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Welcome To The Woke All-Star Identity Politics Final Four

And then there were four. Four warriors. Four woke soldiers. Four souls who battled their hearts out for the right to be a champion inside his/her echo chamber. The Identity Politics Final Four of the Woke All-Star Challenge is set and it’s star-studded. It’s time to get it on!

Identity Politics Gambling Info:

Dan Wolken +140 vs Karen Rovell -120

@BeatinTheBookie handicapper report: Rovell has the advantage in this matchup of woke nerds because he’s the hardest working snowflake in the game, while Wolken mainly stays in his feelings towards college sports. I expect Rovell to pull it out and stuff Wolken in a locker, similar to how he was stuffed in lockers during high school.

Keith Olbermann pk vs Jemele Hill pk

@BeatinTheBookie handicapper report: Listen, I know what you’re thinking: How is Crazy Keith a pick ’em against the woke queen? It’s simple. Recency bias and strength of schedule all go to Olbermann, who came out swinging with absolutely batshit tweets to Clay this week. Maybe he didn’t take his meds or maybe he was trying to impress OutKick readers for a boost in his woke rating. We will never know, but the one thing we do know is this will be a woke semifinal for the ages. Some would say it is the true final.

OutKick’s Report:

Each of our four woke semi-finalists brings an incredible array of talents with him/her to the Identity Politics Final Four. Dan Wolken specializes in mixing his love of COVID-19 and stupid college football takes into what has become an incredible force across the southeastern United States where fans have joined forces to see which fan base can hate Dan more.

His opponent, Karen Rovell, has figured out a way to work his love of COVID-19 into his general hatred of many different segments of society. Rovell actually increased his hatred brand during COVID-19 by being one of the virus’s biggest supporters, rooting hard for the virus to take out sports and everything else you value in society.

On the other side of the bracket, it’s bizarre lunacy from Keith Olbermann versus a woke street warrior in the form of Jemele Hill, who never lets a day go by without reminding her fellow street warriors who the queen is.

All four should be honored by just how hated they must be to get to this point in the All-Star Challenge. I was asked by OutKick readers to feature some of the greatest hits that these four have pumped out over the years. I didn’t waste too much time here. This should paint enough of a picture. You know the track records of all four. Let’s do this.

Dan Wolken’s Greatest Hits:

Jemele’s Greatest Hits:

Keith Olbermann’s Greatest Hits:

Karen Rovell’s Greatest Hits:

Written by Joe Kinsey

I'm an Ohio guy, born in Dayton, who roots for Ohio State and can handle you guys destroying the Buckeyes, Urban Meyer and everything associated with Columbus.

21 Comments

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  1. I still say Jemele will be the winner…..Also, Joe, you might want to send NBA announcer Mark Jones a memo letting him know he didn’t make the Final Four. I saw Mark Jones’s ridiculous lies about the Jacob Blake shooting. Mark Jones is out there promoting woke-liberal-NBA propaganda like he’s still competing for the Wokest woke title.

  2. Hill has been my winner/loser since the beginning…but I still say Joy Reid should’ve been in this tourney. Next time we need to expand to 32 or a full 64….there’s more than enough to fill it

  3. Probably gotta be Hill here since it’s the Woke tourney. Olbermann wins the most Batshit tourney, Wolken wins the Whiniest B*tch tourney, and Rovell just can win at anything no matter how hard he tries. Either way, epic Final Four of total jokes.

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