Velveeta Sued By Florida Woman Over ‘Ready To Prepare’ Time

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A Florida woman is suing Velveeta’s parent company because her cup of Velveeta shells and cheese took longer to make than it said on the cup.

While most would find this to be a minor inconvenience, Amanda Ramirez of Hialeah, Florida decided it was worth litigating. She filed a class-action suit against Kraft Heinz Foods Company in the Southern District of Florida’s Miami Division.

Ramirez’s beef is that the cup says the meal would be ready to eat in mere 3-and-a-half minutes.

Not so, she says.

Her suit claims that “’ready in 3 1/2 minutes’ is false and misleading because the product takes longer than the 3-and-a-half minutes to prepare for consumption.'”

That’s the amount it takes for just one of the myriad of steps it takes to complete a cup of shells and cheese.

She’s Kind Of Right… But Marginally Right

Alright so technically she’s correct. It probably takes anywhere from 4 minutes to 5 minutes and 15 seconds.

Did she miss an important business meeting because she was waiting for her Velveeta shells and cheese but had only budgeted in 3 and a half minutes?

There’s also the matter of the microwave. What kind of wattage are we working with? If she’s trying to cook it in an 800-watter you’ll be tapping your watch waiting for your food to cook.

However, if you crank up a 1200-watt model it’ll fire up so fast you’ll wonder if you should be wearing one of those heavy lead vests like you find at the dentist’s office as a safety precaution.

In addition to the time it takes to make the food, Ramierez has a problem with what those shysters at Velveeta are charging for their product. She says that an 8-pack of shells and cheese will run you $10.99 which is more than other brands.

The suit refers to that as a “premium price.” In fairness to Velveeta, there is a hierarchy when it comes to mac and cheese. Velveeta comes in below homemade or restaurant-style but is several sports above Easy Mac.

That stuff is trash. Just because you ate it as a child doesn’t make it good.

Is Velveeta shaking in its cheesy boots at the prospect of facing this lawsuit?

Not according to what they told Fox Business.

“We are aware of this frivolous lawsuit and will strongly defend against the allegations in the complaint,” the company said.

Follow on Twitter: @Matt_Reigle

Written by Matt Reigle

Matt is a University of Central Florida graduate and a long-suffering Philadelphia Flyers fan living in Orlando, Florida. He can usually be heard playing guitar, shoe-horning obscure quotes from The Simpsons into conversations, or giving dissertations to captive audiences on why Iron Maiden is the greatest band of all time.


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