Allie Dunn Is Poised To Have A Big Summer, Tom Brady & The Boys Soaking Up The Sun, Plus Brian Urlacher Drains A Hole-In-One
Suburban moms would faint
Close your eyes and imagine walking through the side gate to your buddy's house as the sun is going down in suburbia. Tiki torches are LIT. Pandora's Yacht Rock is pumping Michael McDonald through the Sonos sound system that Geoff installed when the pool went in. He's been KILLING IT in the medical sales industry and Sydney wanted a pool with the waterfall hot tub, so she got the full package.
The first thing you see after coming around the corner is the bonfire ablaze in the Solo Stove®. There's a massive patio pavilion -- four TVs over the bar showing MLB games -- and Carlos (Geoff hired him away from the 5-star Mexican restaurant for the weekend because Geoff has been KILLING IT & Syds loves authentic margaritas) juggling flaming margarita glasses.
And then it happens like in the movies. The music stops. Heads swivel. There's stunned silence. Jaws drop. Suburban moms cannot believe their eyes.
Yes, you're head-to-toe in the Summer '23 Aldi Summer Fit.
#notsponsored
Three years? There has to be a mattress brand out there willing to throw him a new bed to sleep on after this historic run
I'll say this, Max deserves some sort of "Do Hard Things" medal because there's zero chance, even when I was a kid, I would have been interested in heading out to the tent to sleep outside 365 days a year.
How did this all start?
According to the Guinness Book of World Records, it started in 2020 when Max's neighbor, Rick Abbot, was diagnosed with terminal cancer and Max's family helped care for the neighbor in his final days.
“Before my neighbor died of cancer, he gave me a tent and told me to ‘have an adventure’," Max said.
Mission accomplished, Max.
Zoom call agitation in 2023
• Person who identifies as an Angry Old Man writes:
I'm working from home mostly and am getting more and more irritated at people who want to talk and lead zoom calls that have ZERO clue how acoustics work and how they sound like they are in a literal echo chamber. We're three years into the big shift to video calls and still, people haven't figured it out? I spent 30ish min on a call today that was brutal.
Hardwood floors with no decor = horrible sound. And these are well-paid people with fancy titles at big corps. You need curtains, rugs, and other items to soften the room. I've lived in three different places since Covid.
Every time I did test zooms with my dad to ask him about my sound and lighting. Took very little to get it right. Am I the only one who wants to punch others through the screen?
Kinsey:
I have a blank wall and my giant Dale Earnhardt standee behind me during Zoom calls. I have tile floors, no rugs or curtains, but I have the most expensive insulation I could buy at Lowe's in the basement walls.
I've yet to hear that I have horrible acoustics.
I like the simplicity of my blank wall. Zero conversation pieces outside of the vintage Dale Sr. That's all I need.
Proud dad moment & a 4/20 grow light update
• Danny W. writes:
I’ve been busy the last couple days and haven’t had a chance to drop a little bragging note. My 11 yr old boy has been playing Lacrosse for the last 5 yrs. He’s never known the thrill of scoring a goal. I told him at the beginning of this season if he can score a goal, I will pay him a bounty of $50. With two games left in the Box Lacrosse season (lacrosse played on a hockey rink with turf laid down) he finally got his first goal. Seeing the joy on his face when his teammate mobbed him and the confidence and swagger after the game gave me one of the proudest dad moments I’ve had. Best $50 I’ve ever spent.
I’m hoping to make the 4/20 opening night of TNML. But weather conditions up north might push back opening day. If I can’t mow, perhaps the ground will be thawed enough to get in an aerate session and a quick fertilizer application. Still waiting on my TNML sticker. Worried it got lost en route.
Got my herbs, peppers, and tomato plants in the basement grow house.
Kinsey:
The Feds who read Screencaps, yes, The Feds, need to relax -- he's just growing tomato plants. When I started reading Danny's email I thought with the $50 his son opened up his own grown station. That was going to be a huge proud dad moment, but then we got the plot twist that it's really Danny's baby.
As for stickers, remain calm. The stickers will get there. If I have to, I'll Fed Ex the damn thing to those of you who are worried about being left behind. You WILL get a sticker. I promise.
Screencaps reader vs. a Korn Ferry pro-am
• Louie in Savannah had quite the experience this week:
Good morning and Happy Tuesday (as happy as a Tuesday can be anyway)!
I wanted to send my recap for the Pro-Am I played in last week, especially since you teased it yesterday in Caps. I am sorry for the delay, the tourney was last Wednesday but it's been hectic lately with work, kids, little league... you and many of Caps readers know the drill. lol
I have a little background for those that aren't drinking buddies of mine, I am a golf nut. I love golf, play whenever I can but like most middle-class working stiffs with young children, I rarely get to play these days. Ten years ago I was a solid 12 handicap, playing once or twice a week. These days I am lucky to play a round once a month. I have lost all my touch around the greens and my ball striking is as inconsistent as a liberal's pronouns. I watch it on tv all the time and keep up with the tour via various websites, apps, etc. My clubs are in desperate need of replacing but the are low on the list if possible expenditures these days (but moving up now). My strategy of introducing my sons to the game is working out well since they are starting to enjoy it and ask me to play all the time. My wife has no desire to take up the game which is fine because I believe separate interests are vital to a happy marriage.
So back to last week when I was told that I would have the opportunity to play the Korn Ferry Tour Pro-Am that was happening locally that week; the Club Car Championship in Savannah. I was given the honor through my work which was an incredible bonus. I played in a scramble the Saturday before the tourney but had both my young sons with me so my focus was more on keeping them on track and not having them crash a golf cart. I went to the range Sunday morning by myself to try to get dialed in, which helped a bit.
