Thursday Night Mowing League: Opening Day!

TNML Commissioner’s Report:

Let me paint you a picture in my head this Good Friday morning. I envision TNML members across this great country standing on their sidewalks or in their driveways in their league jerseys ($27 from the TNML shop for the big boy sizes — BUY! BUY! BUY!) smiling from ear to ear as you analyze that first real cut of the 2022 Thursday Night Mowing League season.

The grass is as green as the TNML sticker (BTW, they’re awesome and supply is nearly non-existent unless I secure more funding. We’ll see how that goes) and you just laid down the most beautiful stripes (BTW, the new 2022 TNML shirt is called Layin’ Stripes & you can BUY IT NOW!) for Easter weekend and the Easter bunny festivities.

You literally just created a pillow for the eggs to sink into, which will create quite a scene as the kids try to find eggs and your wives (or husbands!) freak out as the kids step on the treasures.

It’s the most glorious grass this time of year. Mother Nature has once again provided the light, the warmth and the nutrients to send those blades into warp growth speed.

We’re officially back!

Battery and gas-powered mowers are firing up across this country. With each mower firing up like NASCAR drivers starting their engines and preparing to do some rubbin’ and racin’, we’re reminded of the tenets of the Thursday Night Mowing League.

For those who are new around here, let’s go over how we operate:

In 2022, I want the newbies to concentrate on No. 4.

For the veterans, it’s time to take things to the next level. I need you to concentrate on 1a. This is your time to shine. OutKick and TNML have provided the platform to shine. Now it’s a matter of how you want to build your franchise. As you’ll see below, Gator Tim has taken it to the next level by creating his very own 1987 Topps TNML trading card.

This is the beauty of TNML. You choose your own journey through the league season. It’s time to decide how your franchise will operate in 2022. Let that dilemma sink in while suckin’ down those garage beers this weekend. Let your mind go free.

Remember, you’ve been waiting on this league your entire life. Make the journey special. Take the franchise to the next level.

New products….BUY! BUY! BUY!

Layin’ Stripes!

This season, I wanted a shirt for the veterans who want to show up to the patio bar for cocktails in something that says I mowed on Thursday and now I’m reaping the rewards because I’m at this cantina and I’m about to crush margs and enjoy a partly sunny with a slight breeze afternoon on the patio.

I wanted happy summer colors, the traditional mower and dad shoes, plus that Layin’ Stripes tagline that is going to be a hit, guaranteed.

TNML reuseable Solo® cups!

I got my hands on my first reuseable Solo cup back in February at a golf show and I was hooked. Now we’re offering up these cups to the TNML community. These are perfect for transporting a cold one around the neighborhood from house to house without the 5-0 putting pressure on you to clean up your act.

TNML forum:

• OutKick writer Anthony Farris asks (and this isn’t staged, he actually texted this to me looking for legit advice):

I currently have a 2019 Cub Cadet rider. Runs great, but it’s about as comfortable a ride as a cross country flight with hemorrhoids. Because of the discomfort and the time it takes to cut my yard, I’ve been looking to trade the rider in and get myself a zero turn.

I’ve tested a few and they’re much more comfortable, obviously quicker. Where my question lies, is within the hours on the mower. I’ve looked at new and used options and you can obviously save a boat load of money if you go used. But I’m clueless as to how many hours are too many or if there is even such a thing as too many hours. And to piggyback off that – not sure if year matters either.

That’s made me hesitate to pull the trigger on a good looking used Toro. Any advice would be appreciated by both me and my lawn.

Send advice to: Anthony.farris@outkick.com

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Have a nice Easter weekend and as always, you can reach me at joekinsey@gmail.com with your content, questions, whatever.

TNML Reports:

Written by Joe Kinsey

I'm an Ohio guy, born in Dayton, who roots for Ohio State and can handle you guys destroying the Buckeyes, Urban Meyer and everything associated with Columbus.

One Comment

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  1. Thank you so much for the shout out! I’ve enjoyed this league since its inception last year and with stickers, hat, and an awesome uni, I thought, “You know what would be cool? League member baseball cards!” So, as a child of the 80s, what better canvas than a 1987 Topps baseball card. After a few photos and my inaugural league mow, I grabbed an ice-cold garage beer and fired up the PC. In a matter of minutes and with the magic of Photoshop, the Outkick Thursday Night Mowing League baseball card was born. Thank you to Joe for this awesome opportunity! Cheers to all and go Gators!

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