Kelly S. Hayes is lucky to still have a face and probably lucky to still be alive after (allegedly) blowing up an ex-boyfriend’s Jeep. Go ahead and watch the video below. God was watching over Hayes if that’s her dousing the Jeep with gasoline. I’m not a burn specialist, but I know what normally happens when a ball of fire hits flesh. If I’m Hayes’ defense attorney, that’s my plan of attack.
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, look at my client’s face. There’s no way that’s her blowing up a Jeep. But, cops say an eyewitness took down the getaway license plate and this is 100% the woman who turned herself into a viral video.
Here’s the incident report from the Madison, Wisconsin police department:
The MPD and the Madison Fire Department responded to the 2000 block of Greenway Cross late Tuesday afternoon following reports that a parked car, a Chevy Impala, was becoming engulfed in flames. A witness told responding officers that a woman, armed with a baseball, bat had broken out the car’s windows prior to dousing it with gas and setting it on fire. Another witness had gotten the license plate of the suspect’s car. Kelly S. Hayes, age 34, Madison, was later arrested for arson and criminal damage to property. Hayes had a past relationship with a man who drives the car, which was assessed to be a total loss.
It’s definitely not a Chevy, but the eyewitness was probably in shock over what he/she just watched. As for the method of getting back with the ex-boyfriend, this is now the second story this week I’ve written about jaded ex-lovers. The other one was about the lady who went looking for help on www.rentahitman.com.
Ladies, I need you to think of a new strategy. Blowing up cars and trying to hire a hitman isn’t working. Maybe buy a Facebook ad. Maybe you send him a bag of dicks. I don’t want to see you going to jail over an ex. You can do so much better in life. Let’s get it together.
Woman Sets Jeep Cherokee on Fire pic.twitter.com/oQdiEGL1at
— Terrence K. Williams (@w_terrence) July 24, 2020