Joe Kinsey
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You guys love a good investigation, so let’s dive into the real drama from Super Bowl LV. It comes in the form of…’Did Tony Romo leave a pee spot after not jiggling it enough?’ That’s right, this is exactly why Clay hired me in the summer of 2020. He gave me specific orders to dive into the underbelly of the Internet and smoke out the real stories you guys will be talking about at the water cooler.
So here’s the intel we have on this one. Tony Romo had a very distinctive wet spot on his pants as CBS went to a booth two shot of Nantz and Tony, who, as you can see, attempts to keep his hands over the alleged peepee spot, but it’s the Super Bowl and the guy has to move his hands.
This was after the halftime show when Romo would’ve been out of that booth taking a whizz.
Oh no 😳 pic.twitter.com/5KVM8VADeR
— Joe Kinsey (@JoeKinseyexp) February 8, 2021
Now, I know the truthers will say it was a Pepsi bottle sweat drip, or a mayo stain as some have claimed, but those theories don’t hold much weight.
Dr. Stacy Loeb, Assistant Professor of Urology and Population Health at New York University, has addressed the problem of pesky drips and has advice on how to prevent them.
“It is important to make sure there is no constriction around the urethra while you are trying to urinate,” she told Thrillist for a piece unrelated to Romo’s (alleged) peepee spot. “You need to relax completely and be patient in the bathroom until you are completely finished urinating. Many young people are in a hurry and simply do not empty their urine all the way.”
Dr. Ben Brucker, Assistant Professor of Urology and Obstetrics & Gynecology at NYU Langone Medical Center, says your dong is to blame for those spots that one day end up on Super Bowl slacks.
“Most of the difficulty comes from the male anatomy—the penis and the prostatic urethra—which make up the sort of passageway to the penis that is actually quite long. The phallus can be several inches and the prostate a few inches on top of that.
“The urethra is not contractile, it’s just a tube. So, once you’re done squeezing, those last few drops are like a hose in the backyard—once you turn off the spigot, there’s always some fluid trapped in the hose that will dump out after the fact.”
So there it is, Tony Romo (allegedly) was a victim of his own penis at a horrible time in front of millions of viewers around the world.
There is, however, one thing Romo could’ve done differently to have prevented the pee spot, according to the doctors. He could’ve sat down to take a leak. Lesson learned, Romo.
Sat down…to….pee?
Only if ya poopin, too. I stand for the Anthem and I stand for #1.
Tony was probably counting on dudes not staring at his crotch. That’s my guess.
Yep.