Florida Schools Aren't Being Overrun With Coronavirus, Woke Newspaper Finds

There's bad news for coronabros out there who wanted COVID to close schools to validate their entire purpose for waking up and living another day. You need to sit down for this news, coronabros. The USA Today, home to coronasister Christine Brennan and fellow gang member Dan Wolken, has found Florida's "positive case count among kids ages 5 to 17 declined through late September after a peak in July."

COVID hasn't overrun the school system and, according to USA Today, requests to get remote learners back into classrooms has surged. "In Martin County, along the Atlantic Coast, the school district logged more than 160 such requests," the newspaper reported. "That’s nearly four times as many as those asking to switch from in-person to remote."

It's going so well in Florida that the paper is actually reporting there's talk of rolling back some precautions put in place during the return to school in August.

Health officials told USA Today mask wearing, social distancing, isolating contacts and quick contact tracing was key to Florida's success.

Florida reported 738 cases Monday, the lowest number reported since June 2. CBS Miami reported a two-week positivityrate of 4.48%. As of September 25, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis officially opened nightclubs, strip clubs, bars, restaurants, etc. without mask requirements. 

The governor announced Tuesday the state will be receiving 6.4 million rapid COVID-19 antigen testing kits and thousands of those kits will immediately be sent to Florida schools.

"If you have somebody, a kid, a student that has symptoms, obviously they're going to be pulled out of class," DeSantis said during a news conference. "They can be given this test, and then we'll know within 15 minutes whether it's COVID or not."


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Joe Kinsey is the Senior Director of Content of OutKick and the editor of the Morning Screencaps column that examines a variety of stories taking place in real America. Kinsey is also the founder of OutKick’s Thursday Night Mowing League, America’s largest virtual mowing league. Kinsey graduated from University of Toledo.