Thursday Night Mowing League: Rookie Jimmy D.’s Official Coming Out Party

Videos by OutKick

Commissioner’s report:

I’m not proud of it, but it’s life.

Yes, I will have to spend a Friday night mowing while league members are on their patios laughing at me living the loser life. But the kids are young just once.

Looking ahead, next week is a similar scenario, but the kids are now out of school and I can get to the playing surface earlier.

TNML All-Star Break

Looking ahead, June 8 is the official all-star break. It’s when I go golfing in northern Michigan and I do not look at your messages for five days. Mark your calendars. Save the emails on June 8. I’m not reading them. Fair warning.


Week 6 Power Rankings:

  1. Fink in Illinois
  2. TJ Bollmer in the 513
  3. Matt Schmitz
  4. Jimmy Dobbins
  5. Andy G. in Toledo

Also receiving votes: Dave Holmgreen in Texas, Canoe Kirk, Mark Schlereth, Candler in Georgia, Mike Freshwater (for his league recruiting skills).

We have ourselves an official race for TNML National Mower of the Year. Keep in mind, Dobbins and Andy G. are league rookies who have taken their video performances to the next level. Bollmer moves into the No. 2 position based on his level of production.

This week, Bollmer unveiled an unofficial TNML mowing flag on his flag pole. That’s another way to move up the ladder.

• Kurtis J. in NW Ohio writes:

It can’t get much better for a TNML night in NW Ohio. The sound of the mower motor humming as the stripes are being made in the crisp evening air is nostalgic. To top the night off, as dusk was dissipating to night, my beautiful bride was out conversing with the neighbors down the street who I have dropped several hints about the TNML league benefits.

However, while taking a dip here and there, he still can’t evolve into a modern man and maintains his Neanderthal ways of performing mowing duties on the weekend.

So as their conversation ended and they began to walk home, I yelled from my second story window, “Hey! Before you walk to much further, take a deep breath in and make sure you smell that sweet smell of freshly cut grass!”

I know that he knew what point I was making. Maybe one day he will convert, but this night he walked home still dragging his knuckles on the pavement.

Buy! Buy! Buy!

Thursday Night Mowing League reports from across the United States

• Mike T. in Idaho writes:

Greetings from beautiful Eagle, Idaho!

Beautiful spring weather across the Mountain West, With occasional thunderstorm.

We fly our flags all year in Idaho, we currently have 4 types of flags in the front yard ( 3 hand-made by Cindy T) and 4 in the backyard.

We love America in Idaho and aren’t afraid to show our colors 24/7 and 365!

God bless America and those who served!

• Mike adds:

After a crazy day at the office I beat sundown getting home and had a pretty good league night in the back yard. The winter fostered dog pee bare spots have pretty much filled after 3 rounds of grass seed and the yard has greened up nicely.

I’m pretty happy with the stripes I got out of the old Craftsman 6.5 but I ran out of line on my Black & Decker trimmer just shy of a complete circuit around the edge of the lawn. But the Weed Eater blower cleaned up everything nicely and now it’s time for a Desert Fog Hazy IPA from Marble Brewing Co.

The only thing missing is that TNML sticker I have been requesting on Twitter DM. I know you said you thought you sent one already so I’m gonna be checking the USPS mail truck the next time I’m home around delivery time. Happy League night!

• Indy Daryl writes:

My goodness what a start to a long weekend. Due to a flex day, working last Sunday for an Epic EHR upgrade, and Memorial Day, this morning started 5 days off!! So what did the Mrs and I do?? A couple hours of weeding plus 45 cubic feet of mulch, then a good clean mow. Man does it feel good to have all of that done!!

After a nice long trail run, picking up my brother and SIL from the airport, it is off to the 9U soccer tournament championship game!! We got a heck of a team and a good shot to win.

And to top it all off I don’t think the weather could be any better! Cheers to all!!

• Candler B. in Duluth, GA writes:

Summer is HERE in Atlanta suburbia, and we are feeling great about it. My sons shook off their school year rust today and got back in the mowing game while I handled the edger and blower. It was a solid performance, and we definitely have things looking respectable for Memorial Day weekend.

After an early mow, we hit the Braves game for OutKast bobblehead night where Big Boi threw out the first pitch. He bounced it, but it was certainly a respectable effort. Andre 3000 was nowhere to be found, but I’m sure he had his reasons. 

All in all, it was a great start to the summer. Happy Memorial Day weekend to all. We mow on Thursdays! 

• Rob in NC writes:

Joe…did a special cut for Memorial Day weekend. USA Dartboard/ It’s getting crispy in the Piedmont, but not hot. Rain this weekend hopefully to keep us green.  Threw in the Memorial flags the Mrs does.  Appreciate all that served including my pops and grandfather’s and all that gave the ultimate.  If anyone is looking for a war movie by chance on Netflix right now ‘We are Soldiers’ 2002.  Keep on with it Joe appreciate you…thanks to all services and sacrifices……shout outs..Bobcat/ Stihl/lattes farmer style/ bombtech golf/gas mowers/ USA

• Jason S. in Dallas, TX writes:

Jason here from Dallas. I finally wanted to write in and tell you how much I appreciate you and the Screencaps community. It’s the first thing I go to every morning and look forward to it every day. We moved in several years and when I started doing my own yard I had neighbors come up and offer their landscaping companies to help me out.

