Ways to Fill the Football-Shaped Hole in Your Heart

Jan 12, 2015; Arlington, TX, USA; Ohio State Buckeyes quarterback Cardale Jones (12) celebrates with the College Playoff trophy after the game against the Oregon Ducks in the 2015 CFP National Championship Game at AT&T Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Matthew Emmons-USA TODAY Sports Matthew Emmons-USA TODAY Sports Getty Images North America

Now that college football season is over, you’ve got to find a way to fill that football shaped hole in your heart. You could do something productive, of course, like learning a foreign language, or helping out at a worthwhile non-profit. But let’s face it–if you were that guy, you would be doing that stuff already. You, being you, have several extra hours to fill every weekend, and since going outside and actually doing something isn’t an option, here are a few ways that you can scratch the pigskin itch.

  1. Fire up that Pinterest account that’s been collecting dust since 2013. Create different boards for your favorite team’s best fan art, the all-time most motivational sayings by Bear Bryant, and your wish list of Alabama-themed crafts from Etsy.

  2. Get that new tattoo you’ve been contemplating.

  3. Watch Rudy. Every time someone doubts him, take a drink. Every time someone slaps the “Play like a champion” sign, take half a sip. Every time Rudy talks to a girl, take two drinks. Every time Rudy steps on the field, finish your cup.

  4. Attend soccer games wearing your team’s jersey, yelling football stuff like, “Gotta go for 2 points here, coach!” and criticizing the opposition’s special teams unit. Enter into spirited conversation with fellow fans about which sport is the “real football.” Invent some ridiculous justification for why you play football with your hands and soccer with your feet.

  5. Start a Clay Travis anti-fan club called the Clayters. Enter into bidding war with opposing anti-Clay group to purchase the online domain, www.claytravisshamockery.com. Have t-shirts made saying “Clayters gon’ Clate.” Sell them online. Donate profits to a worthwhile charity.

  6. Avoid Saturday morning antique shopping by playing DVRd games, convincing your wife it’s still football season.

  7. Start working on next year’s NFL fantasy drafting order.

  8. Start a $5 buy-in fantasy Australian rules football (yes, Kentucky fans, that’s a thing) league in your office.

  9. Make lists of things to do now that football is over.

Written by Clay Travis

OutKick founder, host and author. He's presently banned from appearing on both CNN and ESPN because he’s too honest for both.