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If there’s one thing short dudes aren’t big on — aside from “in stature” — it’s having their height made fun of. NFL Network’s Ian Rapoport got this treatment on air from his colleague Tom Pelissero.
He did Rapoport dirty during a live hit from the NFL’s annual league meeting in Phoenix. He pointed out that the NFL insider was standing on a box to make him the same height as the others in the shot.
While Rapsheet was trying to talk about where Odell Beckham Jr. could sign (because we didn’t do that enough last season) Pelissero fired a shot below the belt.
Which means it had to be very, very low.
“Big-time receivers, some of us are small-time insiders who are standing on a box to look the same size as the other guys, Steve (Wyche).”
He told Rapoport to literally get off of his soapbox (perhaps a milk or apple crate), which Rapoport refused. He did however own up to being perched atop the box.
Ian Rapoport: Unashamed Short King
I’m what people — and by people, I mean me — call the “perfect height.” That’s 5-foot-10 and change.
It’s a perfectly average height which means I never get short jokes and I never get the “How’s the weather up there?” cracks that the tall fellas get.
I can also reach things, don’t have to duck going through doorways, and can sit relatively comfortably on airplanes.
It’s 5-foot-10 is the Goldilocks Zone for height. These are just facts.
However, one thing I can’t do is relate to Ian Rapoport when comes to standing on boxes or being made fun of due to my height because, as I said, it’s perfect. Having said that, I still don’t think Rapoport should be ashamed at all.
Do you know who else stood on a box? Humphrey Bogart, when he was talking to Ingrid Bergman next to that plane in Casablanca. I’m pretty sure Short King Tom Cruise has stood on a box or two in his day. I think it was during his marriage to Nicole Kidman, but he probably did it in movies too.
Those are the only two examples I can think of, but still, not bad company to be in.
Follow on Twitter: @Matt_Reigle