I explained I enjoy taking care of my own lawn and didn’t need any help. Our community has a yard of the month club and explained I wanted to win with doing the hard things by myself.

Now I am a 4-time winner. Thanks for the inspiration and the hard work on your end. The only thing missing from the picture is an official sticker to make me part of the club. Keep up the great work and glad to hear your son is better. Happy Memorial Day!

• Matt in Nashville writes:

Lots of success stories this week plus one setback by what I’m sure is a Very Good Boy.

First things first, the mow was great. It was a late day at the office, so I was very happy for the cooperating weather and daylight. Can’t ever take those for granted. 

On the negative side, I walked out this week to a huge *VERY DEAD* spot in my grass that was clearly caused by a dog stopping by to do its business (see photo 😕). As a multi-dog owner I totally understand when one goes somewhere and something bad happens, but when your dog is a WGD – Weapon of Grass Destruction- (Yes, just made that up as I was typing this, so ™) you have to know not to let them take destructive pees in someone else’s yard. I just feel this is common pet/lawn/neighbor courtesy, am I wrong?

Back to the positive! Last week, I told the league my trusty Mowing Shorts ™ had disappeared. Well, when I went to get clothes one day this week for my oldest son, it turned out my wife had folded them up in a stack with his clothes so they are saved! I attached a pic showing the valuable drawstring, the perfect league-shirt-matching stripe, and the lovely exhaust burn mark that make them so near and dear to my mowing heart. 

Also, not sure if this affected OH, but in TN all of our Laurels died as a result of that one “winter vortex” weekend when it got down to about -4 here. Well we finally saw signs of life from the roots, so cut them down to stump level to let the new life in. Thank you #FiskerTools. Pics of a few of the stumps plus our lovely pile of refuse attached. 

All in all an incredible league night. I wanted to add that I am very happy to hear your son is recovering. I have no doubts he’s got a great dad in his corner.

• Mark H. writes:

The Polo Fields Craftsman “powered by Honda” Anti-woke team had a great night. We were laying 21” stripes with a newly sharpened blade and we got off to a great start quite literally from a replacement recoil starter. Unbeknownst to our team, the pull cord was out of its guide and after fraying on an enthusiastic start last outing, the cord didn’t survive a restart pull during a mid mow pitstop to take on gas. A hard pull on a frayed cord and we were out of commission. Team Huddleston likes to keep our parts OEM but with a narrow window for rain, HOA compliance requirements, and league night upon us? Sacrifices had to be made. We’ll continue to find a suitable replacement starter before next mow. 

We’d like to thank Red Wing Shoes for proper footing and the reassurance of composite safety toe protection. A continued reminder to make safety a value – not a priority. Priorities change but values rarely do! Last week there was an unfortunate incident from edging while wearing shorts. Chicks may dig scars when you’re young but your wife of 25 years will not be impressed when you bleed for the team. Wear jeans and protect your shins. I know, safety isn’t cool but when a piece of trimmer line leaves a gouge in your safety glasses, you’ll be thankful you aren’t sporting a pirate’s eye patch. We rely on clean burning coal power to run out Black & Decker trimmer/edger and the Toro “leaf” blower. Ten years out and I’m pretty sure we’ve gotten our money’s worth out them! 

Our team enjoyed the world’s best double Manhattans as a cool down on the Sunbrella (don’t waste your time with anyone else) back porch sofas. Bulliett Rye, Black Walnut bitters, sweet vermouth, Luxardo cherries (in lieu of simple sugar) and hand-crafted ice so clear you could read the newspaper through it (if anyone still read papers.) There was an unfortunate incident with the ice. Being thirsty after a quick mow I failed to temper my ice which resulted in a fractured ice ball. A minor tragedy given this was a perfectly clear and perfectly round ice ball. FYI – Bourbon Bros eventually evolve into Ice Bros. First comes square cubes, then clear square cubes, then round cubes, and then attempts at clear round cubes… it ain’t happening without both top to bottom freezing and then an ice press. When it’s achieved? It’s a thing of beauty! 

As a POC in the heartland of G-d fearing America; To paraphrase Superman, “Kansas. As American as it gets!” It was a glorious mow I tell you. Goals set, problems overcome, children engaged, outcomes achieved. 

• Sean C in Granger, IN, who owns the TNML Indiana license plate, writes:

Through all the weekends of summer, it’s the long weekends when being a part of the TNML really shows its value. My weekend is STACKED, from golf, to cookouts, to ballgames, to the AEW Double or Nothing PPV in the backyard on Sunday night. Having the lawn mowed, edged and trimmed heading into this weekend is like making it a 4-day weekend!

