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Now that was a weekend!

I don’t want to make this all about me this morning, but MY Bengals are now up to a 92% probability of making the playoffs (check your team’s probability here — including Lions fans who aren’t dead yet and it’s December!) with a chance to get Joe Burrow’s first win over the Browns and end Cleveland’s season all in a matter of seven days.

Add in Ohio State sneaking into a New Year’s Eve Final Four game against Georgia and that’s a solid weekend, even if the Dawgs are going to smash my Buckeyes and then take a leak on their busted nuts. At least it will be a Saturday night bowl game and a reason to spend New Year’s Eve in the man cave.

Weekend observations:

  1. I was on the highway for approximately four hours and the kids never asked to watch YouTube on a phone or watch a movie on the car TV. Talk about a Christmas miracle.
  2. Those Dorothy Lane Market deserts at my aunt’s house were insane. It’s probably a good thing I don’t live closer to south Dayton.
  3. Marion’s pizza is so damn good. If you know, you know. It’s the only sausage pizza Mrs. Screencaps would ever agree to eat.
  4. Have any of you guys ever transported pizza for two hours? Would one of those pizza delivery heat sleeves keep it piping hot for two hours if I were to go on a pizza run?
  5. My brother, the Beer Guy, says that Miller Lite is the dominant domestic beer in Dayton, OH. That caught me off-guard.
  6. My brother also claims he’s not shaving his massive white beard because it gives him street cred with certain carryout owners he does business with. That caught me off-guard.
  7. It’s sad to drive by the house where I spent most of my youth and see what’s become of the old homestead. My dad put in the basketball court for basketball not to serve as a parking spot for trucks. It’s tough to see.
  8. The I-70 E to I-75 N ramp remains one of the biggest engineering disasters in the history of the highway system.
  9. Ohio State Highway Patrol car spotted over four hours on I-75: (1)
  10. That’s another Christmas season miracle

Poor Brittany Mahomes

You really have to feel sorry for Brittany and all that she’s had to go through during her NFL journey.

https://twitter.com/BrittanyLynne/status/1599525938932330496

Christmas at the Vatican

• John L. in SD writes from Italy:

Pictured below is the Vatican’s rather modest Christmas tree, and the manger scene once it was lit. Do you see any inflatable doodads? I think the Holy Father has thus opined on the subject. Are you going to tell the Pope how to decorate for his holiday?

And in honor of Mike T., who’s now in France, John L. sent in some food photos from the streets of Rome:

Who’s having problems with streaming apps and divorce lawyers?

• Joe M. is down bad. This is two weeks in a row he’s had horrible problems with Paramount. I’ll let him explain:

I pay $99 a year for ParamountPlus alone.  2100 CST, and the latest episode available directly through Paramount Networks is S5E4, from last week.  They had one job.  Quick question: where are you supposed to watch 1883?  1923? Yellowstone?  How many of us know the answer?   NBCU is an inadequate joke, as I’ve said before.  I thought looking for episodes of Bar Rescue was bad, but their garbage with the Taylor Sheridan shows has outstripped any they’ve ever done  with other shows, like Picard, Halo, etc.   Everything associated with Paramount needs to burn.

If it wasn’t for the divorce agreement where I agreed to pay for streaming, I’d cancel almost all of them and just wait for Netflix and the DVDs for almost all of this content.  It is a crushingly bad joke.

Kinsey:

The streaming issue sounds horrible, but I’m intrigued by this divorce agreement where Joe has to pay the streaming bill. Is this a common ask from divorce lawyers? I’ve never been divorced and plan to do my best to keep it that way, so I’m not up on the current state of divorces.

Someone fill me in on odd asks out of divorce lawyers. Any of you guys having to pay something ridiculous like a monthly DoorDash stipend for the ex-wife?

Email: joekinsey@gmail.com

Rookies Wiffle ball experience in Wisconsin

Saturday morning I wrote about Rookies, the sports bar in Wisconsin that boasts a real-deal Wiffle ball field behind the business and 6,000 baseball cards in the men’s room.

• AL L. in Medina writes:

Hey Joe, my friends and I occasionally have a week-long get-together, and in the summer of 2017 we went to the backwoods of Wisconsin. We made sure to hit up Rookies. The food was good and the staff was courteous. We went on a weekday afternoon, and since they weren’t busy and we were crushing buckets of Miller, they didn’t charge us to use the field and their equipment.

And with that, let’s get the week rolling along. I want all of you to be careful at those company parties this week. Let’s refrain from getting lit up and fired. It’s the holiday season. This isn’t the time to risk your career at the open bar. Keep it together.

Have a great week and never forget we live in the greatest country in the world where you get to watch football and enjoy freedom.

Email: joekinsey@gmail.com

Numbers from :

https://twitter.com/OptaSTATS/status/1599636204823408642

Stuff You Guys Sent In & Stuff I Like:

https://twitter.com/TheUSGambler/status/1599559786382917632
https://twitter.com/samanthalacy_/status/1599636850242916352
https://twitter.com/upnatom2/status/1599476655827062785
https://twitter.com/KyleMalzhan/status/1599523570463670272
https://twitter.com/Outkick/status/1599480466800660480
https://twitter.com/_SgtSlaughter/status/1599563677778190337
https://twitter.com/EricaKaiser_/status/1599559731575918592
https://twitter.com/Reflog_18/status/1599576325051674625
https://twitter.com/JWade0789/status/1599571637531078656
https://twitter.com/WINCINNATI_/status/1599571853902610432
https://twitter.com/teeroyhowell/status/1599532474433818624
https://www.instagram.com/p/Clw5hP-rps9/
https://twitter.com/OldTakesExposed/status/1597644986241417216
https://twitter.com/idge_8/status/1599573102349848576
https://twitter.com/CollegeFBPortal/status/1599541937140535296
https://twitter.com/nocontextcfb/status/1599453551646081024
https://twitter.com/JeffKolbFOX4/status/1599198457579073536
https://twitter.com/j_nejman11/status/1599181998441930753
https://twitter.com/DukesMayoBowl/status/1599457308006051840
https://twitter.com/ClayTravis/status/1599571812328738818
https://twitter.com/CatWorkers/status/1599362780645072897
https://twitter.com/Bodegacats_/status/1599576686034448384
https://twitter.com/lana_evoli/status/1599218117653110784
https://twitter.com/books_andy/status/1599514625867141121
https://twitter.com/Bringatrailer/status/1599401006176952320
https://twitter.com/chris_a111111/status/1599482278673281024
https://twitter.com/ChefGruel/status/1599477187622866944
https://twitter.com/ChefGruel/status/1599441477079543809

Written by Joe Kinsey

I'm an Ohio guy, born in Dayton, who roots for Ohio State and can handle you guys destroying the Buckeyes, Urban Meyer and everything associated with Columbus.

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