Thursday Night Mowing League: April Is Finished

TNML Commissioner’s Report:

Let's start off by saying it was way too cold for the final mow of April. It was more like late November here in NW Ohio, but I got a half-assed mow in so I could get into the command center for the NFL Draft. Am I proud of a half-assed mow? Not in the least. I've looked at it multiple times today, and it has me completely triggered because I need to trim, bag and edge to get it right.

However, it was nice to give the old Toro/Briggs & Stratton some early-season attention. A new air filter went in. New oil lube. Checked the spark plug. One pull and we were up and running.

One other thing struck me last night as I was getting ready to lay some stripes -- it was so quiet in the neighborhood. I was the only one mowing on league night. It was almost eerie how quiet it was as neighbors huddled around their heater vents.

Mother Nature needs to get her ass in gear. Bring the heat, ol' girl.

• I want to say thanks to my old friend & professional hockey player Cody Lampl who served as this week's honorary starter from all the way over in Germany. For the hockey fans in the community, Lampl served as Moritz Seider's mentor during the 2018-19 season when the two were teammates in Manheim. Seider, who was like 17 or 18 as Lamps was coaching him up, is expected to win the NHL's Rookie of the Year award.

Lamps is one helluva good guy. It was great to hear him give the command.

That's about it this week. Next week is the vocational school plant sale, so I'm about to have a garage full of flowers that will go in Mother's Day weekend. Seriously, it's about to be balls to the walls around here.


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TNML Reports:

• Let's start the reports with crowd favorite Beau in Toledo, one of the founders of this beautiful league, getting his first mow in of the season.

Hey Kids!!I hope Your Spring is going good!

I see Our Fam in the Northern Plains(i gotta get there) have been getting more workouts with snow plows and snow blowers than anticipated during the Fourth Month, but weather is like that sometimes... Stick with it, Fam: #SnowStripes and #GreenStripes are only different based on the measurements from a colorimeter (not a term made up by a #DaddyPop swilling '13'r, btw... we'll skip the thermal underlinings vs. jorts and yacht club party shirts with the sleeves cut off debate for later).

That being said, you climate alarmists can just go ahead and pound sand right now... "climate change" was a thing before we bi-peds were in loin-cloths (which are more comfortable than you'd think ftr, but I'm not getting rid of my @DuluthTradingCo boxer briefs).

Leave it to me that my first Sponsor Drop of the #22TNMLSeason was my underwear... SWIDT  :)

Been busy hanging out with Pops before His big move from the 419 to the 919 (DON'T F*CKING BLINK!!!), so i got a late start... not a big deal for my yard, as it's been too wet to mess with anyway, but the Little Woman's Maumee yard was dang near a jungle.But fear not,(see 1st pic) the @BriggsStratton on the #ToroRecyler from @SylvaniaMower fired right up, because, of course, B&S engines and no ethanol aircraft fuel!

I was doing Thursday Night right, crushin' cans and layin' stripes!

The @stihlusa trimmer fired right up, as per usual, and since the @husqvarnausa leaf blower was used multiple times during the winter, it never really slept. Speaking of not sleeping, as I'm typing at 2220 hrs, I can hear the F-16's from the @180thfw, and they're probably over Commissioner Joe's House, waking him up. God Bless Our Military!

The 2nd pic...Does Anyone remember what a Rorschach test is? That pic says FU2022 to me.That was the oil I found on the floor when I pulled the #FrankenMower out of the shed for the first time this year. But, alas, Meh.

Indy Daryl's Mom said DO HARD THINGS. My Pops taught me how to fix things.

Seems more fitting now than, since well, somewhere in the late 1700's.

We Got This, #TNMLNation

Keep Up the Beautiful Work

• Adam W. in Sidney, NE writes:

Tough night for the Outkick TNML Craftsman mowing team. After another week of no rain, the backyard had a few good laps. Had some new sponsors on the this week, but had to start and park. Just didn’t have it tonight.


It actually looks like Adam's racing. Nice touch. Great photo.

• Tony DeB. in Cincy reports:

Some people like those stripe lines, but for me, it’s all about those edge lines.

By the way, interesting article in WSJ about battery lawn equipment. It’s one thing for residential consumers to cut their lawn with a battery mower, but can you imagine a commercial business having to power everything with a fleet of batteries? Come 2024, Screencaps readers in CA won’t have a choice, and some localities have already mandated it for faux-environmental virtue signaling.


Frankly, I'm surprised California hasn't outlawed grass. That's the next step: no mowers. No gas-powered cars. What else can they ban? I'm sure there's a long list I'm not thinking of this morning.

• JB H. writes:

Need to preface my comments.

I, among everyone with a soul, sincerely appreciate the initiative getting the TNML started and the continued effort of stoking the fire of freedom in the yard.  The effort has not been lost me.  It is refreshing and the US of A needs this kind of positivity on all levels.  Pride.  Discipline.  Can do attitude.  Green grass forever.  

Therefore,  I respectfully request that no one take the below commentary as anything other than an effort to further expand the inspiration of TNML to everyone.  No further agenda.

Yesterday was Wednesday.  I made it a point to take care of business and attack the green grass.

While attacking, I asked myself, “why am I slaving on Wednesday and not Thursday which is the league standard?”  The answer immediately washed over me…

Thinking “The NFL draft is tomorrow.  I can’t be out here dealing with making the place look great when there are other opportunities that need attention…”  Which took me down a deeper path…. (which is the entire point of losing yourself in the green grass for a brief and fleeting moment of reflection).  

