Veronika Rajek Is Pumped For The Super Bowl: Part 2, Baby Burrow & SUV Ends Up In Snow Pile
You guys requested more work from Jeremy M., so here you go!
You might remember Jeremy M. as the emailer who wrote about craft beer snobs and blew me away with his work. Saturday, he turned in his latest email. I didn't want to waste it on Sunday morning when many of you aren't paying attention to Screencaps. I didn't want to run it first thing Monday morning because there was so much to recap after a busy weekend of material.
So here we are Tuesday morning and our resident Mark Twain has thoughts he'd like to share. I'm telling you guys, there's a very short list of people I'd trust to guest edit Screencaps while I'm golfing this summer, and Jeremy's on the list.
Jeremy M. from Summerville, SC writes (Ed. note: emphasis mine):
The love of woodworking
In my first submission to the OK community, Joe opined what I happened to do for a living. Some earn their living pouring cement, others own a gutter installation company, but I would guess many of you are in the same boat as I am. I sit in front of a computer for a living. That's a bit unfair to many of us, but it's true. I get paid to type, click, and attend zoom meetings. The old man missing teeth and slurring his words at noon in the pub isn't impressed by my ability to save excel files as csv or write SQL.
Similar to your 27 year-old nephew, whom your sister or brother won't let him leave the house until he finally gets that kick-ass job as a park ranger, I sit in front of a screen far too much. I'm proud of the work I do, I get paid well, but it can be unfulfilling. Like an Instagram model with thin eyebrows, I need more.
The office life, filled with its bagels, donuts, and portly ladies who leave candy bowls in exchange for small talk, can leave my testosterone levels at an Al Bundy after a shift at Gary's shoes level.
My wife and I moved from our one-bedroom apartment after a few years of being the filling of an oreo in a 3 story condo building . We moved after a few years of dealing with contact high from my neighbor who treated everyday like it was 4:20, and the ladies upstairs who seemed to put their heels on as the first thing they'd do before getting ready for the club for two hours.
We signed a lease for a two-bedroom apartment. For the first time in my life, I had a spare bedroom. We were childless at the time, and she said I should turn the extra room into a man cave of sorts. It didn't stay that way, as the ingredients for her never-completed Pinterest-inspired projects ate away at the room like a couple of tall cans eat away at your insistence that you won't shoot Fireball tonight.
My first action in making that room my own was to build a table. I know I could spend $10 on an Ikea table like the one in college, but it can't be hard to make one on my own right? It's four legs and a top.
I lost count of the Home Depot runs. I bought a miter saw, a circular saw, a jigsaw, a sander, every grit sandpaper known to man, and enough screws to make Madonna jealous. Sure, I got wood glue all over my dainty hands, and sawdust in my screen-made blurry eyes, but I did it. $300 (this was before Bidenflation) to clone a $10 table was worth every penny, and I loved every minute of it.
I began making all kinds of things, surely to the dismay of my neighbors whose husbands would be drawn to the siren song of a table saw.
There are long days filled with pronouns in people's email signatures, sentences that end with "that would be great", and zoom meetings with folks who insist your camera is on, so you have to hide your 11 a.m. beer in a coffee cup. At the end of those days, I can throw on a toolbelt, battery into my impact like your nephew reloads his video game SMG, and walk out to my garage with the libido of Al Bundy when "Bad to the Bone" hits.
I've included a photo of my most ambitious woodworking accomplishment, which I've subsequently sold after I realized I'm not a hipster.
• Rob in NJ has thoughts on my NASCAR takes:
Salut Joe,
You definitely have a good point about how NASCAR going woke could be a significant disaster for them.
I do think it’s a situation where they were put in the wall, though. Obviously, as any of us could guess, the big key there is attracting sponsors and keeping them happy. In a day and age where corporations are virtue signaling embracing wokeness on a regular basis, NASCAR is taking a CYA route.
But once they end up alienating a significant portion of their fanbase and the woke sponsors no longer stick around, is it really worth it?
