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Thursday Night Mowing League: When Was The Last Time Clay Mowed His Lawn?

TNML Commissioner’s Report:

The major news of the week is that we received a response to Clay on the question of when he last mowed the grass at his house:

Clay writes today in his Mailbag column:

“When was the last time you mowed your lawn?”

I’ve never mowed the grass at the house we live in now. We moved in here in March of 2015. I did, however, cut the grass at our old house. So it has been seven years since I cut the grass at my house.

For the record, I never plan on cutting the grass ever again at any home I own, and I doubt if I will ever own a lawnmower again.

If this makes me a diva, so be it. I didn’t enjoy cutting the grass.

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Listen, that makes complete sense. I honestly don’t know when the guy enjoys me time. Seriously. He’s on TV at least 10 times a day. He’s doing the Clay & Buck Show. He’s texting me about all sorts of stories happening in the world. I’ve been on the phone with him as he’s about to walk into dinner. If there was ever a guy who just can’t be a TNML member, 100% Clay.

And that’s OK.

Listen, Rick Ross, who dabbles in TNML lifestyle on his massive Georgia estate, was in Miami last night smoking blunts with Mike Tyson and Ric Flair. It’s OK that some people are just too busy. This isn’t some ride or die scenario here folks.

I get that some guys don’t mow on Thursdays and they asked for stickers. Like Clay, I’m busy, too. I can’t cross-check to make sure they’re willing to take a bullet for this league. If they want to fly the colors on their beer fridge, then so be it.

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Speaking of asking for a sticker, good guy Craig V. writes:

I have to admit I have not had my official TNML opening night cut as of yet. I make a concerted effort to mow on Thursdays. But with my travel schedule, it does not always work out like that. It is for that reason I have not requested a TNML sticker because I could not accept it in good conscience.

Anyway, where I am requesting a ruling is here: what are the league by-laws on striping kits? Is that a league equivalent of PEDs? I’ve been looking at them and I’m certainly intrigued. I was watching a YouTube video about how to make your own striping kit which further piqued my interest. But I could not go through with it if I would end up in the Pete Rose area of the TNML. I look forward to your official stance.

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It just happens that the 2022 league tagline is Layin’ Stripes, which means I 100% encourage everyone, including the part-time members to consider a striping kit to leave those beautiful lines in the yard that are going to make the neighbors gasp. See examples below.

When it comes to juicing the mowing game, this league 100% stands behind juicing. Like 1998, if you aren’t juicing, you’re falling behind in this league.

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Thank you to OutKick360’s Jonathan Hutton who served as the first official starter of the TNML season. It’s interesting when I propose such an absurd idea to someone and Hutton handled it like a complete pro.

Swag updates:

Let’s just say I’ve sent more messages over the last week to Olivia in the t-shirt department than I have to my own wife in the last month. Hats have been restocked. Restocking stickers is on the agenda. Shirts are flying off the shelves.

I’ll go ahead and say it: This is the hottest mowing league in the United States.

Remember, you’re pretty much a NASCAR team

I was happy to see this ‘Like’ pop up this morning. As this league grows and you guys keep tagging your sponsors, they will begin to notice what we’re building here. It’s just a matter of time.

Last night was a helluva turnout from league members. I can’t imagine how these Friday posts are going to look in June when the entire country is in full swing.

Great job, league members.

Email: joekinsey@gmail.com

TNML Reports:

• Adam W. in western Nebraska sent me a pregame report on Wednesday which I’ve included because he completely understands that he’s pretty much operating a NASCAR team. Take notice of the striping kit:

Great week, first off the mask garbage is over at my work!!!.It was a great moment getting congratulations from air travelers and high fives from fellow employees on Monday.

Tomorrow (Thursday) we mow.  Think me and the crew hit the setup pretty good.  We’re expecting the 05 Briggs to unload and make some big power tomorrow.  She is gonna be cutting from setting B so we keep the front end down to the grass.  Proud of all the work the guys have done at the shop.

I attached our 2022 Opening Day Team Photo.  Winds were blowing over 40 mph, dust was everywhere, but the crew turned in a very workman-like performance.  We mow for Husker Nation.

• Ryan S. in Ohio, yes the gun and gun rack is real, writes:

Welcome Spring!!! It’s great to be back!!!

Any chance that this great weather today, a Thursday, was by accident, I don’t think so. My mower is back and so is the artillery. I also solved my dilemma on where to display my pride.

