UFC Legend Arianny Celeste Becomes One With Nature, Sad Bears Fans & Mountaineers Fans Sing Their Hearts Out After Big Win

It hit me this morning…in 2022, we really have a really cool place on the Internet where guys can be guys

Last night I was on a text exchange with the $28 Taco Bell Guy from Fox Business the other day and this morning it’s my job to piece together a column that you guys will read in your work trucks, in your offices, on military bases and in different parts of the world.

This really is the greatest job I could’ve possibly created for myself nearly 15 years ago when I began my full-time Internet journey. It’s still a huge blur as to how I got to this point morning where I’m sitting here watching a guy throw slabs of meat onto coals and it’s all part of my job.

All I can do is shake my head and laugh.

That brings me to an email I received this morning at 3:46 a.m. from Oscar. I don’t know if Oscar wrote the email on his third-shift lunch break or if Oscar is on the west coast. I don’t know if Oscar is just a late-night, early-morning type of guy.
You guessed it. Another Hildeeeeee email.

Once again, I cannot believe this is where my career has taken me, but I love that Oscar, who goes by ‘Screencapsreader’ on email, has a place where he can express himself like this.

Oscar writes:

Today’s screencaps had a new Hildee and she had several pictures in that post but she didn’t show her belly button. Is it possible she reads your column due to traffic she has gotten from it?

Unlike most of the readers, I actually like her unique belly button. The reason is that so many of these Instagram models work so hard to look so similar to each other with many even getting plastic surgeries. So for her to have something that makes her look so much different and be a potential distraction but not try to change it means something. I like the idea that she has a feature that “looks weird” that she didn’t try to change with surgery or always covering it up.

If she does read this, then I hope she knows that she doesn’t have to be ashamed of her belly button.

Oscar wasn’t the only one to pick up on the belly button coverage

• Mark D., the guy who started this whole thing, writes:

Joe I am roaring. Did you notice the pics of Hildee today you sent out ? Her belly button is completely covered !!! Is Hildee a screencapp reader ?? Lol

Mark added:

Am I wrong to feel a tad bit guilty.

What a twist this theme has taken.

TNF is a trainwreck

• Heywood J. writes:

Remember when everyone became so irate about last week’s game being 6-3 at Halftime?

How we long for those good old days.

I fell asleep in the third quarter. I can’t tell if it was just the power of the basement reclining couch with the fuzzy pillows piled up next to me or the power of two of the shittiest offenses in the history of the NFL that put me out.

One note from the game: You can tell Al Michaels is getting frustrated. Yes, he’s making a huge pile of Amazon money and has weekends off to screw around with his rich friends, but these games are torturing this poor guy. You can hear the disdain in his voice.

TNML in Italy

• Mike T. in Idaho is in Italy and here’s what he found on his first Italian Thursday league night:

I don’t mean to disrespect our team members in Italy, but unfortunately most of the lawns I’ve seen in Italy look like this.

Tats, tats, tats, tats!

• Richard B. breaks down the tat phenomenon in great detail. This might serve as the Screencaps Bible on Tattoos:

Hey, Joe; hope you are well. I’m sure you’ve had a mailbox full on this, but let me give you my two theories on tattoos…one in general, and one for women. I will then close with some rules/observations. Full disclosure: I’m 52, and have no tattoos, nor does my wife. I believe very strongly in personal freedom, but that freedom comes with accountability. 

My over-arching rule with tattoos, which I have shared with younger relatives and my child is this: tattoos are permanent indications of a temporary interest. I use the 5-year window to illustrate…imagine you got a tattoo every five years of your life. At 5, mine probably would have been some Sesame Street character or The Fonz.

At 10, it probably would have been Chewbacca or the Dukes of Hazzard. At 15, probably some hair metal band or metal band mascot, like Eddie from Iron Maiden.

At 20, probably some ultra-cringe from the early 1990s, like a tribal/barb-wire arm tatt. You get my point…I would absolutely hate/be embarrassed every one of these tattoos now, and likely even within the five year window.

