Thursday Night Mowing League: We Made It To The All-Star Break

TNML Commissioner’s Report:

Like any great sporting league, it was important in 2021 to conceptualize TNML from the ground up via my text group and with the help of the amazing league members. We had to come up with everything. Social media channels had to be formed. Shirts needed designed. Rules had to be created.

And we needed to have an all-star break where readers get a bye week.

That comes next week when I’m OFF. Again, don’t send in TNML reports NEXT THURSDAY. Save the effort. I won’t read them. I love how passionate you guys are about this league, but I’m going dark for a few days next week to recharge my batteries.

It’s the all-star break. No points will be deducted if you miss next Thursday. Hell, mow on Saturday for all I care. I will be on a golf course suckin’ down beers, listening to music, laughing with friends and playing golf — in that order.

Now, let’s dive into my lawn report:

The mower is still at 3 1/2″ depth and the turf seems to be holding up tremendously. We received four inches of rain Monday, then it went to 100 on Tuesday and here is the grass on Thursday night after my mow. It’s lush.

However, this week, we’re about to go to 99 again, plus multiple 90s with sun and zero rain in the forecast. It’s about to get real interesting for those suburbanites who shave their yard and refuse to learn about turf depth. Raise those decks!

As for the flowers, I cannot complain. It’s been an incredible season so far for the plants. I’m super proud of the patio entrance my wife and I have worked so hard on. My goal was to make it feel hidden, yet inviting to the neighbors who bring over margaritas.

No regrets at all on the tall planter purchase. Those petunias are about to spill right over the edge and create a wall like we planned.

This is why I write about the patio life so much. There’s not much better than turning off the brain and living that patio life after a long day of blogging.

• I’m told by OutKick T-Shirt & Solo Cup Manager Olivia that you guys are buying TNML products at such a brisk pace that they can’t keep up. A new order of Solo cups came in on Monday, I believe, and Olivia said they had to place a new order on Tuesday.

That’s right, sold out of Monday’s stash in 24 hours.

• No offense to the league, but this guy’s mowing game is on a whole other level compared to the typical TNML member:

Have an incredible weekend and make sure to stop and appreciate your work in the yard. Don’t listen to the losers who say it’s such a waste to spend so much time on the yard. You do it for a reason. Enjoy it. Be proud.

Email: joekinsey@gmail.com

New TNML products….BUY! BUY! BUY!

TNML Reports:

• Indy Daryl writes:

95, 100, 103 whatever the heat was, it was brutally hot out there today. Fortunately, because of battery life, I was forced to break it up into two sessions; which was probably the right move anyway!!

Have a one night overnight backpacking trip planned with just me and the three kiddos tomorrow night (12, 7, 3). Brought all the gear up from the basement and the kids had a blast helping me get everything all situated. Yes, it will be hot. Yes, it will be challenging. But dang it will be fun!

All made even more enjoyable because I know mowing has been taken care of on Thursday!

Love the league! Hope everyone has a great mow tonight!!


• Tim G. in NW Ohio writes:

Nice 5” cut with the Exmark on a hot Thursday evening in the 419. Amazing at how much rain we have had this year. There is still a part of my yard I have not yet mowed. We had another inch of rain with a storm on Monday night that took down two branches the size of my leg. Looks like a Saturday project. Good thing I mowed on Thursday 🙂

• Sean C. in Granger, IN writes:

It reached 98 here in Northern Indiana today, but it was the coolest day of the week. I’ve gotta say, the relatively low humidity has made it to where late afternoon activities are manageable. Typically I get the mowing done before dinner. But tonight I was going to give it time to cool off. So after dinner, I grab my mowing shoes and my ear buds and proceed to go outside. My girlfriend says to me “No, you aren’t mowing tonight, are you?” I simply replied “It’s league night”. That’s all that needed to be said. Even though it’s been hot and dry the better part of the last week, I think Monday’s tremendous storm soaked things up enough to keep the yard green. That, and being on well water, I’m pretty generous with the watering since I don’t have to worry about running up a $300 water bill like my city counterparts.

I cleaned out my garage fridge the other day and found this Founders IPA. I’ve been off the IPA kick for a few years now. I found this lone soldier which has probably been sitting in the fridge since my last party. I decided to give it a try. I can’t say I was a fan. I do enjoy some other Founders choices from time to time, but this wasn’t it. Back to the Busch Light it is!!!

I did want to comment on your Cedar Point report. That was extremely thorough. Nice work! I’m with you on the people-watching. It makes walking through lines for 12 hours almost worth it. I never gave two thoughts to the landscaping aspect there, but over the last few years, my perspective has changed. I’ll make sure to use a critical eye the next time I go. I can’t wait to go back!

• Jerry G. writes:

Having run into some surprise medical difficulties, getting my normal good start on a strong lawn prep was delayed this year.  It’s times like these that remind a guy to appreciate having a willing group of friends that will assist when the going gets rough.  Let’s get straight to the bios;

Due to his proximity, Jeffrey “Lightning” Kellogg (left) sports a 45-second emergency response time for those urgent neighborly lawn issues that require immediate attention.  Coupled with his mechanical engineering training and general physical prowess, there has not yet been a situation beyond his abilities.

Michael “Cross Cut” Walla (right) wields 50 years of horticultural experience.  As I was unable to tend to the lawn during the critical spring start-up period this year, Mike generously provided his expert knowledge and effort to team with my spouse at just the right time to rebuild a struggling lawn with seeding and fertilization.  