Hope all else is well with you — hoping for the best for your Bengals this weekend.
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Great points by Rob. I will say that if going woke is a strategy to keep sponsors happy and still investing in racing operations, it's not working very well for NASCAR. Woke M&Ms announced in December that it's leaving the sport. It's going to be fascinating to see how NASCAR handles its future, especially with the aging Dale Sr. population fading away fast and a younger middle-class population being pinched financially.
• Mike T. and Cindy T. want me to see the sunset off their deck this winter in Puerto Vallarta. Ridiculous! I can picture Mike T. turning up the Yacht Rock, kicking up his feet, and sipping on yet another Modelo as Cindy T. sits there thinking up their next adventure in life while looking out across the Bahia de Banderas at the glorious orange hues that have a distinct Cincinnati Bengals jersey scheme going on.
• The gas vs. charcoal debate rages on and Guy G. in western New York is officially here with an email. This is the guy who stockpiles 12 cords of wood for winter. This guy is a cooking machine. I've seen the photos. I've seen the grills.
Guy writes:
This debate has become too narrow. My buddies are ready to stage an intervention due to my collection. If it cooks meat, and you can figure it out, they’re all great.
That said, I do have 2 favorites. First would be the trailer smoker. All wood, every time. It’ll fit a 200lb pig, cook using about 2lb of wood an hour, and will hold 250* forever. Only good for big time cooking, so it’s only used a couple times a year. But, when it’s fired up, I use it for days!
Second would be the put. Another one that is too big to use all the time. It’ll hold 225 half chickens, and has some ribs and brisket…even clams. This one is straight charcoal, and uses a ton. Can’t feed it enough! Secondarily, kids get to roast marshmallows perfectly after dinner.
Finally, small stick burner, then charcoal, pellet smoker, then gas is how I would rate them. No one should ever rush their cook. While I travel until Saturday, I do get to be home for Valentine’s Day with the wife. I’ll be reverse searing bison ribeye over wood. It’ll be done when it’s done.
The slower the better for me. Sit around the fire, even if I have to shovel 2 feet of snow off the deck, and enjoy the time and drinks.
• Craig V. has some opinions on the 'Feeling Accomplished' theme I rolled out Monday morning:
If I may add a couple of things to your feeling accomplished list:
2a. When you have completed a mow and have edged as well. And you can enjoy that beer while admiring no grass growing over your driveway, walkway or sidewalk.
Not to go down the rabbit hole of the gas vs. charcoal debate but I think the take should be this…regardless of what you use, it should be a year-round thing. I loved seeing Daryl from Indy representing the 317 and the Weber Spirit 310 last week in the snowstorm. A little snow and sub-zero wind chills didn’t slow me down from making chicken and burgers last week.
LGB!
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Great additions to the list, Craig. Both are major moments in any guy's year. While women get excited over buying a blouse for $5 after it had a $150 sticker price, us men know exactly how it feels to get an edge in. I can feel it in my bones.
Do you guys walk out to the front of your house to look at your mowing accomplishments? I'll answer that for you: YES, YOU DO. I have the TNML photos to prove it. I used to think I was crazy for going out on the sidewalk to get a good look at my work. Now I know it's just a guy thing.
• Paul B. wants to have a word with Rams fan Michael J. who took a shot at the Packers:
Why the Packers hate??? So, does being a Bears fan qualify for “Do hard things”?
• Mike in Pasadena is also back to fire away at Michael J.:
Rams fan Michael J. didn't get me riled up about not being a Bears fan, Michael J got me riled up for blurting out "Rams by 30", which is a silly statement to make to a lifelong Bengals fan relishing in the moment.
You can choose to be a fan of any team or franchise in the league, but being a BEARS fan, especially when you're from Chicago, is a different experience altogether, which is what I was trying to get across. Hence your Dad being a bit miffed that most of you have chosen other teams.
I won't bother with all of the hypotheticals you've laid out, but I will agree 100% - we do hate the Packers.
