Thursday Night Mowing League: The Most Important Week of the Year

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TNML Commissioner’s Report:

I’m going to keep this quick since so many of you have moved on from the Internet because you’re off all weekend and the last thing you want to do is read a bunch of words. You’re already 4-5 beers deep on a Friday afternoon and you’re here for the photos anyway.

Frankly, I’m shocked to have received so many submissions this week. According to the latest drought data, there’s a line from southern Illinois through Indianapolis and closing in on my area of NW Ohio where it’s officially baking. I don’t remember the last time it rained. It feels like the last time it rained was at least three weeks ago, but I could be wrong there.

So, great job to all those who contributed while the rest of us bake.

Let’s go out there and have a weekend. Meat. Fireworks. Beer. Bourbon. Blueberry wheat.


New TNML products….BUY! BUY! BUY!

TNML Reports:

• Dustin in Bowling Green, Ohio is quickly becoming a league MVP favorite after this performance heading into the 4th of July. He completely understood what I was looking for this week.

Dustin writes:

“After the work is done and you’re standing there in awe of the masterpiece you have created in the form of a well-manicured lawn, you may hear a sound. Do not be alarmed, for that is the sound of FREEDOM ringing in your ear. Keep those lines straight my fellow yard warriors. May this Independence day be filled with drinks, corn hole, and a medium-rare burger hot off the grill. And from this Patriot to all of you fine souls, God Bless America!”

• Charlie G. writes:

I have been a fan of Screencaps for most of 3 years now. I found Outkick due to my respect for Jason Whitlock and have been an avid reader of your posts since then. I retired from my 30 year career as a CPA in Denver a couple years ago and bought a ranch in Wyoming. My lovely wife and I purchased 19 heifers last year as well as a bull and we now are calving what looks to be 18 new fur-babies.

This has been one of the wettest springs that we have seen in northern Wyoming in the last 20+ years since we’ve been coming here. Attached are some pics/videos as we put up hay this evening and I hope it counts as part of TNML. I’m sure you Midwest boys will put me to shame, but the 3-foot grass is the best I have seen in this part of our great country. I have also included a couple of pics of our recent favorite addition to the herd.

I’ve ordered a shirt, hat and sticker from TNML so that I can fly the colors. I appreciate what you do as your posts are always a pleasure to read every day. Keep up the good work!

Talk about making a splash with a first TNML email, Charlie just sent chills up the spines of league members across this country with this slice of life he just shared. If I hear one league member ripping on Charlie for the length of that turf, that league member will be immediately banned from this league and can go to the Saturday Night Mowing League.

Charlie, this is pretty much a dream retirement for 85% of Screencaps readers. Man and land. Few cows. A dog or dogs. Texas chili for dinner. Cornbread.

I wasn’t really dialed into my work today and then I opened this email.

We need to see more of the ranch, Charlie!

• Candler B. in Duluth, GA writes:

Joe- It’s been a slow grow in Metro Atlanta suburbia with little rainfall and a lot of heat the last couple of weeks. I probably could have skipped tonight’s mow, but I wanted to be sure that my little slice of America is looking its best for its birthday weekend.

My sons are on a trip with their grandad, so I had to find a new worker to help me get some things done around the house today. Meet Brad, the newest member of our family, who we picked up at the animal shelter on Monday. What he lacks in opposable thumbs, he makes up for in spirit! At this point, he’s just familiarizing himself with the equipment, but he looks like a fast learner. Look at that intensity on his face! You tell me that’s not a cat who’s ready to lay some stripes! 

The lawns are cut, and it’s almost the weekend. Happy Fourth of July! 

• Sean in Granger, IN writes:

Does anyone have fiber-optic companies coming through and digging up their easements?  We started getting notices over the last week that this fiber-optic company is going to be burying lines in our neighborhood soon. I’ve heard some horror stories of them tearing up yards and doing a crap job of putting things back they way they were. AT&T was out a few years ago and covered the grass they dug up with straw. Not sure the reason for that. I guess we’ll see what these guys end up doing.

Since I’ve been mowing on Thursdays, allowing me to enjoy the weekend, the stakes are raised when you get to a holiday weekend. We always get Memorial Day Weekend and Labor Day Weekend, but at least 5 out of 7 years we get a long 4th of July Weekend. That’s when mowing on Thursdays really gets the juices going. We’re in the dog days of summer, and having an extra day for golf, pool or patio beer time is essential.

The last few weeks have been hot and dry, and I’ve had to raise the deck to it’s highest level to keep the lawn from getting scorched. I’ve been watering certain zones a second time (around 8pm) just to keep up, and I’m impressed at how well the lawn has help up in one of the driest summers I can remember in a while.

So as I prepare for the long weekend, I’ll feel sorry for those who are still mowing on the weekend.  I can’t wait to smell the grills, see and hear the fireworks, taste the beer, and feel the unrivaled pride that I have to live in the greatest country in the world, despite the efforts of some current senile “leaders”.

Happy 4th to everyone!  Go America!! 


Can’t say I have any experience with the yard being torn up by fiber-optic lines, but I do know what kind of damage armyworms can do. I had enough of that damage last summer. Somehow the fiber optics were buried around here way back in 2010 when we bought this place.

• Cindy T. in Eagle, Idaho writes:

Greetings from beautiful Eagle Idaho.

Cindy T filling in for Mike T who had left knee replacement surgery. Mikes going to be out awhile!

We finally had our first taste of summer this week with our first day over 100 and averages of over 88 everyday! Sweet, sweet summer is finally here. I took The Donald on a quick spin around the yard so Mike wouldn’t drive me crazy! Looks good, I thought. The Donald knows how to treat a lady!

My ladies size 7 don’t compare with Mikes size 14, but we got the job done.

Happy 4th of July to everyone across our great Nation.

God, bless the Red, White and Blue!

(PS…Mike helped write this!)

• Pat M. in Vancouver, WA writes:

Hi Joe, My older brother “Dr. Mark” in Anchorage celebrated his wife Jan’s 80th birthday by putting a big Eight Oh in his lawn for all to see.  The party today had over one hundred attending!

Do I need an official ruling from the commissioner if this is proper use of a mower?  And maybe you can make an exception for milestones like this. 

I’ll also share a couple of videos that he took doing it.

• Robert in NC writes:

JK…Happy 4th of July to SCN.  Been dry AF here in the Piedmont of NC so I let it grow out, but back to the Nasties for the 4th.  Wife would be happy I hung the porch flags since she is away.  Got our beloved Samdog on the turf in this pic.  Keep up the good work and thank God we live in the best country in the world/ask Grinder ha.  Happy Birthday USA!!!


Written by Joe Kinsey

Joe Kinsey is the Senior Director of Content of OutKick and the editor of the Morning Screencaps column that examines a variety of stories taking place in real America.

Kinsey is also the founder of OutKick’s Thursday Night Mowing League, America’s largest virtual mowing league.

Kinsey graduated from University of Toledo.

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