It was a tremendous experience! I would encourage anyone who has an opportunity to play in an event like this to absolutely do it. Two coworkers and I were paired with Joe Highsmith for the front nine and Brandon Hagy for the back nine. We had an absolute blast with both golfers. For a golf nerd like me (one who knows a ton about the game but is barely above a hacker skill-wise), it was paradise.
Joe Highsmith is a very laid-back guy from Washington state who played collegiately at Pepperdine. He's pretty high up in the Korn Ferry Rankings so he'll hopefully be on the PGA Tour next year. His caddie is a friend from college named Steve and they have worked together for years. They were very laid back, with a casual round with buddies vibe. Joe is a southpaw who hits it incredibly long off the tee given his frame (5'8" 160). He was just flat out showing off at one point, rolling in putts from the fringe with the blade of his lob wedge. Joe H. was a great playing partner because even after a bad shot, he was reassuring. I was trying to carry a bunker off the tee and it rolled to a stop just short. Steve pulled out the book and said, "It's 250 to the bunker." I replied, "I feel so inadequate. (with a chuckle)" Joe said, "that wind's dead in our face Lou." That helped ease my sorrow.
Brandon Hagy has some PGA experience and it was evident, plus he was a hilarious shit-talker throughout the round. He played at Cal and hits it a MILE. His caddie Joe was was wearing a Yankees hat so I immediately called him a scumbag on our first tee. lol What struck me with these two was just how opposite their approach to the round was. They were incredibly friendly but also they were working. Joe was pacing off greens and Brandon was rolling practice putts frequently while us mortals were finishing the hole out. I had some talks with Joe about how he confirms yardages and selects clubs for Brandon which was incredibly insightful. I kept testing Joe with me range finder and he was right on it, as you would expect. Joe read some putts for us which of course made a huge difference.
On a long par 5, Brandon and Joe had to walk back about 100 yards to the pro tee while the rest of us teed off from our tee box. Brandon told us to go ahead and hit so we did and as we were BS'ing, we heard a golf ball sailing well over our heads and landing 200 yards in front of us. We were respectfully laughing at the fact that he trusts his club so much he teed off with us 100 yards in front of him, in the center of the fairway. Brandon had 250 to go to the stick, over water for his second shot. He then pulled out a 2 iron and stuck it to 6 feet. It was the most impressive golf shot I had ever seen in person.
I did not take many pictures for two reasons, I did not want to seem like a tourist, but mostly I was enjoying the experience so much I didn't even think so snap photos most of the time. I sent the photos I did take however if you want to post them. My playing partners and I did take some post round photos with the players but I am not sure if my coworkers want their photos posted online so I held off on those pics.
Like I said, the whole experience was incredible! My team shot a 57 with our Shamble format which I'll take all day long. Joe H. and Brandon finished the actual tournament tied for 13th.
I am sorry for the long email, I could probably type another 1,000 words honestly.
How to chat with the AI bots
• JB writes:
Steering them to the TNML lifestyle. What’s my next play?
Kinsey:
OK guys, where does JB go from here?
That should keep the bot busy.
Would you drive it?
• Adam W. in Nebraska writes:
Kinsey:
Imagine pulling up to the suburban patio party at Geoff's house in this poon wagon and then hopping out wearing your Aldi gear. Talk about creating a scene. Straight outta the movies.
There's something about Screencaps & North Dakota
• Thad Z. in Nebraska, by way of a little town in North Dakota called Zap, writes:
I am eagerly awaiting my TNML sticker that the post office emailed me I would be receiving today and I was thinking about a story you might appreciate.
I grew up in a little town in North Dakota called Zap. In I believe 1969 students in the 2 bigger colleges decided that they didn't have the money to go south for spring break and they picked out a random town from ND on the map.
They published it in their papers and it turned into a huge party that was welcome at first but the welcome was short-lived when they got upset about jacked-up beer prices and decided to build a big bonfire in the middle of Main street.
The National Guard was actually called out and it made the national news. If you search on YouTube there is about an hour-long documentary on it. I wasn't born until 5 years later but took part in the 20 celebration in which a good friend of mine decided that lots of blackberry brandy was a good idea along with bologna sandwiches at midnight.
We were only sophomores in high school and were grounded for a long time after but it was a damn good coming-of-age memory for a town of about 250 people at that time. I have since moved to Nebraska but still think about growing up in that little town and how it shaped my values and wish that the young people of today could go back to those simpler times when you would get up in the morning in the summer and just had to make sure you were home by dark and your parents never worried. (At least that we knew about) just a little story and a rant about the way the world has changed from a soon to be old man yelling at the kids to get off his lawn.
Kinsey:
This has all the makings of a modern college coming-of-age movie that needs to be made. This sorta reminds me of when I took part in the Bud Light Whatever USA event where I was told I was being flown to Los Angeles for a party, but I didn't know where the party was at or where I was going after landing in L.A.
Eventually, the group I was with was taken to the ferry terminal for a trip to Catalina Island where Bud Light had taken over the business district and threw a massive three-day party.
You're damn right I'm thankful for the stuff I've experienced via this blogging career.
I hope these two are still out there partying like they were on Catalina. They were definitely Up For Whatever.
What a place. What a time.
What a fun morning for Screencaps. There's a little bit of everything in her this morning and this is one of the more upbeat posts for a boring Wednesday in March. That's just a testament to the community and how you guys are starting to think as we head toward that huge Opening Day on 4/20.
You're starting to think summer and it shows. I love it. The happiness is starting to flow even from the guys in the Upper Plains who won't see summer until mid-June.
Now go out there and crush another day of life. The sun is out for some of us. The birds are chirping. We're ready to go.
Email: joekinsey@gmail.com