Aaron Rodgers Says His Next Challenge Will Be Becoming A Dad

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Aaron Rodgers, who still hasn’t been publicly photographed with his fiancée Shailene Woodley, is now out saying his “next great challenge will be being a father.” Rodgers, appearing on an Instagram Live with Zenith Watches, started talking about how he’s looking forward to taking care of a child.

“I’m in that age group where a lot of my close friends from high school and college are fathers now and have families of their own,” he said. “It’s maybe not in the immediate future but definitely something that I really look forward to.”

Ten days ago, I told you guys something was completely off about Rodgers and Woodley, who says she’d never seen a football game before dating Rodgers. Now they’re engaged and she hasn’t even been to a Packers game. Add that on top of Rodgers saying his “next great challenge will be being a father” and you have a big ‘ol I don’t believe any of this sandwich.

“I’ve done a pretty good job at taking care of myself for the last 37 years and look forward to taking care of another life at some point too,” Rodgers continued. “I just think it’s going to be so fun.”

I’m going to break this down for Rodgers on how things are going to go since he seems to be completely clueless as to what his “next great challenge” will be — unless he’s somehow knocked up Woodley.

The wedding:

  • I get that Shailene is so gosh darn quirky and she’s an actress and different and just not like the ordinary women out there…blah, blah, blah. She turns 30 in November. I don’t care how quirky, different or not like the other women out there. That wedding, if it even happens, will be the next great challenge in Rodgers’ life. Trust me, bro.

The honeymoon:

  • Again, I get that Shailene is quirky and different, but choosing a honeymoon destination will be another great challenge. Rodgers might think that he can just let Shailene pick a pipeline they can go protest together, but she’ll want him involved in the decision-making process. Does he want to protest a Canadian pipeline? A pipeline in North Dakota? Or perhaps they want to get real wild and go protest Brazilian deforestation. The place they choose to protest together will forever hold special meaning in their hearts. The future wife wants her forever love involved in that process

The first year:

  • This is the settling-in stage, and it’s another great challenge. The buzz of the wedding and the honeymoon wears off, the husband and wife settle in with yard work around the house, maybe a couples vacation, trips to the gardening center and the addition of a Goldendoodle to the marital residence.
  • Rodgers acts like he’s ready to be a dad when he hasn’t even taken care of a Goldendoodle who needs to do photoshoots at the pumpkin patch, at grandma and grandpa’s house, at the lake, etc.

The humping:

  • Does Rodgers even comprehend the humping schedule he’ll be on to produce that offspring he wants to raise? If he hates training camp, he’s going to get annoyed real fast with scheduled humping and how it’s like going in to get treatment on a hamstring.

Picking out the name:

  • Another great challenge for Aaron. Remember, bro, your wife has all sorts of street cred for being quirky, different, creative, blah, blah, blah. Don’t be shocked when the baby boy is named Echo Fidel-Jupiter Rodgers.

The baby shower: 

  • Do you go? Do you throw routes with the guys? Golf trip? Do you show up to put the presents in the Tesla Model X?

The baby:

  • You’ve finally made it to your “next great challenge” and 4 a.m. Saturday mornings with Echo Fidel-Jupiter while mom sleeps. Good luck.
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Written by Joe Kinsey

I'm an Ohio guy, born in Dayton, who roots for Ohio State and can handle you guys destroying the Buckeyes, Urban Meyer and everything associated with Columbus.

13 Comments

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  1. She looks like the unhappiest woman I’ve seen in quite a while. Photo shoots and red carpets while she grinds her teeth about 8 outta the top 10 rivers polluting our oceans are in China and India.
    Maybe wondering when Aaron the ball thrower is gonna show up in a hologram to get under center.

  2. and all his challenges will pale in comparison to an ex wife and custody battle…

    my last girlfriend was very open about taking her ex to the cleaners and pondered lifetime alimony 😊

    she was telling me this stuff … wow.

    dear Aaron, money can’t buy you an escape 😜

  3. “Rodgers might think that he can just let Shailene pick a pipeline”
    Ummm….I think the pipelines these two gravitate towards is kinda why it all seems so….odd.

    “Does Rodgers even comprehend the humping schedule he’ll be on”
    Ummm….will it be any more taxing than the humping schedule that certain….uhhh…men…are used to?

  4. Anyone remember the story of Rodgers returning Christmas presents that were sent to him by his family? And how he doesn’t speak to them anymore? Wonder if his kids are going to treat him the same way. What goes around, comes around…

  5. The way he talks about a child (“look forward to taking care of another life”) is the way she talked about him (“he throws balls for a living”).
    Can you JUST SEE THEM with a baby…NO, I can’t either.

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