It’s a bad time of year for insecure boyfriends.
British TikTok star Pia Blossom revealed last week that she was dumped by a boyfriend after going out partying in a slutty Playboy bunny costume only to trade it with a guy wearing an egg costume.
Guys, it doesn’t mean she slept with the guy. It’s Halloween. It’s going to get crazy out there. Either you get over insecurities associated with your girlfriend going as a bloody, slutty bunny or you need to take a hike.
In Blossom’s case, her boyfriend dumped her by the end of the night.
Did the bunny costume show off part of Blossom’s booty? Yes, but the self-described “plus-size model” was just doing her duty of sexing up the worldwide holiday.
“My very new boyfriend was angling for an invite on this night out, but I was only going out with two girls,” Blossom explained on her TikTok video. “I ignored his hints because it would have just been weird, but when I posted [the costume] on my Instagram before going out, he text me saying, ‘Are you actually wearing that outside? I can see your whole arse.’”
“I’m like, ‘I know, it’s great.'”
Eventually, Ms. Blossom ended up at a club and she ran into a guy wearing an egg costume. The two hit it off and she ended up in the costume after a negotiated trade-off.
“I literally put the egg costume on over the top and took my leotard out from underneath. I mistakenly thought that my boyfriend would love this because now I have no boobs and no bum [showing],” Blossom noted.
Then she dumped out some fresh egg costume Instagram Story content. Her ridiculous boyfriend went nuts and dumped her.
“He’s like, ‘Whose costume is that?!’” Blossom recalled. “I said, ‘I don’t know, I thought you’d like it! You can’t see my boobs or my bum anymore — I’m an egg.”
That was it.
The drama queen boyfriend dumped her and now she’s a TikTok sensation who has racked up nearly nine-million views.
Guys, you have to understand what Halloween means to extrovert women. They’re going to go as slutty nurses. They’re going to go as slutty Girl Scout pack leaders. They’re going to back the blue and dress up as slutty police officers looking to slap the cuffs on offenders.
Make sure you answer these relationship insecurity Halloween risk-evaluation questions
- Are you going to marry this woman?
- Would you be willing to risk half of your 401k on this woman?
- Does this woman have a criminal record?
- Do I see myself with this woman through Christmas?
- Does this woman let me play 36 with the boys after I claim it’ll just be 18?
- How does this woman react when she starts doing panty dropper shots?
Bro, why does she need to go to the club as a slutty racecar driver?
Because they’re wired to need attention.
Bro, I give her attention! Tons of it!!
Guys, get out of relationships if you’re a mental mess over girlfriends and Halloween. There is no way a marriage will work if you can’t trust your girlfriend after she slaps on that slutty maid costume.
Now, if you can tell her to be careful, have an awesome time, and text if she needs a ride, then you just might be ready for marriage. If she comes home at a decent hour with a slight buzz and her slutty lipstick isn’t a mess, there’s a good chance she won’t take half your 401k and the SUV.
You’ll want to marry this type of woman.
Time is running out. Do those evaluations. It’s going to be a rough week for the insecure.