Ohio News Girl With Sexual Name Has Captivated All Of America

I'll be honest with you – some days, I have little to no motivation to get up and pump out blogs for you guys. It's just true. 

Other days, though, I slug down two cups of coffee before sunrise, scroll Twitter, see that America's made another internet star, and I can't get to my computer fast enough. 

Today, ladies and gentlemen, is one of those days. 

Last week, I ID'd Sad Kentucky Girl for everyone, and she went viral. Today, I'm here to applaud the internet once again, because they discovered the next star …

Meet Ohio news girl Kellyanne Stitts:

Kellyanne Stitts is gonna drive the internet crazy 

Goodness gracious me, what a way to start an MLB opening day Thursday. My immediate question is obviously aimed at OutKick's Ohio contingent – both past and present. 

Hey, Joe and Anthony – how does Kellyanne Stitts fall through the cracks? How have we not written about her? Made her a star? Hell, made her an offer to be our official news girl?

I know Screencaps basically has Yanet Garcia on retainer at this point, but I'd take Kellyanne Stitts over her any day of the week and twice on Sunday. 

This chick has it. She's got all the intangibles you're looking for in the internet star game. 

She can report the hell out of the Central Ohio news, embraces her very sexual name, and has an Instagram account loaded with content from top to bottom. 

Check, check aaaaaaand check. Let's make this girl famous before lunch today, huh?

Gossip Greg from the comments gets it:

Already is, frankly. 

That above tweet started picking up some serious steam last night, and it's now closing in on a measly 1 million views. 

Can't wait to see how Kellyanne Stitts capitalizes on this. Big spot for her. Time to show us what you got.