Thursday Night Mowing League: Rain Ruins League Night For Millions

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Thursday Night Mowing League Commissioner’s Report:

My report is going to be short and sweet — it won’t stop raining!

And that seems to be a recurring theme across the U.S. The rain has caused havoc in Birmingham where they’re trying to get the SEC Baseball Tournament in. It’s a huge issue here in the midwest. So last night I went with Mrs. TNML to the Toledo Mud Hens game for yet another one of her work events and I got to see professional outfield stripes.

I can hear it now — It was too wet to mow, but they played a baseball game?

Just think for a second if your yard had the same drainage that’s under new-ish ballparks. How great would it be to have your buddies call up and ask if they can stop over to do some outfield drills because your yard is drained and their travel ball kids need to get some work in.

Talk about a power trip for a residential lawn.

But I digress.

It looks like the mowing will be back on schedule starting next week as we roll into June with temps heading into the low 90s. That means my ass had better spend Saturday laying down as many bags of mulch as my body can take. The last thing I want to be doing in June is laying down mulch. That means my Memorial Day weekend won’t be used to just sit and do nothing.

It’s time to hump it.

Hump. Hump. Hump.

And I need to do border edging — BAD — which is going to cause a mess, but it needs to be done, fellas. The more I type today, the more things I’m adding to my list.

It’s my time to fly. Have a great Memorial Day weekend and congratulations to those who are finished up with the mowing and can sit back to enjoy the fruits of your labor. You earned it.


What a surprise it was to see this tweet from JR. This is such an awesome moment for him on his 40th. I’ll go ahead and speak for the rest of the 40-year-olds out there, this is one that we would cherish for years. What a cake. merch….BUY! BUY! BUY!

Layin Stripes Thursday Night Mowing League T-Shirt

TNML reuseable Solo® cups!

Thursday Night Mowing League Re-Useable Solo Cups

TNML forum:

• Danny W. writes:

Game Day.

• Beau in Toledo revealed!

So I know what Joe’s thinking as he’s reading this… how in God’s Good Green Earth is Beau sending a #TNML Report when the 419 is submerged in a 3 day pattern of rain that reeks of mosquito larvae?!? {Ok, I’ll admit I adjusted the schedule and Striped 2 yards on Wednesday; (Mom actually threatened to write Commish Kinsey and cry FOU!,, LOL!!), but League Rules stipulate We have the ability to do so, but cannot include pics, if inclimate weather is involved, right??}

The report is simple… it was time for the Winter Mullet to go. Now I am not asking for an exemption, but rather I ask to extend #TNML credit to Miss Brittany at @GreatClips on Sterns Rd. in Temperance,Mi. for taking the Beau Dirt Mullet down to a proper Summer League depth… from a shoulder length Party to #5 clippers and 1 inch up top… and of course she nailed it.

Yeah, I’m still ugly, but whatever… a “mow” happened today… the rest of the ManScaping pictures are on my OnlyFans page…

Side note: I don’t have an OnlyFans page… You’re welcome.

Most Importantly…

Let Us not Forget that this weekend is about WAY more than StripeLife, EdgeLines, DaddyPops, and grill marks on whatever meats we cook over flame.

It is, and shall forever be, about the Men and Women who chose Freedom over Their own Lives, so that the rest of Us could live in the Greatest Country to Ever Exist, THE United States of America.

If You see someone wearing Military Service badging, thank Them and let Them know that we are all eternally grateful for Them!

Typically I would say “God Bless America”, but He has already done so…

It is now up to *US* to Take Care of and Defend His Blessing.

Have a Wonderful and Safe Weekend!



What a reveal by Beau!

I have to say I wasn’t expecting Beau to get mowed off on league night, but it has just been that wet around these parts. Relax ladies, Beau is taken. I know the email inbox is about to be inundated by the female lurkers who go nuts over a hard-working man who knows how to use jet fuel in a mower.

• Candler B. in Duluth, GA writes:
Joe- I was hoping to give a TNML report from the homestead today, but the afternoon rain had other plans. My sons are out of school, and I was looking forward to a little fence mending followed by them getting in their first mow of the season before we headed out to Truist Park with my dad to see the Braves take on the Phillies. The mow had to be pushed to tomorrow morning, but luckily the rain moved through in time for the first pitch. 

I must say, the grounds crew at Truist has their lines a little tighter than mine, but I did do my part to raise awareness for the cause by wearing my TMNL shirt to the game. In the picture below, you’ll see three generations enjoying a night of baseball. Yes, my dad is wearing his shirt from the ’91 season, and even though we are riding high from last year’s championship run, we still aren’t even close to getting over that heartbreaker of a World Series that the Braves lost to the Minnesota Twins that year. (If I ever see former Twin Kent Hrbek on the street, I’m going to have to say something about him pulling Ron Gant off of first base in Game 2, and then he’s probably going to have to beat me up, so let’s hope that never happens.) 

One more thing, tonight was The Freeze bobblehead night at the game. (Seriously, I hope I’m never too old to get excited about bobblehead night!) I’m not sure if people other than Braves fans are familiar with The Freeze, but he is a genius between innings promotional stunt. Basically, The Freeze, who represents Race Trac gas stations (not sure how prevalent those are outside of the South), races a fan from foul pole to foul pole. The fan gets probably a 30ish yard head start. The guy tonight popped a hammy about 3/4 of the way through and The Freeze reeled him in. This clip doesn’t do the whole race justice, but it gives you the idea. It was epic.

Hopefully, most league members were able to lay some stripes down tonight. We’ll get in that early morning mow tomorrow and set the stage for another WIDE OPEN Saturday! Summer is here!