I remember many discussions last year about straight lines or diagonal, I’m guessing diagonal is the general consensus with this crew.

• Coach D. is making his TNML debut. Love to see the new guys for the 2022 season mixing it up with the old vets:

My rookie season begins with me thanking my sponsors. SCAG Mowers, Stihl trimmers, RedMax blowers, Keen boots, and Carhartt apparel. My beverage of choice this evening was Sweetwater 420 in honor of, well, 4/20.

I incorporated Do Hard Things with the TNML and began a lawn care business as my retired-life side hustle. I finish my weekly mowings on Thursday evenings, have a couple of garage beers as I restock and refuel for the next week, and look forward to a four day weekend EVERY week. I think I am starting to figure out this retired-life thing!

Thanks for a voice from us older guys who still want to be productive, get a good workout and sweat going, and enjoy the great outdoors!

• Tim G. in the 419 is back for his second year of competition. Tim understands photo staging about as well as anyone in this league. He’s like a 12-year veteran left tackle going out there to do business:

Missed opening day last week because my yard was waaaay too wet. Gave it a go in Week 2 – maybe a little early but worked out ok. A 5” cut with the #exmark with my new #dewalt headphones (thanks Santa!) Enjoying a Mich Ultra draft from my keg after the maw. Still wet in the 419 but a beautiful day to be out in the yard! Proudly rolling with my #TNML sticker!!

• Mike T. in Idaho, who bought his mower with his Trump stimulus check, writes:

Greetings from beautiful Eagle Idaho!

Sorry The Donald and I missed last week’s opening kickoff, I’ve been busy with a couple of projects, but no more excuses, we are back in the game now commish!

Interesting weather here in the Mountain West, very, very dry winter but in the last two weeks quite a lot of snow in the mountains and cold weather. We even received two inches of snow and lots of rain here in the Treasure Valley! Not complaining, we definitely needed it , but Spring has definitely been delayed!

The Donald and I have had several passes, but as you can see by my shoes, it’s a wet track. Thanks for the decals, I’ve saved one for our lease car in Europe, should be fun!

Dane in Missouri writes:

After tonight’s experience, I have to say that trying to get a solid mow in (especially on a Thursday) while beating an approaching thunderstorm might be in the top 3 achievements of the suburban male life. Like a pitcher with a pitch count of 115 going into the 9th up a run, you know your manager is itching to pull you, call it off, finish up the rest of the yard, trimming, etc tomorrow; let the $9 million dollar closer wrap things up. But you’re your own manager and by damn if you aren’t finishing this mow come rain, hail, whatever.

As the thunder starts to rumble in the distance, you start to mash the self-propelled throttle a little faster, you start to question whether your edges really need to be clean or if they can just pass for Rosie O’Donnell’s bikini line? If you really need to blow those grass clippings off the common ground? BUT NO! You’re a TNML member and you do things the right way. So even as you feel the first drops of rain, you soldier on and finish the job.

Then you retreat indoors, for a nice beverage of choice while listening to one of God’s greatest sounds and admiring the lines you didn’t half-ass because you’re a TNML member and that’s just part of the code. Racing the storm gives me more pleasure than 99% of what I do at work on a daily basis. Keep up the mowing, even under conditions that would have a high school football game delayed two hours (hopefully I’m legally allowed to say that). One hand on the mower, the other on the weather app lightning strike tracker.

• Tony DeB. in Cincy sent in a massive review of battery-powered equipment that I will get to this weekend, but first let’s see his Thursday performance:

• Ken S. in North Augusta, Georgia writes:

Good evening, Mr. Commissioner –

I’m reporting in from South Carolina a week late, due to a family vacation. Got my season-opening mow in today, but more importantly, I made a decision on where to display my TNML sticker.

Here it is on the rear window of my battered, classic Jeep Cherokee. (The vehicle used to make runs to Lowes.) My yard is fenced, so I chose not to place it on my lawnmower…my neighbors wouldn’t be able to appreciate it! It will spark lots of admiration from the other guys at Lowes.

Looking forward to seeing everyone’s lawns around the country – thanks for keeping the League rolling!

• John W. in Yardley, PA writes:

That morning after feel….figuring out weekend project time….thanks for all you do

Written by Joe Kinsey

I'm an Ohio guy, born in Dayton, who roots for Ohio State and can handle you guys destroying the Buckeyes, Urban Meyer and everything associated with Columbus.

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