You Need Holly Rowe On That Wall, You Want Holly Rowe on That Wall

Published|Updated

Last night in the immediate wake of Michigan's non-false start false started kick, Holly Rowe had some female competition for an interview with Brady Hoke and, well, she was not happy that another reporter got to Hoke first.

You guys have such eagle eyes, you immediately blew up my Twitter feed to make sure I'd seen Holly Rowe elbow the other reporter out of the way.

When you're Erin Andrews, Jenn Brown, or Tracy Wolfson, the coach finds you.

When you're Holly Rowe, you're finding the damn coach.

Yep, it's time for another contest with a prize package sent to the winner:

Here are my 15 suggestions: (I know y'all can beat these).

1. "Bitch, I'll cut you."

2. "I'm on Hoke like frosting on cake. And I know cake. And frosting."

3. (Says nothing, pretends other girl is Erin Andrews.)

4. "Look out, sweetheart."

(RIP, Ron Franklin's career).

5. "I am NOT going back to the Daily Utah Chronicle!"

6. Per her wikipedia page right now: "Holly is also highly versed in MMA fighting, as was demonstrated during a post game interview at the 2012 Sugar Bowl in New Orleans, in which Holly can clearly be seen giving another female reporter a stiff forearm to the chest region followed up by the "Honey Badger Don't Give A SH**" look."

7. "I've been flashing my boobs in New Orleans since 1986. I'm making Girls Gone Wild this year. No one is stopping me."

8. "After fifteen years of interviewing men thinner than me, you think I'm letting you get the fat coach and the fat kicker first. Nun-uh."  

9. "I am NOT getting demoted to the Longhorn Network, you harpy."

10. "I've been in make-up since Sunday. It's go-time."

11. "You think that was bad, you should see what I did to Bruce Feldman back in '99."

12. "They fed me, and it's after midnight. Look out, twiggy."

13. "Hunny, you just flew coach from Ypsilanti, make way for first class."

14. "I'm NOT wearing jeans and a beret on the X-Games."

15. "I call my elbow, 'the Sandusky.' You do NOT want to know why." 

Beat these. 

And we're off.  

Tags
Written by
Clay Travis is the founder of the fastest growing national multimedia platform, OutKick, that produces and distributes engaging content across sports and pop culture to millions of fans across the country. OutKick was created by Travis in 2011 and sold to the Fox Corporation in 2021. One of the most electrifying and outspoken personalities in the industry, Travis hosts OutKick The Show where he provides his unfiltered opinion on the most compelling headlines throughout sports, culture, and politics. He also makes regular appearances on FOX News Media as a contributor providing analysis on a variety of subjects ranging from sports news to the cultural landscape. Throughout the college football season, Travis is on Big Noon Kickoff for Fox Sports breaking down the game and the latest storylines. Additionally, Travis serves as a co-host of The Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show, a three-hour conservative radio talk program syndicated across Premiere Networks radio stations nationwide. Previously, he launched OutKick The Coverage on Fox Sports Radio that included interviews and listener interactions and was on Fox Sports Bet for four years. Additionally, Travis started an iHeartRadio Original Podcast called Wins & Losses that featured in-depth conversations with the biggest names in sports. Travis is a graduate of George Washington University as well as Vanderbilt Law School. Based in Nashville, he is the author of Dixieland Delight, On Rocky Top, and Republicans Buy Sneakers Too.