So, here’s the truth as best I can discern -

TNML isn’t about the day (Thursday).  It’s about planning.  It’s about vision.  It’s about looking ahead to what needs to be done and when best to do it so you can make the most of every opportunity. 

Business.  Bills.  Spouse.  Kids.  School.  Golf.  Fishing.  Games. Could go on forever.  We all know the list is endless and all-important…

Set priorities and honor them.  Days are long.  Years go fast.

Therefore, I’ve concluded that we should all encourage everyone as best we can and never, ever, give up trying to make it count.  (Saying this to myself as I type…). Regardless the day!

Take Pride. Everyday.  Green Grass and TNML forever!  


Well said, JB H., but don't let me catch you skipping too many Thursdays and mowing on Saturday. HUGE no-no!

• Matt M. in Huntersville, NC writes:

New member. My son Louis - first time cutting grass. Thursday night, baby!!!


I want to stop right here. Look at the smile on Louis' face. Man and his machine. Freedom. His future. Excitement to take care of property and community. I'm telling you what, he's hooked. I guarantee we could revisit Louis' life down the road and he'll never forget being out with dad, breaking a sweat working in the yard, and soaking up so much intel on the world of mowing.

Some of you execs on LinkedIn will be hiring this kid in 10 years straight out of college.

Good for you, Louis.

• Jason R. in Redding, CA writes:

It's good to be back after 2 much-needed consecutive rainouts. Feeling for NW ND. Hope the draft night went down as planned. I'd like to thank this weeks sponsors: Joann's Fabrics (yes you read that right), Old Latrobe brewery, Spicy V8, NAPA Auto Parts, Camel Filters, and Red Hot Chili Peppers for the soundtrack. Track conditions were perfect. It took about 1:15 to seal the victory. Not about speed. Looking forward to next couple of weeks before Thursday night golf scrambles get going.

P.S. Dang right I'm searching other parts of the country out there, and loving it.

• Doug S. writes:

Thank you, Joe, and all the Screencaps / TNML contributors for bringing a slice of sanity and happiness. I have been following TNML since last year, but unfortunately am typically unable to get my mow done on Thursdays due to work travel.

I was able to get a new playing surface sown in the fall at the house my wife and I purchased last year thanks to the great advice coming out of the league. It is our first home with a yard (was in a townhome) and are excited for the memories to be/are being built there (i.e., my 2-year-old son took his first standing pee solo in the yard there two weeks - PROUD DAD MOMENT!). 

Like Marty M. in Screencaps today, mowing always makes me appreciate my father. He passed 3 years ago come Labor Day. His yard was his labor love. While he had to spend a lot of time traveling for work, the weekends were always set aside for making the best yard in the neighborhood while creating great bonding moments with my brother and I. When my Dad retired and had more time at the house, he branched out to helping the neighbors fix their yards. It brings solace to my whole family that while gone too soon, he passed quickly doing what he loved. When he passed, he was helping the neighbor clear some trees along their adjoining property line. Could not of scripted a more fitting way to go for my Dad. Helping others and working in the yard. He truly would have been a TNML all-star. 

I was home this week with a full lineup. Wife and I's 8th wedding anniversary Tuesday, my birthday on Friday, and a Jimmy Buffet concert on Saturday. You're damn right I wasn't missing a rare opportunity to get a sanctioned league mow in this evening. With a science night at my 5-year-old daughter's school going down at 7pm, the stripe split times had to be kept tight to get to victory lane. I want to thank Craftsman, Ford, and Miller Lite for making it happen.

• Don McC. took an incomplete because he was golfing! SMH, Don!

Played Spanish Bay at Pebble today… perfect lawns…

• Indy Daryl got the job done:

A toast to the commissioner!

Joe, thank you for taking a mundane task that I dreaded and making it something that I now truly cherish. The community you have brought together is a wonderful conglomeration of experience, skill, expertise, determination, and so much more. The best part of the internet is your Friday mowing report article. It is such a delight to read each week.

And so l, let’s all raise a favorite beverage of our choice and toast the man who brought us all together and keeps encouraging us along the way.

• Jim M. in West Lafayette, IN writes:

Thanks for the TNML sticker. It is proudly displayed. Almost had a rain out last night. But through the mist got it done. Decent striping for early season work.

• Mike T. in Eagle, Idaho reports in:

Greetings from beautiful Eagle, Idaho.

Our wet and cold weather continues here in the Mountain West, but we won’t complain because we need the moisture to fill the reservoirs for this summers irrigation water.

The Donald and I made a quick trip around the track between showers and are happy to report the grass seed didn’t get washed out.

• Perfectsburg Dan sent in his league setup:

• Adam D. writes:

Had to mow on Tuesday this week. Please don't kick me out of the league! My son volunteered our yard for Wednesday night church youth group to come over and play gaga ball in our gaga pit. Photos are below. Will return to my Thursday schedule next week. #bestdad #TNML

• Tony C. writes

Happy league night from Louisville, Sir Commish!  The wife has a women's retreat meeting at church tonight, so I'm testing a new process of mowing the front lawn before dinner, eating and putting the kiddo to bed, and then mowing the back.  Whatever it takes for TNML glory and not to get stuck as a #saturdaysucker a week before Derby!

Written by
Joe Kinsey is the Senior Director of Content of OutKick and the editor of the Morning Screencaps column that examines a variety of stories taking place in real America. Kinsey is also the founder of OutKick’s Thursday Night Mowing League, America’s largest virtual mowing league. Kinsey graduated from University of Toledo.