


Thanks to Baton Rouge radio station 104.5 for the photos.

Written by
Clay Travis is the founder of the fastest growing national multimedia platform, OutKick, that produces and distributes engaging content across sports and pop culture to millions of fans across the country. OutKick was created by Travis in 2011 and sold to the Fox Corporation in 2021. One of the most electrifying and outspoken personalities in the industry, Travis hosts OutKick The Show where he provides his unfiltered opinion on the most compelling headlines throughout sports, culture, and politics. He also makes regular appearances on FOX News Media as a contributor providing analysis on a variety of subjects ranging from sports news to the cultural landscape. Throughout the college football season, Travis is on Big Noon Kickoff for Fox Sports breaking down the game and the latest storylines. Additionally, Travis serves as a co-host of The Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show, a three-hour conservative radio talk program syndicated across Premiere Networks radio stations nationwide. Previously, he launched OutKick The Coverage on Fox Sports Radio that included interviews and listener interactions and was on Fox Sports Bet for four years. Additionally, Travis started an iHeartRadio Original Podcast called Wins & Losses that featured in-depth conversations with the biggest names in sports. Travis is a graduate of George Washington University as well as Vanderbilt Law School. Based in Nashville, he is the author of Dixieland Delight, On Rocky Top, and Republicans Buy Sneakers Too.