• And Phil H. is still taking heat over his email aimed at the charcoal grilling community. This time it's Jon U. who wants to have a word with Phil.
Joe,
Jon from Dahlonega here. Phil, who wrote in today, is the male equivalent of a Karen, I’m fairly certain. He’s that guy that no one really wants hanging around because he thinks he knows everything and isn’t really that fun.
To his specific points, if people choose to drink NA beer, it isn’t necessarily because they are an alcoholic. It could be that they don’t want to drink and drive, or maybe that they want to go easy during a day of playing or watching sports. There are any number of reasons. If one chooses to drink NA beer, I have found that Heineken, which truly has 0.0% alcohol, is quite enjoyable and frankly better than the real Heineken. Also, if someone is abstaining because they are having alcohol issues or have decided to stop drinking, having a cold beer in your hand helps that person avoid the stigma of “why is so-and-so not drinking”, and can make them feel more like the rest of the people in the party.
Concerning grilling, his point of chefs not using charcoal is without merit. It is much harder to grill indoors for obvious reasons, but Weber’s restaurant in the Chicago area is an excellent example of a restaurant that uses charcoal. His comment about a five-minute steak being better than smoking a brisket for 12 hours is just plain ignorant. One isn’t necessarily better than another – they are two different forms of beef. A brisket is a tougher piece of meat but when smoked for several hours – is delicious.
Phil should just stay in his little kitchen with his frying pan and steaks, his full-bodied Pabst Blue Ribbons and no friends and stop annoying all of us with his moronic comments.
• John S. would also like a word with Phil H.:
Phil H is way off base on grilling. I'm not even sure he knows what grilling is. Where is Phil H from? Obviously he isn't from the South where cooking various meats outdoors is a lifestyle. Smoke is an essential part of grilling. You don't get that from a gas flame. Most restaurants cook their steaks in an electric infrared oven called a salamander, but admit a charcoal or hardwood fire is better. They use gas or electricity for convenience. Charcoal or a hardwood fire inside is very dangerous.
Brisket isn't grilled at all, they are smoked over indirect heat. Traeger and the other pellet grille are simply for amateurs.
• And finally today, Sam L. goes after LSU fan Joe in Fulshear, TX who called out Dawgs fans. It's been a wild few days around here in the emails.
Here's my response to Joe from TX (LSU hack):
Its quite amazing to see a fan base that chased out their Natty coach for someone that has only 3 wins against the SEC..... Uh, that would be one against Vandy. And, oh no, two against LSU. So far, your new coach is known more for fake accents and grinding on future Bama recruits.
Worry about if NOLA government will cancel Mardis Gras again because they are scared of China.
Oh, didn't Mercedes abandon naming rights for your ancient decrept shit hole dome for Atlanta?
I just checked..... UGA is still the National Champion today. You. Are. Not.
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Grilling Side Note: I have BGE. When I do pulled pork, ribs, steaks, or pizza - I will use. It can do low and slow OR 600 degrees for pizza. But when its just me alone, I turn on my silly $30 green can propane mini-grill - it makes the night pork chop/hamburger cooking go quick.
That said, I did buy a large Pill Boss griddle last summer. I was able to do the family cookout last 4th of July very quickly. Burgers/Hot Dogs/Philly Cheesesteaks. Bottom line - Use whatever tool you have to make great food. Don't act like jihadists on *how* to cook food. That's how the Middle East runs.
• Love the emotions. Love the variety of topics you guys are responding to. And I really love the thought put into the emails. You guys don't just respond, "Joe in Texas IS AN IDIOT!"
There's actual thought that goes into the email. There are actual rebuttals. I've had emailers tell me how I should just open up a Screencaps message board or Slack channel. The beauty of the email is that the emailer has that one shot to get it right. He/she isn't firing off 20 message board responses over five hours.
Like I've said, when the Internet zigs, I like to zag. It's proven to work for well over a decade now and I have no intentions of changing up my methodology.
Email: joekinsey@gmail.com