In the past several days, I’ve had more than one person ask me about my TNML license plate. A couple people I know that apparently weren’t aware of the TNML (that’s my fault I suppose), and one person who was a complete stranger who asked me about it in the parking lot of a restaurant. The person was amazed and excited to hear about the TNML. It was like a new world opened up for them. Whether people write in or not, rest assured, the TNML is growing in the Northern Indiana/Southwest Michigan area.

And this right here is why we do it. So for 3 nights I can light the fire pit and enjoy some quiet evenings knowing I don’t have to mow the next day. Not to mention, it’s going to get hot here next week. So the sprinklers are now active. I need a nice green lawn to mow next Thursday!

God Bless those who served and those who still do on this Memorial Day Weekend.

• Brian in Savannah, GA writes:

Jason for FarNorCal told me to send this to you, Joe.

tnml #layin’stripes #savannahga #theSAV

• Brian B. in Madison, CT writes:

Weather:  Sundown, 63 degrees, and overly dry lawn.

Pattern:  Modified ‘B’ (sim. as week 2 and 4)

Mowing sponsors:  @HusqvarnaUSA and @newbalance.

Post-mowing sponsors:  The Jazz Daredevil Whisky Highball and Bug-A-Salt (@bugasalt)

Let the league down tonight Joe.  Work and car maintenance caused a late start and the wind just decided to stop at the starting time, which meant the black-flies were chasing after me and in the eyes at every turn.  That got the best of me and couldn’t get the double cut in.  Next week may result in something similar as I have a long road trip out of state to check on job sites.  However, the show goes on and if my father can mow the lawn in the dark before I was of age to take over, I can mow with a headlamp  (hopefully wont have to do that).

Weekend operation:  Protect the beer fridge from the in-laws now the pool is open (not an intentional brag)

• Rookie Michael H. in San Antonio, Texas writes:

Each year, our office shuts down the Thursday before Memorial Day and proceeds to rent an entire golf course and clubhouse. It marks the official dawn of summer – the busiest time of the year is done, Q1 is behind us, and the summer is ahead. The day starts crushing breakfast tacos, then smashing some balls, enjoying the sun, and partaking in beverages (I did not see one bud light consumed).

After leaving the course, as I arrived home to change into my pre laid out mowing uniform, I noticed something peculiar – a shirt laying out. It wasn’t just any shirt – it was a Thursday night mowing league shirt, a pre-Father’s Day present, which my wife generously gifted me early for this particular Thursday (she knows the obvious importance).

With a new uniform ahead of one of the most important mows of the year, it was time for the true work to begin. Conditions were idyllic – we had rain early in the week, there was no pressing work matters, family was out of the house, the sun was beaming, and the yard awaited. It was everything you could hope it could be – the edge felt good, the 15 year+ honda engine started on the first pull (as always), and the backpack blower was powerful and efficient.

It was then followed by fertilizer going down and the flags coming up. The four-day weekend is wide open. Summer is upon us – the porch swing is going to be swung and the pizza oven will be fired up. Happy Memorial Day to those of us that still love this country and are deeply thankful for those that fight to keep it free.

God bless the greatest country that has every existed.

• Jason D. in Missouri writes:

It’s been months since I’ve checked in because I felt like I didn’t have much to add to the screencaps community. Thanks to the TNML, that changed tonight. 

I’ve shared pictures of my mower before when I had to mow on three wheels (multiple times) due to a wheel breaking off. Thanks to some very suspect welding by my father-in-law each time, my mower was rescued from the injured list. My father-in-law gave me the mower 16 years ago when I married my wife. He haggled with the seller and bought the mower for south of $30. I’ve felt a responsibility to keep the mower going all these years in respect to him. 

A catastrophic injury occurred tonight that will probably lead to a well-deserved retirement, but like Jordan’s flu game, we didn’t stay on the bench for long.

After multiple attempts, I found a solution that survived the rest of the mowing night. Before becoming a reader of screencaps, I probably would have bought a new mower years ago. Doing hard things and finding value in the everyday life of a common man are easier said than done. Finding relief from the pressures of life through seemingly simple tasks like mowing the yard or keeping a cheap mower alive far longer than it was designed for, allows for a little sanity for a common man in a world that continues to attack common sense. 

My father-in-law will probably make the four-hour trip to say his goodbyes to the mower he so dearly loves, so please keep him in your thoughts and prayers. 

• Jason in Far Nor Cal writes:

It was touch and go tonight. Got the edging done before a short graduation at 6:00. Rain, thunder, and lightning after the ceremony. It blew through in time to get the front done. We’ll tackle the back track when appropriate. I’d like to thank God for the ability to have a lawn, and the nice little storm that came through. We can always use some rain around here. A special thanks to my sponsors this week, non Transheiser Busch beverage @PBR and Diesel cigars. Listening pleasure tonight was Graham Central Station. A special shoutout to a new participant this week, the good Reverend in Pooler/SAV. Looking forward to seeing his efforts!

Written by Joe Kinsey

Joe Kinsey is the Senior Director of Content of OutKick and the editor of the Morning Screencaps column that examines a variety of stories taking place in real America.

Kinsey is also the founder of OutKick’s Thursday Night Mowing League, America’s largest virtual mowing league.

Kinsey graduated from University of Toledo.

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