Analysis: A Fellow Middle-Aged Dad On Tom Brady & Gisele’s Marriage Woes

From all indications, it sounds like 42-year-old supermodel Gisele is ready for husband Tom Brady to dial back his career so they can get on with life and maybe settle down in the suburbs. Maybe get a mini-Doodle. Make friends with the neighbors and crush some champagne during and after the kids’ select soccer matches.

Meanwhile, her football-crazed husband has a problem with sitting around the house and sucking down cucumber water seltzers with his neighbor Pete who doesn’t know the intricacies of the modern NFL passing game.

And this disconnect clearly isn’t going away.

According to the New York Post, Gisele enters the first week of the NFL season estranged from Brady. The supermodel reportedly returned from Costa Rica where she was holed up with her emotions and is now in Miami to see her kids, Benjamin, 12, and Vivian, 9.

Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen attend the Heavenly Bodies: Fashion & The Catholic Imagination Costume Institute Gala at The Metropolitan Museum in 2018. (Photo by Matt Winkelmeyer/MG18/Getty Images for The Met Museum/Vogue)

“Tom is still hoping they can reconcile. Gisele has told him she’s leaving him before, and they always made up when she cooled down,” a source told the Post.

While reports the couple will divorce are being shot down by sources, it’s wild that the relationship is to the point where Gisele is estranged from the family over Tom’s football decision.

The working theory from this drama is that Gisele is furious that Tom decided to un-retire when it appeared she would get that mid-40s dream come true of her husband being home in the fall to be dad and mow the grass on Thursday nights.

The drama has reportedly made Tom “very sad” yet he isn’t backing down from his decision to buckle the chinstrap Sunday night at Jerry’s World on NBC at 8:20 on national television.

Let’s dive into Gisele’s brain for a second.

Her husband has SEVEN Super Bowl titles and will go down as the greatest quarterback in the history of the NFL. One could assume she and Tom had a conversation on the couch as the kids were off playing Roblox where she demanded it was time for retirement.

Being a good soldier, Tom agreed and released the Instagram statement.

Then the boys start talking over group text. He’s 45 and susceptible to his crew talking him into things while his wife doesn’t know they’re building a plan via iMessage.

For normal guys, it’s the bright idea to throw together a guys-only Vegas trip. Some guys throw together multi-day golf trips. Or bender college football trips.

Tom clearly got caught up on a group text exchange and over-committed to another NFL season without discussing it with Gisele and then it was too late. It was Group Text Official®. TB12 was pot committed.

Like wives finding out their husbands committed a grand to a wild golf trip, Gisele found out TB was pot committed and flew off the handle. I’m talking one of those shivers up your spine when she starting flying off the handle moments.

Tom Brady & Gronk celebrate winning Super Bowl LV at Raymond James Stadium on February 07, 2021 in Tampa, Florida. (Photo by Mike Ehrmann/Getty Images)

From the sound of things, Tom has made multiple Group Text Official blunders in the past, hence the multiple fights where Gisele has cooled off.

The guy is competitive. The minute the boys on the group text present a challenge (one more season…this team is LOADED TOM….hahahahahaha….bro let’s do this), his brain is weak. He can’t back down, even though there’s a wife at home who wants the mini-Doodle and HBO Max nights after the kids go to bed. “No” isn’t in his vocabulary on the group text.

As another 45-year-old guy who has a weakness over making Group Text Plans®, I have walked in Tom Brady’s Under Armours, but it’s always been over things like too much golf, staying out an extra hour at a neighbor’s basement party, or buying another TV after one of the boys in the group text finds a killer deal.

Tom Brady Admits What He And Wife Gisele Bundchen Always Argue About
Tom Brady and supermodel Gisele were married February 26, 2009 / Getty Images

Here’s how this is going to play out: long-term separation.

I hate to say it and there are kids involved. Tom chose the Boys’ Group Text over Gisele on a major life moment and there’s no going back. He’s too pot committed and she can’t forgive him any longer. She’s devastated. That’s why he disappeared to Costa Rica, as some assume to have happened when he left the Buccaneers camp.

There’s way more hurt here than when women act pissed because you played 36 after saying it would be just a quick 9. They get over that stuff in about 2-4 hours. This is different.

In my opinion, she’s going to make Miami home and tell him to fly in when he wants to be a part of the kids’ life.

Tom’s forever married to the football streets. It’s everything. This is what group text pot committed looks like.

Written by Joe Kinsey

I'm an Ohio guy, born in Dayton, who roots for Ohio State and can handle you guys destroying the Buckeyes, Urban Meyer and everything associated with Columbus.

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  1. Whoa Whoa Whoa ….. there was a report just yesterday that ARod and his bikini model have split …. now Gisele is IN MIAMI and sorta kinda back on the Available list …….. ARod & Gisele ??????
    .
    You heard it here first ………..

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