• Sean C. in Granger, IN writes:

I have to admit, looking ahead earlier in the week, I was seriously concerned about the weather for league night. I was thinking Indy Daryl had the right idea getting it done with the window he had Wednesday night. But up here in Northern Indiana, we didn’t get close to as much rain as the “experts” thought. A projected all day storm turned into a few quiet showers, all done by 3pm. Which made for a perfect (though slightly humid) night of mowing.
I’d like to address a few topics from the last week….

– Battery powered mowers. A few of my neighbors have them, but with having to cover about half an acre, it’s just not realistic for me. I hear those things run well, but the battery charge loses power as time goes on. Just what I’ve heard. But even so, part of what makes me enjoy the mowing is not only the smell of freshly cut grass, but the right combination of gas and oil. I do however have a battery powered blower which I use to keep my edges cleaned out of grass clippings. It’s more powerful than any gas blower I’ve ever had. I have had to replace the battery once in 4 years. But I’d certainly recommend it if someone is considering going in that direction.

– Dying softball leagues. I agree with some of the responses I’ve seen. I was a big softball guy after my amateur baseball career was over. 4 nights a week from May 1st to the middle of August. With weekend tournaments along the way. Then usually a night or two of a 7-8 week fall league. I did that for about 20 years. We used to have full fields for 4 games a field every night….6pm, 7pm, 8pm, 9pm. 3-4 skill levels of leagues. Then leagues got smaller and smaller. I wish I knew what happened. I know costs continue to go up. Maybe that’s a factor.

But one thing I’ve seen around here over the last 5-10 years is the increase in whiffle ball leagues. There always used to be the big whiffle ball tourneys during the summer. But I’m talking about weekly leagues. Also, beach volleyball stays popular in the summer. That’s where I think a lot of the 25-40-year-olds are these days. Just my observation.

– The long, boring drives. I certainly sympathize with you on the long boring road that is 80/90 and the Indiana Toll Road/Ohio Turnpike. One of my best friends moved to Cleveland about 10 years ago. So between visiting him, trips to Cedar Point, or my random drives through southern Idaho, or western Wyoming for work, I’ve really taken to Podcasts. They certainly help the time go by. That, or if you have a phone call to make, do it then. Time moves at 4x speed when driving and taking a call.

• Mike T. in Eagle, Idaho writes:

Greetings from beautiful Eagle Idaho,

Little patch of warmer weather this last week and the grass is enjoying the 3 1/2” cut I adopted as my yearly standard. The new grass is doing well in the redone fire pit patio and getting cut weekly.

Forecast is for showers here in the Treasury Valley, that could mean snow in the Rockies. Tough draw for the holiday weekend.

God bless all the men and women who have served and are serving our country!


Thanks to Mike T. for reminding league members that you want to get that mower deck raised as the heat starts to rise and get to that 3 1/2 to 4″ cut level as recommended by the industry big dogs.

By the way, I’ve never seen this angle of the T homestead. It’s nice to see what Cindy T. has planted around this house. Looks like some nice raised gardens. I have to assume Mike T. and Cindy T. make their own salsa knowing how much they love Mexico.

• Speaking of getting the mower deck raised, Dave in Rhode Island writes:

Just a quick note this week – the lawn is coming in AWESOME this season! 4″ cut is paying dividends.

I’m sure it won’t last through the summer without sprinklers, but I’m not ready to pull that trigger just yet.

Front yard/back yard. Happy Memorial Day to all, and may the Busch Lights be with you!

• Adam in Sidney, NE writes:

Perfect conditions in the Nebraska Panhandle for The TNML.  The 05 Craftsman laid down some sweet laps in the front yard.  I made an early trip to the garage fridge for the farmer spec Busch Light.
Crew chief made a gustsy call slamming the mower to the ground on its lowest setting.   About 0.5 inches ( freedom units) burned in some sweet double wide stripes.  
Shout out to my 6 zone wifi powered Rainbird for keeping my stripes green.  
I dedicate this mow and offer up my family’s prayers for our country, and those who never returned fighting for it.

• Matt in Nashville writes:

Checking in again a few weeks into the season. I’ve sent a couple reports, but they may have fallen victim to your junk folder massacre. Anywho, I’m happy to report the fam and I have moved to much larger digs since last season, but it comes at the cost of yard quality.
I had the old yard looking like Augusta (endulge me), but the new yard was looking more like the rough at a public links course. I’ve been putting in some serious work the last couple months to get it up to snuff, and I hope the League is proud of my progress. This was my first time selling a home and moving to an existing so also the first time I gave up my carefully cared for lawn for one that had been (generously speaking) neglected a bit.
Any advice from the TNML community on inheriting a new yard and how to help get it to standards would be most appreciated (my pics don’t include the worst parts that I want to fix – can send in future report if advice comes in). As always, thanks for all you do and cheers to all the league members out there.
I asked Matt to send in pics of those bad sections. I know many of you like a good yard challenge puzzle to figure out.

• Caleb in Pierce, Nebraska writes:

Got a good cut in during the afternoon so could get a 2.5 mile bike ride in before grocery shopping. 
One of the best reads is THE GREATEST BEER RUN EVER.
Doing hard things with that 20 year old push mower YARD MACHINE.

Written by Joe Kinsey

Joe Kinsey is the Senior Director of Content of OutKick and the editor of the Morning Screencaps column that examines a variety of stories taking place in real America.

Kinsey is also the founder of OutKick’s Thursday Night Mowing League, America’s largest virtual mowing league.

Kinsey graduated from University of Toledo.

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