So, the point is: think very hard before you put something permanent on your body. I do tend to make exceptions for shared experience tattoos, like military personnel, or even the occasional fraternity tattoo. I’m also generally OK with small remembrances of a lost loved one…more genuine commitment than the peeling vinyl sticker on the Pontiac Aztek. 

For women, and another reader touched on this, tattoos fall into the category of what I call “permissive indicators”. These are things/behaviors that, as suggested, indicate that a woman is more likely to make bad decisions, including potentially in hooking up with you.

Smoking, style of dress, tattoos, body piercings/modifications, etc. When you see these, or a combination of them, out in the wild, you can use them to discern potential hookups with alarming accuracy. But, caveat emptor, as you’re not going to be the first explorer to plant his flag there, either, and you may wake up in a small version of hell.

This actually works for women to a degree, too, as multiple bad decision indicators for a man might make for a fun weekend, but likely not a good marriage. 

In closing, some rules/observations:

  1. Never, ever put a lover’s/significant other’s name on your body, unless you want to guarantee that relationship goes down like the Hindenburg. 
  2. Put as much care into your choice of tattoo artist as your choice of tattoo. The only thing worse than a bad tatt concept is prison-level execution.
  3. Same for portraits. These are hard for actual artists to pull off on a stationary, inorganic medium.  
  4. Do not put a tattoo on any body part you cannot keep from expanding/contracting greatly over time. Ladies, that belly button tatt will fare worse in pregnancy than the actual exit. You don’t want the funhouse mirror on your body.
  5. In the same vein, have fun in the nursing home trying to explain the unintelligible melty crayola smears all over your body.  
  6. Do not ever get a tattoo in a foreign language in which you are not fluent. You only think you got the Chinese characters for “love and hope”.

In short, if you really feel like you want to try it, get a henna tattoo first. Better yet, just get a t-shirt or a sticker to put on your beater truck/cooler/garage fridge to memorialize the thing/place/feeling instead. 

• Connor in Iowa writes:

This is Connor A from Iowa, and I wanted to answer the call for how members of the Screencaps community regard tattoos. Full disclosure, I have tattoos, and each one of them has meaning. It’s my opinion that tattoos should be a means to externalize one’s passions and beliefs, hence why there are many people with Bible verses, references to their children, and military symbols tattooed on their bodies.  

With that said, there is a point where the number of tattoos on someone gets ridiculous. Ink on the neck and hands is the absolute stopping point for me.

Anyone who has tattoos or is thinking about getting one (or more) should ask themselves these questions:

  1. How does this tattoo reflect my values, passions, and beliefs?
  2. How will other people view and interpret my tattoo, fairly and unfairly?
  3. What is the impact of this tattoo on my self-respect?
  4. Will it change a relative, friend, co-worker, or colleague’s view of me?

Thank you for continually making Screencaps the best of part of the morning. I love seeing the projects that people take on and the accomplishments they post behind the mantra of “Do Hard Things.”

As someone in the Millennial generation, can we do a Millennial Week where members of my generation post projects they’ve worked on around the house, garage, neighborhood, etc.? I think it would be inspiring for the entire Screencaps community and assure older generations that we’re not a bunch of bums.

What an absolutely brilliant idea. Let’s set a date for Millennial Week: November 7-11.

Get those projects completed. Get photos. Show the Baby Boomers that you guys aren’t messing around and you’re ready to carry the torch once us Gen Xers die off.

• Brian B. in Atlanta writes on tats:

My feeling on tats is that they are a permanent reminder of a (in most cases) temporary feeling. Having said that, one of my daughters wants her late mother’s handwriting as a tatoo in a small, inconspicuous spot. I get the sentiment on that and with it hidden will not stand out when she has a career.

• Danny K. in Georgia fired off multiple emails last night, but this one includes tats:

Just a quick shout out at the tattoos and woodpiles!! Too many tattoos is tacky if you ask me! They should definitely have meaning before even considering one! I think people sometimes over do them before they think about how long it will be there!!#forever!!!!!