While proudly reppin’ the 505, Jeff and Mike have both stepped outside of their normal comfort zone of gasoline and oil machinery into the realm of battery-powered equipment.  Ego-branded mower, trimmer and blower have been up to the task for these demanding professionals but being tradition-minded, neither have gone so far as to have stated an affinity for the unfamiliar power platform.  An appreciation for one’s heritage runs deep in these two.

While I have been recovering and anxiously awaiting my call-up back to the active roster, I have been fortunate to have these two friends who have provided the crucial one-two punch to creating a strong, luxurious lawn that has become the envy of the entire neighborhood.  Much appreciated! 

For Thursday night refreshments, Mike’s taste is incredibly eclectic in that he is lucky to have a good friend in a one Kevin Davis, who just happens to own the local Boxing Bear Brewery.  Ah, the type of friend all of us could use! 

Tonights selection happens to be Scotch Rocket.  Typical solid choice, Michael.   Jeff sports a numerically strong “1554” from a long-term favorite, New Belgium Brewery.   As alluded to earlier, Jeff likes to stay sharp and quick on his feet; typically “floating like a butterfly and stinging like a bee”.  Which reminds me that it is great to have these two guys in “my corner”.

• Adam W. in Sidney, NE writes:

We Mowed our house and boys and I layed down some stripes on the neighbors yard Wednesday.  Tonight we’re hosting some good friends from out of town.  

Preparing a League-approved meal for today.

GBR

• Ryan S. in NW Ohio reports:

Great evening for a good mow. Only took a little over two hours, but it cost about $40 in fuel. Thanks for that JB. Can’t imagine what Beau pays for his fuel. And yes, the grass gets blown away from the pond.

• Rookie Jacob Z. writes:

Long time viewer but first time poster. The better half and I just moved from to NC from up north and I finally got my lawn. Been in the house almost a month, but all the other honey-dos got in the way on Thursdays for officially joining the league. But tonight, while on a break preparing my Ph. D defense for tomorrow morning, I got a mow in before the rain showed up.

The previous owner didn’t do a great job keeping up the yard, so I’m trying to get the Bermuda rehabbed and brightened up, but she did the leave the mower for me. Big shout out to Kobalt for the tools, Yuegling for operator maintenance, and Nike for the shoes. Here’s to many future league nights. 

• Candler in Duluth, GA writes:

Joe- I’m not gonna lie, it was tough out there today. The attitudes of my mowers (see pics below) were poor at best. In their defense, the heat index was 106 when we mowed around 4:30 this afternoon. Luckily we were all able to push through and get the job done. 

We thought about playing some whiffle ball on our freshly cut field after the mow, but we decided against it given the conditions. Instead we came inside and watched a couple of episodes of The Crocodile Hunter. Seeing Steve Irwin in action never disappoints. He really was an international treasure. Anyway, I would say that, all in all, it was a pretty good summer afternoon.

We’re off to the lake this weekend, and I couldn’t be more excited to be done with yard work/household chores for the week. This is why… WE MOW ON THURSDAYS!!

• Pat M. in Vancouver, USA writes:

Last Saturday during a 6 hour break in the rain my son and I cleared some of my property. The Billy Goat was quite a champ at clearing the land so I could map out my shop. 

Afterward our neighbor offered us a couple of Porch beers from Trap Door Brewing and I can’t wait for the day when we are relaxing on the porch sipping on beer and taking in our view of the Columbia River. 

I just want to say Thanks for making mowing fun again.  

• Rookie Jacob Z. writes:

Long time viewer but first time poster. The better half and I just moved from to NC from up north and I finally got my lawn. Been in the house almost a month, but all the other honey-dos got in the way on Thursdays for officially joining the league.

But tonight, while on a break preparing my Ph. D defense for tomorrow morning, I got a mow in before the rain showed up. The previous owner didn’t do a great job keeping up the yard, so I’m trying to get the Bermuda rehabbed and brightened up, but she did the leave the mower for me. Big shout out to Kobalt for the tools, Yuegling for operator maintenance, and Nike for the shoes. Here’s to many future league nights. 

• Adam D. writes:

To say it was hot, would be an understatement.  With real feel temps coming in at 110 degrees at 6:00pm on Thursday night.  Lesser men would have postponed for an early Saturday morning.   Not league members, we got out there as we move toward league MVP.  So I came home from work, put on my uniform and opened the garage door to sauna levels of heat and humidity.   

Touching my “mow like a champion” shirt hanging up in the garage above the mower.  We started out on an epic battle of mowing, sweat and guts.   Not only did I have my own lawn to mow, but with my son out of the rotation this week at a church camp.  Had another lawn to mow.  So I loaded up the mower to head to another lawn that needed stripes laid in the picture below.  This lawn is located on a street named Boston circle.  So I wore my American flag BoSox shirt to mow.  The only dry spot on this shirt is in the middle of the B.  

To add to all of this work, upping my husband game.  My wife left for a sister’s weekend that ends on Saturday.  This left we with making dinner for the kids and walking the dog along with two lawns to mow.   Once I was completed with all my work, tonight was a night to spend in the basement under the fan sipping on a 44oz of Mt. Dew! 

Tom Brady thinks he’s the only one that can set up his wife for a guys trip down the road.  Imagine telling your wife to take a sister’s weekend trip on Father’s day weekend.   Feel like I put in a MVP level performance last night.  Now to survive until Saturday with the kids…

Adam even sent a tweet this week!

Written by Joe Kinsey

I'm an Ohio guy, born in Dayton, who roots for Ohio State and can handle you guys destroying the Buckeyes, Urban Meyer and everything associated with Columbus.

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