I have a skeleton keyhole and my beautiful wife of 23 years!! Has a skeleton key!! She holds the key to me always and forever!! Little cheesy but with out a strong women I think you can’t be a strong man!!! Just a opinion!! As for woodpiles!!

Keep stacking them higher because in todays world so many people need a trip behind them!!!!!!!l. [ us old timers know exactly the meaning!] keep up the great work!! And screencaps nation keep on keeping on!!

Ps — I can’t get a T-shirt fast enough!! Regardless of the slogan!!!

Guns and a possible trip to Buffalo for a Bills Mafia experience

• Millennial Griff in Minneapolis is back:

Good morrow Joe!  You have dubbed me Millennial Griff and I shall cling to that moniker like a Viking to his sword!  I am honored and humbled by your response in the 9/27/22 edition of ‘Caps.  To which, I am here for all of it.  What we do in life echoes in eternity!

Geoff R. in Tennessee had a question about guns and as a gun owner myself, the best advice I can give is to try testing some different 9mm handguns out at your local range (many have ones to rent) and get what is most comfortable to you.  For me, it was all about what I was most comfortable (read: accurate) shooting, which ended up being a Sig Sauer P226 9mm.  My father swears by Glocks (which are also great) but the fit just wasn’t right for me.  But the Sig Sauer route worked out great and then led me to the Sig R556, which is a tactical .223/5.56 rifle.  It has the same bolt-piston gas system as an AK-47; meaning its really easy to maintain, rarely jams and is extremely comfortable…Hellen Keller on a rollercoaster could take something out with it.  I suggest you give a Sig 9mm a try if you can get your hands on one to test fire.  Best of luck in your weaponry hunt!

I have a question for the western New Yorkers.  I am making my inaugural pilgrimage to the land of Bills Mafia to watch my purple squad take on Buffalo in November and I couldn’t be more excited.  The Google machine tells me that the “Hammer Lot” is where you can see Superfan Pinto Ron ceremoniously douse himself in ketchup and mustard before every game, which sounds hilarious. 

But where’s the best place to see some top-rope table-busting and general pre-game tailgating debauchery?  Would love any recommendations the community has for Bills pregame, or for just Buffalo in general.  Thanks Joe and farewell!

Help Millennial Griff and those who are thinking of venturing into Orchard Park. I’ve never been to Ralph Wilson so this is out of my league.

Email: joekinsey@gmail.com

Use those leftover beers this weekend

Cleaning out the garage fridge so you’ll have space for all those Thanksgiving sides? Don’t throw those old beers into the trash. Use them wisely.

A word of advice to the lib libs who think TNML hates the bees

• Guy G. writes:

As a founding member of TNML, I cut around 20 acres/week. I carefully manicure my lawns and recreation areas, and cut the bocce court and chipping green daily. I water and fertilize more than a hidden country home probably should. We live happy lives, make our own food, hunt and fish. We’re staunchly conservative south of Buffalo, NY.

We love our bees. We get excited in June, when bees start to swarm, and try to add them  to our hives. We have 5 areas that we have cut out on brush edges, and in the woods, to keep the hives safe from the brutal winter winds, feed them through the winter, and make sure that there are plenty of pollinating plants.

This does restrict my Roundup use to just before the rain, and kids need to be taught to look and not touch. But, they provide my wife’s tea sweetener, and a natural sugar in her baking.

My yard and property is not a sin. The bees live around us, no matter what we do. New trails, thinning of trees, elimination of dandelions, or wholesale movement of the hives.

Save the honeybee!!

And with that, let’s have an incredible weekend. I’m jealous of all you who are heading to Bama-UT. Send me photos, please. Tailgate photos. Photos of people having fun. Screencaps photos.

Take care.

Email: joekinsey@gmail.com

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Written by Joe Kinsey

I'm an Ohio guy, born in Dayton, who roots for Ohio State and can handle you guys destroying the Buckeyes, Urban Meyer and everything associated with Columbus.

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